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I hold by breath, there's a step on the stair
I can't be sure, is there somebody there?
I locked the door, I took out the key,
Was that a sound, or was it just me?
I close my eyes, pretend I'm not here,
I try to keep still but I'm shaking with fear.
I hold my breath and listen some more,
The sound is closer, it's behind the door.
The noise as it opens freezes my soul,
The safety of my room flees out of the hole.
A shadow blocks the light, filling my room,
It covers my bed like a shroud in a tomb.
I want to scream, but fear fills my throat,
I hear myself screaming, yet don't utter a note.
I want to run, I want to hide
I want to stand up to the incoming tide.
He stands so close, I know that he?s here
He stands so close, I feel he is near
His smell chokes as he leans over me
His heat imprisons all that is free.
His laugh cuts a tear in my eye,
His scorn, his ridicule as he watches me cry
His power dissolves my will to live
I plead mercy, he has none to give.
I open my eyes to face him again,
Will it end...If so, please when
My eyes search around, he is not there
I left him waiting for another nightmare.
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Outside the ground is freezing
Slippery with sleet
Inside I’m safe and warm
With slippers on my feet
Outside the men are screaming
Fighting for stock to buy
Inside there’s just a soft purr
Of the machine making my clothes dry
Outside there’s bullets flying
Taking lives both young and old
Inside I’m looking at photos
Of boys now too big to be told
Outside a drug is being injected
Into a young and waiflike arm
Inside I’m drinking another coffee
And caressing the warmth in my palm
Outside a newborn baby
Is cast aside as its not a boy
Inside I’m sorting through jigsaws
And the latest thrown down toy
Outside there’s filth and hunger
Deceit, Envy and war
Inside there’s a shelf to dust
And still time to vacuum the floor
Outside stays outside
I can stay safe inside instead
But whilst it stays outside
It still gets inside my head
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You make me laugh,
You make me cry,
You make me shout,
You make me sigh,
You make me work,
You make me play,
You make my night,
You make my day,
You make me smile,
You make me frown,
You lift me up,
When I am down,
But most of all,
What you do for me,
Is to make me love you,
Unconditionally.
for Leon, my 5 year old son |
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Bare arm
A clean white canvas
Steel blade
To draw with
Warm blood
Paints the image
Her life
Sold to a collector
Her death
Filed
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Close my eyes, and there you are
Im here
Take a knife to an unhealed scar
I'm here to heal
Run the blade across naked skin
Only as a pleasure
Tear it open and let yourself in
Never fear
Suffocated with the smell of fear
No fear Im here
Don't scream ..he might hear
Im there to hold you
Tears blind but not from sight
Wipe away your tears
Oh god...I cant sleep at night
Im always there
Running terrified lying still
Holding you
Evil winning breaks the will
Caressing you
Turn away turn to face
With you
Cant hide he's taken every place
Except here with me
Beg for solitude beg for calm
Its History
Offered anger given harm
No Anger only calm
Counting seconds until its light
Count the hours of a peaceful night
Oh god...I cant sleep at night
You will with me over time
Exhaustion devours every bone
Let me take on the load
Stay awake you're not alone
With me you're in a safe zone
Invading dreams sinister breathe
An invading warmth a safe zone
Stealing life giving death
Building a life a new breath
Cry while I sleep cry when I wake
Not anymore
Searching the dream he cannot break
A dream you have found
Too ill to argue, too tired to fight
No more fights no more conflict
Oh god..I can't sleep at night
No need to fight it
Please leave me alone, you won the war
The battles won
Walk away from my nights, can't take any more
Im here for you your nights secure
Breaking my spirit have you no guilt
Forget the guilt there is none
Are you awaiting blood for the tears you have spilt
No blood to be spilt no tears in your eyes
Struggle to remember the good times we had
Times to remember for your kids time
Because you are filling my dreams with everything bad
No need anymore for feeling sad
I'm begging you now to put things right
No need for him we will be alright
Please ??.let me sleep at night
I'm with you
Revised by Harry
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Hide the sun with a cloud
Dry the freshness from the showers
Cover my heart with a shroud
Dull the colour from the flowers
Turn sour everything tasting sweet
Dull brightness from the rainbow
Silence the music, stifle the beat
Prove wrong all I know
Confuse all the paths with a map
Breathe into the air only pollution
Drown all the seas opening a tap
Find only doubt, no solution
Flood open eyes with tears
Tame the beauty of the wild
Fill hopeful dreams with fears
Still the play of every child
Break the strength of every man
Bring chaos where there's calm
Turn all liberties into a ban
Scare safety into harm
Drive the insane over the brink
Lose everyone that's found
Break the chain from every link
Burst silence with corruptive sound
Close doors before they open
Finish a new day before it awakes
Turn all that is now into when?
Paint all that is genuine to fakes
Stop the heart from beating a life
Reward the rich with poverty
Plague disease on a surgeons knife
Shut the eyes on all that can see
Throw shivers of cold on everything hot
Hide discoveries with shame
Place a wreath over a babies cot
Try the innocent with blame
Touch my fingers until they go numb
Fill my ears with a scream that dies
Still my mouth with a word that is dumb
Blind everything reaching my eyes
Stop my lungs from breathing in air
Paralyze my limbs from moving around
Shed my skin from my body to wear
Bury all I have grown underground
For you have control over my heart
And my perception of life without you
If you decided to live apart
Then all I have said I'd want true
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