Dear anonymous slist poster searching for love: Your title was catchy. We was intrigued. I would like to respond to your post, and provide you with a little insight as to my very own personal reaction to your your own ad. I thought your preamble was nice, before you launched into a laundry list of what you would like in a woman: x. Will be on time or will phone when she's be late -- Okay. horny girl in Cannon Beach That's reasonable. Sounds great. x. Will fall asleep during my arms as I read reports to her - Sounds somewhat romantic. Can I choose a story? x. Will let me spoon and rock her so that you can sleep - Spooning sounds good, but I think the keep going time I was rocked to sleep I was in diapers. x. Will spend a whole day perusing book stores searching for anything - Sure! x. May trust my judgment - Is definitely this a pre-requisite? 'Cause I gotta become familiar with you a little before I actually trust your judgement. I know not many people who's judgement I have faith in entirely. x. Will trust me to inform her the truth when she asks so how exactly does this look? - Oh expensive. I get the feeling you do not like to play that very little bullshit game. most men really don't. Do you expect me to change my outfit you will be approve of it? Would you actually change yours, if you trusted me to grant an honest opinion? I have got a feeling you would pull through that little "accept me as i am" card. x. Will allowed me to make her soup when nancy sick - You betcha. Ask me why this a problem? It's exclusively common courtesy, and I would do precisely the same for you. x. Will allowed me to give her my jacket when nancy cold - Aww. Sweet. I trust you are likely to tell me the truth whenever i ask you how it appearance on me. x. Will allowed me to brush and pull her tresses - mmmmkay. so far, So i am getting read stories, being rocked so that you can sleep, being told what looks good on me or notand now you will be brushing my hairwill my tresses be getting pulled because you hoping put pigtails on me? In my opinion you secretly want a little princess x. Will ask my view on makeup and clothes- You got it, I'll ask, but I'm needs to not trust your judgement( oops. solely screwed up request x. ) why you gotta be so choosy on how I present myself? Presently sure you don't want some sort of daughter? Hey, look, whatever dude, lots of guys of slist usually are into that. they are just prepared to buy it. x. Will entertain this friends- Fer sure! Its your win-win situation! Your friends usually are gonna LOVE me, since you may have personally molded me into your version of dream girl fembot. Could there really be a pole that I show up on? Or do I just wear a boyfriend-approved apron and serve nachos and beer while y'all are playing online games? Hey, can my friends are available over? x. Will have a life from the me- I guess that the answers my question from x. x. Will allowed me to be proud of her- When i, for the life of everyone, don't understand how this invariably is an issue. Did you manage to damage some girls self-esteem a great deal of that she hated herself? fifteen. Will flirt with others but leave with me- In which, you can rub it into each alternate guys face that this dreamgirl fembot is the best bitch. x. Will appreciate my off kilter meaning of humor- Does this mean there are actually a funny way to enlighten me I look fat around my jeans? Laughter heals all. x. Will let me kiss her just exactly how I want to- Yeah, I agree there's give-and take up any physical relationship. What if states it all kiss doesn't turn me relating to? x. Will be strong enough to stand on her behalf own yet let me help take of her- I'm strong enough to stand by myself. Good career, financially stable, a supportive network of best freinds and family. I think what you really intended to say was " Will possibly be strong enough to stand on her own, but let me tell her what you can do. " Good luck with of which. x. Will teach me anything I don't know- Easy. Did you realise Lorne Greene had one regarding his nipples bitten off by simply an Alligator? Whew. I surpassed! x. Will let me help make her dinner- Yup. I think provide share that chore, actually. My oh my, you mean you wanted to undertake it occasionally? I guess I'm making it in most cases x. Will enjoy quiet amount of time in the evenings with me- Certainly. As long as I'm using boyfriend approved clothes and makeup, and not too exhausted by making dinner, standing on by myself, and entertaining your friends. x. Will think of me when she touches herself- Now you must control how I masturbate? Christ. I can only promise you that I'll think of you in most cases, because I've had this one fantasy I have already been furiously rubbing the pink to approximately five years. damn. Okay, I'll give the lot up, as long as you offer to censor your random sexy thoughts at the same time. x. Will speak highly of me their am not around- Insecure very much? x Will slow dance by himself to Classic Motown songs- I'll do that! Yay me! x Encourage my compliments with grace- The reason the hell wouldn't I? They sound like they should be few and far relating to. x Will do what she chooses not any alternative people say she should- Absolutely everyone except you, of course. Considering that I trust your judgement, check out? x. Will have a between being selfless and selfish- There's no doubt that I know what you are saying here. I believe that's referred to as normal. I'm down with in which. Ditto. x. Will let everyone hold her hand when walking- For sure. That's sweet. Wait a small. does it have to be EVERYDAY? x. Will let me have sex to her- Check. x. Will allowed me to have sex with her- Make sure. x. Will let me fuck her- I see we certainly have found some common ground. I adore fucking. x. Will allowed me to show her the face of God- Okay, what? Yer close buddies with GOD? Dammit all, have you thought to ask him to make which you woman, then? Just kidding. I've met the whole "face of God' thing is probably a figure of speech. Does this have anything about all the lovemakingsexfucking talk? Sounds a wee bit narcissisticthe only thing I can also offer you is to require a journey of self-exploration together. I'm assuming that just doesn't cut the item. x. Will understand a correct artist- Oh shit. That means I shall be supporting us. Glad I'm a woman that can stand by myself, and piggy-back the guy who would like to help take care of everybody. x. Will let me become me- Hmm. Does that mean I should accept the actual fact your crusty socks and paint soaked clothes can be tossed all over the household? Can I be me? Some have taken a rather dim view of my acrid wit year after year. but you will love me in my opinion, right? x. Will have very little to no expectations of me- Right, here's the kicker. This really is what got me going within this. So far, I count x expectations you possess of me, and we haven't finished going through your personal requests. This doesn't seem extremely fair. Is this your off-kilter hilarity shining through? x. Will appreciate that love the little things in life- As does a person dammit, but some things expense money. Just because your a great artist, and can apparently show me the facial skin of God does not mean I'll foot the bill ALL any time. x. Will never drive drunk- Simply no shit. That's pretty serious, and I am sorry for you if you've ever lost anybody due to another woman's stupidity. x. Will look me while in the eye when she says Everyone loves you- You have been humiliated to by someone. Again, I find myself sorry for you. x. Definitely will compliment other women that glimpse good- Yes, I appreciate natural beauty. However, that does not mean I need a threesome. Nor does it mean I can tolerate you constantly checking out other women opposite me. You only think of me while you jerk off, right? Hypocrite. x. Will delight in a night at the theatre or perhaps ho down equally- I think that's whats considered a Freudian ease, right there. Refer to x. x. Will encourage me to attain the impossible- Oh, for fucks sakes. To begin with, you want to be our daddy, and now I'm required to mother you. Hey, I'm all of for pursuing dreams, but for everybody who is screwing up my financial safety measures while chasing down your objectives, I will seriously have to help kick your ass. Who the hell presently? Richard Heene? x. Will let me adore her- If you happen to find a woman like the, I will be the to begin with in line to adore the woman. x. Will share her aspirations with me- Okay, so lets mean x here. Will you encourage me to undertake the impossible, or am I simple permitted to share my dreams, and work anchor while you pursue your site? x. Will be proud of me- There's no doubt that its natural to be happy with the person you love. I just also think its natural to help love someone unconditionally. It is just your asking for a lot instead of really giving a lot often. x. Will know I do all these things and even more for her- Pardon me to get nit-picky here, but out of your above list of x stuff, I see only five or six where you're going to be willing to do anything. Earnestly, how hard is it to "let you be satisfied with me? " The rest of your list is not-so-clever demands. It is false advertising, my friend. x. Will appreciate that I took plenty of time to write this- Look during that. You are already interested in applause. because you wrote an affordable ad, outlining all the things you choose in a woman. People achieve those things every damn day. I have got a feeling that if I were ever in the long term relationship with anyone, I'd constantly be reminded of how made me soup back during the past year when I was down by means of HxNx. Best of luck in the search for love and well-being.