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What price a league goal?
(A trip to Kidderminster)
Is it luck, or just plain bad luck that we are where we are? Perhaps a bit of both, but it’s now over 200 minutes since our last league goal and, incredibly enough, over 300 minutes since the last time we found the net in an away game. That defining moment came at Morecambe - on 4th December! We all know that if you don’t score, you don’t win and the way our boys are going, we could well be returning to the Croydon Arena for a festive fixture next season. I really didn’t want to mention that debacle, and I won’t, but if you were there on Wednesday, you may not have been at Aggborough yesterday. If omens are anything to go by, most of us wouldn’t have bothered either, as the Supporter’s coach managed to get lost on the way to KHFC, albeit only slightly. Instead of taking the correct turn off a roundabout and heading up the hill to the ground, our driver had to double-check the route via a MacDonalds drive-thru. No Linda Lusardi and her half-price hamburger deals here, I noticed.
When we finally arrived at the ground, most of the travelling U’s paid the £7 entrance fee and claimed a spot on the cold terrace, all except for Filbert and yours truly, who headed for the warmer surroundings of the Harriers Arms. Once inside, the obligatory pre-match pint was consumed - as was our second bad omen of the day - a local brew called ‘Grim Reaper’. Marvellous for the soul, don’t you know. Anyway, it wasn’t long before we had to brave the breeze again and make our way to the Visitors terrace to endure yet another 90 minutes of mayhem.
The first half wasn’t all that bad. We attacked our end from the kick-off, something I always prefer that we do, and did okay. We stifled where we could and appeared to keep them at bay. At the same time however, we hardly created much, although Kiddie ‘keeper Clarke did well to stop an effort midway through the first half, getting down well to his right. He was perhaps the only source of amusement at the time, as this aforementioned number 1 clearly had someone else’s shorts on! They must have been about a 30 inch waist and resembled Lycra, as opposed to the more universally favoured, flowing Polyester. Hilarity personified! That was about all the half had to offer from a Sutton point of view and the half-time whistle came with a realisation that we would again be subjected to their prat of an announcer who, in comparison, was nothing on our own Tony Dolbear.
Our formation over the first 45 minutes was again a 5-3-2 , which although I do not favour, had coped admirably. We had even managed to get both Matt Lee and Richard Skelly pushed on, which has not been the case of late. Playing this formation, if done correctly, should give us the width we cry out for, although we were nowhere near the level of our opponents, who had clearly mastered their wing-back shape long ago. Another plus was that their number 3, Scott Stamps (for this bloke, not only a name, but also a verb) had been booked for a challenge fairly early on. So the second half began, with our hosts in a more purposeful mood and the boys in green and white back-pedalling. It wasn’t long before their approach paid off.
After being under a bit of pressure since the resumption, the deadlock was finally broken in spectacular circumstances. A Kidderminster corner was cleared from the right, only to bounce up at a nice height for Craig Hinton to volley back towards goal from about 30 yards out. He must have been the only one amongst the 2,818 of us who reckoned the effort had a chance, as the ball cannoned off Gareth’s left hand post and back across the line, before being spat out of the net like a vegetable hating 4 year old would spit out a sprout. A split second later, the PA system blasted out Blur’s Song 2 and most of Aggborough sang along. One-nil, again. Kidderminster then proceeded to wage war against our woodwork, as first Ian Foster, then later Paul Webb both hit the crossbar with Howells beaten. In between these chances, Gareth had saved well from Foster when the small striker had only our ‘keeper to beat. We were living dangerously once again and had the situation made worse thanks to a frustrated lunge on Dave Harlow by Rene Peterson, resulting in our captain leaving the field on a stretcher. On in his place came Ed Hutchinson, announced as “Mr E Hutchinson” by the prat from earlier; who (a) Obviously had the same team sheet that we were given - all the programmes had sold out - and (b) Hadn’t bothered to find out Ed’s first name. What a pillock!
As time ticked on, Rowlands and Nko were introduced into the fray, for Riley and Watson, the latter having another of his laboured displays, and we reverted to a 4-4-2. Nko played like a man on a mission and with 2 minutes left, turned his man and raced goal wards, only to be brought down by Clarke for a late penalty. This gave another of our boys the chance to enter the ‘I really don’t want to score a penalty this season, because......’ competition, as up stepped Jimmy Dack to hammer the ball against the bar. Bugger. That’s three missed in the last three away league games. Those who suffer colour-blindness would think they were watching a Corinthian Casuals side of old. (For those younger than 30, Casuals would not only miss a penalty deliberately, but would also have their keeper stand OUTSIDE the post if they ever conceded one!) I am still voting for Gwynne Berry to take the next one and break his SUFC duck.
Not long after Jim’s miss came the final whistle and we hurried back to the coach to learn that all of the results in the relegation zone had gone against us. That made the journey back even longer and not even the weird people at the service stop could brighten up our evening. Although having said that, Filbert and I did chuckle at a bloke wearing a pair of outlandishly striped trousers!
Oh well, bring on Southport. Anyone remember how to get to Billericay again?
Amber
BEST AND WORST SUTTON MOMENTS 1999!!
Best bits:
(1) The fourth goal at Aylesbury - waahh ! (2) Mercilessly booing Ian "Cheat Cheat Cheat" Rutherford at Aylesbury - "Blondie, Blondie, what's the score?" indeed. (3) Racing down the A41 after said game, lovely clear day, lovely clear roads, lovely feeling (4) Having ones nuts frozen off at Ashford with 77 other souls. Grass roots stuff, especially with the grass freezing to your shoes as the night progressed. (5) Hearing that Bob Dowie had been sacked - the own goal of the year Worst bits: (1) Steve Watson leaving, not for better grade football but for a car. Oh dear, is that the strength of Sutton's pulling power. (2) Losing at home to St Albans last January - 3rd again is what I thought. Song of the Year: "All You Good,Good People" by Embrace. Full blast on the car stereo before every game whilst bellowing along to the chorus. Better than any Haka - they should belt it out over the tannoy as the teams run out. What a year - roll on the next, hopefully via Wembley in May. Happy New Year! Medway Yellow
Here's mine: LAST SEASON Best - Aylesbury away; Richard Skelly turning from dodgy to excellent Funniest - the score against Woking in the SSC, special mention to Eddie Saunders.... Worst - Boreham Wood away in the league THIS SEASON Best - er... being in the Conference I suppose; Gareth Howells; first half perfomance away at Yeovil - strung more passes together than we have for all other matches added together this season! Funniest - not too much to laugh about BUT did you see that Hayes supporter at the back of the terrace, who went to head a wayward shot back on to the pitch, but instead headed it BACKWARDS and it went out of the ground!!? His mate seemed to be having a good laugh, anyway! Worst - home to Nuneaton; away to Hayes. Happy New Year to you all. Archie
Aldershot game........
Well, I'm proud to say that I went last night, only because it is the most local game I am going to get this season. Was it worth it? I don't think so. I was one of about 30 Us fans there freezing my arse off and getting a major headache from the Aldershot fans who actually seemed to take the game relatively seriously.
Nothing much to report on - Joe Baker played the first half but was pretty ineffective. I thought Nko played well down the left, and was unlucky on several occasions as the referee seemed to believe that holding on to a players shirt and actually trying to undress him was within the laws of the game. We gave David Hall? Horne? something like that, a game in defence - didn't look overly promising. Went one down after 37 minutes after a wickedly deflected free kick wrongfooted Andy Little, two down just after that with a thirty yard screamer into the top left hand corner - Little had no chance. Sammy came on at half time to partner Watson up front - Rowlands switched to the right. As usual Sammy scampered around like a Yorkshire Terrier and got his reward after about 65 minutes when he headed home a Dave Harlow free kick. Sammy put a through ball to Watson shortly after, but it managed to hit Mark on the back as he was clean through. Somehow, Mark still emerged with the ball, which he promptly trod on and fell over.
That's about it, apart from the linesman failing to see Sammy was tripped on the edge of the area right in front of him - was it a penalty? was it a free kick? Nope.
Nothing much else to report on, apart from the severe verbal abuse that a female Sutton fan had to endure for the entire second half from the Aldershot fans - speaking about their fans, they seem to have a good relationship with the local police, as they can get away with calling them f*!*^*g c!!!*s to their faces. I was tempted to try it as well, but couldn't actually be bothered as it was so bloody cold! Also enjoyed a memorable train journey back to Portsmouth with... 15 Aldershot fans. And I split up with my girlfriend. Pretty successful day in total then!!!
Oh yeah, and another thing. Our friend Stewart Searle (old Carshalton keeper) was playing in goal for Aldershot. He must have taken something, as he actually caught the ball over three times. He was obviously pleased not to let over four goals in against us for a change, as he gave as a v-sign at the end of the match. Anyone else think an official complaint to the Ryman League and Aldershot Football Club is in order? Gareth
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06:50 and all's ..........dark!
Crikey, I don’t think I’ve been up that early on a Saturday morning for nearly 5 years, but awake I was and once the fry up had been consumed, I was out the door, coach-bound. There’s always something tranquil about an early morning start, especially at the weekend, but this peaceful morn may have been all but destroyed as the previous night out in Croydon continued to ring in my ears. I hope it didn’t wake anybody up.
With that scene set, the realisation of a 5 hour journey ‘Oop Nurth’ began to kick in. My only company, a copy of the currant bun and the conversation of Filbert - oh, and whichever papers he had purchased, one of the inclusion being a hilarious copy of the Surrey Comet and not the Sutton Comet, as previously desired. It must have been early for him too!
In what seemed like no time at all, our bus gained motorway cruise speed and those blue motorway signs began to appear and disappear with comfortable regularity, before we turned off the M-ways, lurched into Lancaster (we think) and on to our destiny, Morecambe. Alarmingly for the ground staff, we had arrived at 13:35. This threw them into utter confusion, bizarre for people in charge of a half-empty car park, but there you have it. Undeterred, our driver parked on top of a BMW, which I don’t think should have been there in the first place and we headed for JB’s bar to for refuel. I think I could get used to this ‘arrive well before kick-off’ lark.
An hour later and suitably quenched, we headed out to explore Christie Park in time to hear the team changes, which we knew anyway thanks to Iain M-J, and claimed a spot on the far side of the ground, in front of the car wash. Yes, whilst we have Colingwood Rec to gaze out over, this lot get dominated by a roadside convenience! Out came the teams.
As soon as proceedings got under way, we had bad vibes. You see, most of the Morecambe side (and perhaps squad) are under 7 stone and could probably all do the 100 metres in less than 11 seconds. Only the right-back looked ‘normal.’ The other thing was that in our first attack, the referee actually began exchanging pleasantries with some of the Morecambe fans! I’ve never felt more up against it so early in a game in my life and predictably, it wasn’t long before our hosts took control and began spraying the thing around with ease.
I won’t bother trying to analyse the match. Even after a night’s sleep it hasn’t got any better. Basically, they were quicker and could keep the ball far better than we could. That’s why most of the travelling U’s never got too worked up. For the first 15 mins of the 2nd half, we almost believed the impossible could happen, that we may even snatch a point, but that went out the window in 8 minutes of mayhem. Mr Howells can’t have been too impressed with the lack of cover in front of him, but there’s no way Justin Jackson was ever going to be caught when racing away from our defence, time after time. The bloke could have bagged a hat-full. Thank God he didn’t, but I’m not sure the booking he got when giving it the large one after his second was particularly justified.
Nevertheless, we were all relieved to hear the final whistle that put an end to a painful Saturday. Might it all have been different? I guess not, but after 5 minutes of looking at our opposition, I would have preferred Joe Baker and Nko starting in a 4-4-2 formation, instead of Paul Sears and Jimmy Dack. I can see why Danny was played in a similar role to the one he had at Cashden & Diremonds in the Cup, a sort of sweeper-come-covering capacity, but I would have liked to have seen us counter pace with pace out wide. Just my opinion.
Anyway, the Green and White U’s left the pitch to our sympathetic applause as we trudged back to the coach, listening to the annoying announcer narrate each scoreline with a story. At least Woking and Hayes lost, but once aboard the 56 seater, what didn’t help was Talk Radio broadcasting our result to the nation as 7-2! Sack Tom Watt, I say.
The journey back was as smooth as the journey there, although this time there were no factories or train depots to be confused for football grounds on the way. I tried to sleep but couldn’t and was left to stare into the back of the seat in front. Thank goodness our food stop at the services provided a well earned chance to break the boredom and stretch one’s legs. The trouble was, we timed it quite badly when arriving and pulled in behind a QPR supporters coach. This meant that I ended up in the queue for some KFC behind the fat family from Hammersmith, who bought half the franchise! Nice chicken fillet burger meal though and it was back to the coach.
Two hours later, GGL came into view as the digital display showed 22:30 and we disembarked from our transport with a goodbye for Jane, who does a sterling job, and a thank-you for the driver. A long day, with little to show, apart from an empty heart and an even emptier pocket. Still, I’d rather be coming back from Morecambe than coming back from somewhere like Heybridge. The Conference is where it’s at. Amber
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A trip to cathedral country....
Answer me this. Why on earth do we seem to play a far better game away from home? Of course, being the Trophy there was no chance of us getting a home draw, but it’s it about time we came out of the hat/bag/velvet glove first? Never mind, at least we got to play at what appeared to be a half finished version of Hednesford’s ground and the good men of Salisbury City even opened the bar up for us at 1:15pm. That has to be the earliest I’ve arrived at an away game since the Ryman League!
Anyway, a couple of pints and a sausage and chips later it was time for kick-off and the usual end-changing ceremony before settling down to a confident display from the boys in Amber & Chocolate, so much so that the referee (one of those incessantly smiling, smug types) even had time for some banter with the travelling U’s. When returning the ball for a free-kick, the man in black exclaimed, “That’s the best ball to feet this afternoon!” My how we laughed. This comical moment was actually eclipsed later in the game when their lard-arse of a central defender had the gaul to berate their goalkeeper for his own lack of pace! Has to be the first time I’ve ever heard Mark Frake stick up for an opposing ‘keeper! Nearly as funny as Nko giving it the clenched-fist celebration as he ran onto the ball BEFORE making it 3-1. That could have gone horribly wrong.
Still, even at 2-1 I wasn’t bothered, as we always looked dangerous. The highlight of the whole afternoon for me was Keith Rowland’s goal - a great instinctive run across the first defender to nip in at the near post. Just goes to prove what a good footballing brain the man has. For those of you who continue to think he’s crap, make a point of watching his movement off the ball. Possibly the best at the club.
Saturday also gave us a decent chance to look at Joe Baker. He was pretty unlucky with that effort late on. Shame he’s also knee high to a grasshopper, but clearly has potential.
Oh one last thing. Their skipper, Mr Chalk, should have been drug-tested before the match. We spotted him in the bar before the game downing cans of Red Bull. That must have been where he got all the energy from, especially at his age!
Here’s looking forward to Saturday and that early start for the coach to Morecambe .......not!
Amber