The Most Annoying Website EVER! / Ways to annoy people

Ways to annoy people

 By Nick Murdoch and Anthony Mortimer

wELCOME TO ONE OF THE MOST annoying WEBSITES ever1. tRY TO IGNORE THE BACKGROUND MUSIC 9OR TURN OFF THE SOUND10 AND THE BACKGROUND PICTURE AND READ THE BEST WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE.

Sorry, your browser does not support thisIf the background sound does not work, try here instead. This is the Widget Tune.

iF you HAVE ANY OTHER IDEAS, E-mAiL mE bELoW, tHANKS;

mailto:nick_murdoch@hotmail.com

CONTENTS:

THE MOST ANNOYING THINGS EVER!

TOP 10 ANNOYING SONGS TO SING / HUM FOR NO REASON

WAYS TO ANNOY SMALL PEOPLE

 

THE MOST ANNOYING THINGS EVER!

OK, some of these we have blatantly taken from other sites, however some of these we made up ourselves, and are 100% original!

We cannot take responsibility for any trouble this may cause you with other people:

Here we go then...

  1. NEW! Flick peoples ear-lobes, and chant "Flick the Jellies!"
  2. Copy IE's screen saying 'webpage not available offline' – this will confuse people who have IE as well as those who don't!
  3. Add a * to part of your document to indicate a footnote – but don't put the footnote in!
  4. Insist on perfecting your pig impression
  5. Put broken links on your webpage – the more you have, the more people will think that it's their software!
  6. Leave the photocopier set to enlarge max, extra dark, 99 copies.
  7. Sit in your front garden pointing a hairdryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  8. If you have a glass eye, tap it with your pen while you talk to others.
  9. Sing along at the opera.
  10. Insist on keeping your wind-wipers on all the time "to stop them rusting".
  11. Reply to every statement someone says with "that's what you think".
  12. Make Modem/Fax/Printer noises.
  13. Send irrelevant material off the Internet to all your mates.
  14. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  15. Finish all your sentences with the phrase "in accordance with the prophecy," or any other similar.
  16. To end a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears, and yell, "I can't hear you!" Several times.
  17. Dissemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
  18. Yell random numbers when someone is counting.
  19. Don't write any spaces and say that your spacebar is broken.
  20. Adjust the tint on the TV so everything is a shade of green and insist that you like it that way.
  21. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
  22. Publicly investigate how slowly you can make croaking sounds.
  23. Beep and wave to strangers in your car.
  24. Yell "Stop Thief!" at random people in a shopping centre (make sure there aren't any police officers about!!).
  25. Call someone over to your car as if you are asking for directions. When they get there, put on a funny voice and tell them "we iz nuttas!".
  26. Refuse to be seated at a restaurant, and then eat all the complementary mints by the till.
  27. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE. or only in lowercase. oR TOGGLE CASE, AND SAY YOUR CAPS LOCK IS LOCKED on.
  28. Forget a bullet point (see previous)
  29. Dont use punctuation
  30. Buy a load of traffic cones and divert the whole road.
  31. Repeat this several times: "Did you hear that?", "What", "Never mind, it's gone now".
  32. Skip instead of walking.
  33. Tap an annoying tune with a pen on your teeth, and just before you finish, say, "No, wait, I messed it up", and repeat it.
  34. Ask people what gender they are.
  35. While talking (or even listening), occasionally bob your head up and down.
  36. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
  37. Ask your friends mysterious questions and scribble the answers in a notebook. Mutter something about psychological profiles.
  38. Tell your friend one week in advance that you can't go to their party because you're not in the mood.
  39. E-mail this page to everyone you know, and send it back twice with an 'oops' message if they ask you not to send things like that.
  40. Stare constantly at one point on a person's face and when they ask you 'what' just say "nothing" and keep on looking at it.
  41. Break into hysterics half way through telling a joke and never get round to finishing it.
  42. Wait five minutes before laughing at a joke.
  43. Change the subject halfway through a sentence.
  44. Put 'cannot load' picture placeholders on your website.
  45. Hum while you eat.
  46. Start singing Christmas songs in the middle of summer.
  47. Use cockney rhyming slang in American chat rooms (click here for a cockney dictionary site)
  48. Every time you are complemented answer "don't criticize me!"
  49. Keep on trying to open doors the wrong way and pretend to get angry about it.
  50. Pretend that your arm has turned into jelly and loose all control of it, wildly swinging it around. Say its gone numb.
  51. Sing along to advert theme tunes.
  52. Switch between the conversation you're in and a made-up one, with 'anyway' separating them.
  53. Puto Spanisho/Italiano endings on all-a your wordsa.
  54. Get your foreign languages muddled up (preferably a romance language with German)
  55. Send e-mail with white text and a color background to someone with web-based e-mail - they can't see backgrounds so they won't be able to see the text!

 VOTE YOUR FAVORATE OR SUGGEST ANY NEW IDEAS BY MAILING ME!

TOP TEN MOST ANNOYING SONGS TO SING / HUM FOR NO REASON

(in no particular order)

Please don't be offended if you like or know (or are) the artists for these songs.

  1. Barbie Girl by Aqua (or anything by Aqua)
  2. The background music for 'Who Wants to be A Millionaire?' (submitted by Michael Wlasichuk, wlasichuk@home.com)
  3. Phenomenon
  4. The Great Escape theme
  5. Star Wars theme
  6. Mr. Blobby Song
  7. The tune playing at the moment (it's called the WIDGET TUNE)
  8. Any songs with synthesied voices (ie Eiffel 65).
  9. Nursery Rhymes.
  10. Teletubbies.

 

WAYS TO ANNOY SMALL PEOPLE

I know a couple of small people - they know who they are! Here's how we annoy them, so you can too! Don't forget to vote on the form in the title section!

  1. Write their name in really small letters (I can't do smaller than that on a web page but you can in your documents!)
  2. Ignore them for a few seconds and then when they say something, look under the table
  3. Ask them if they've joined the under 12's football team yet
  4. Compare their height to year 7's (Year 7 in England = First years in USA High school)
  5. Call them 'Yoda' or one of the Teletubbies.
  6. Ask them what the weather is like "down there"
  7. Pretend they've just disappeared and start to look under chairs etc for them.

hits!

That's it for now - any more just e-mail me – click here.