1969 - Took up fox hunting at ancestral estate. Excelled at it.
1977 - Left home to tour Africa and learn how to hunt big game. Survived attack by a cape buffalo.
1979 - Took my first elephant in Southern Mozambique.
1980 - Was initiated into the Shangaan tribe as an apprentice tracker after saving the life of a Shangaan child from a stampeding bull elephant.
1982 - Lectured the conference circuit on the many Shangaan tracking techniques I learned, as well as unique techniques I developed.
1983 - Employed by Mozambican government. (My response to innuendo about this relationship.)
1985 - Left Mozambique for China.
1986 - Tracked specimen of a rare, unidentified species of giant salamander in Southern China. Was significantly larger than A. davidianus of central China, close to two metres in length. It eluded capture. Proposed it be named Andrias stubbingwickei.
1987 - Took time off to live with the Komodo dragons of Indonesia, gaining their trust and learning their ways. Fascinating predators, Komodo dragons.
1989 - Served as tracker for Chinese scientific expedition studying snow leopards in Tibet. Had chance encounter with what I now believe to have been a yeti.
1990 - Tracked migoi in Bhutan. Nothing conclusive found. Maybe the bloody things can turn invisible!
1991 - At the request of the Indian government, tracked and put down a man eating tiger that was plaguing a village in the district of Chatra in Jharkhand.
1992 - Took up the sport of crocodile wrestling on the Ganges. Won many trophies.
1993 - Toured the Americas. Tracked pumas in the Andes, jaguars in the Amazon, grizzlies in Alaska and rock octopods in the Cascades.
1995 - Moved business headquarters to London.
1996 - Hired by the Department of Zoology at the University of Oxford to investigated reports of giant panther-like cat in Northumberland. Findings inconclusive.
1997 - Tracked and recovered orang-utan that was terrorising the streets of Paris. Returned it safely to Ménagerie du Jardin des Plantes whence it escaped.
1999 - Trained computer-programmer survivalists in the ways of the hunt. Those pallid wankers would've been doomed had the Y2K disaster come to pass.
2000 - Hosted BBC reality programme ‘The Most Dangerous Game Show’, unaired due to creative differences and legal problems.
2002 - Led expedition into the Congo to examine rumour of living dinosaur. Found nothing but forest elephants. (My response to vicious lies being spread about this expedition.)
2003 - Tracked polar bears across the Arctic. Discovered tantalizing evidence of gigantic polar bear cryptid that the Eskimos call the qoqogaq. Is it a true polar bear or could it be related to the Siberian irkuiem? I'll leave that question to the taxonomists.
2004 - Searched the wilds of Brazil for living giant ground sloths, known locally as the Mapinguari. Slow, but rumoured to be deadly.
2005 - Will serve as tracker on a scientific expedition to Africa to survey bat populations.
