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Steph&Max

A Story of Love

Angela J

[Follows on from episode 4204, shown in the UK on Thurs 1st May]

EPISODE 1

It's the day before Steph leaves with Alex for her trip around Australia and Steph, family and friends are at Lou's Pub for a good-bye drink.

Max was serving at the bar.

'Hi Max,' said Stephanie.

'Hi,' he replied meekly.

'So tomorrow's the big day then. When're you leaving?'

'Oh, Alex is coming to mine at about seven tomorrow morning and then we're heading straight off. I can't wait to see everything.' This was killing Max. Steph was leaving and leaving with Alex. He knew how great it was to travel around Australia. All the moments she would be sharing with Alex. He knew he'd lost her forever. A trip like that could only bring two people closer together.

'Well I hope you have a great time,' said Max. He really did want her to have a great time, he wanted her to see all the beautiful things that he'd experienced when he toured Australia, but he wanted her to see them with him. It was cutting him up inside.

'So what are you having?'

'I'll have five pints and two OJ's please.'

'They're not making you pay for the drinks are they?'

'No, dad actually opened his wallet for once.' Max feigned laughter.

Steph watched as Max was getting her drinks. She knew she still felt something for him but she wasn't quite sure what the feeling was. Was it regret? She knew she had actually loved him at one point and had felt great disappointment when she thought he was with Joanne. However, it was clear that there had been nothing between them. Max hadn't wanted to have a relationship with her and she wondered what would have happened if she'd actually told him that day how she really felt for him instead of asking out Alex. Alex was great but Max was, well she just couldn't put her finger on it. She really didn't know how Max felt about her. At one time she'd thought he really liked her but he had never said anything, although he always seemed a lot sadder since she'd started seeing Alex. She missed Max's company. They'd had fun watching sports together at his house, but ever since Alex had come on the scene it had been difficult to talk to him.

'Here you go,' said Max as he handed her the tray of drinks.

'Thanks Max.'

She turned away to give the drinks to her family.

Max watched on as Steph discussed her trip with her family and friends. He felt sad, he felt regret, and also he felt angry. If he'd told her how he felt sooner, would things be completely different? Probably not, he told himself. If she'd felt the way about him as he felt about her then she wouldn't have started seeing Alex. It just wasn't meant to be.

As the day drew on Max felt worse and worse. There were butterflies in his stomach and it was all he could do to keep himself together. He started slamming drinks down on the bar when he was serving, often splashing beer all over the bar, and later on he dropped a glass on the floor whilst his mind was elsewhere. Rosie had witnessed all this and couldn't help but witness it with sadness. She'd never been close to him before and had never felt as much for him as she did now. She watched as he stooped to pick up the shards of glass form the floor, cutting himself as he did so.

'Damn,' he muttered to himself. The cut hurt but it also made him feel better. It was like an expression of the wound he felt inside. It was something tangible. He went to the office behind the bar to run it under the tap. He entered the office but didn't care about the cut. Instead he slumped in Lou's chair, head in hands, deep in thought.

Rosie entered the office and Max sprung up and made his way to the sink.

'Max?'

'Yes Mum?'

'Are you alright?'

'Yeah, it's just a small cut, nothing to worry about.' Rosie noticed how distant he sounded.

'Darling, you know what I mean.' He knew what she was getting at. She was the only person who knew how deeply he felt about Steph. He had told her and it was the closest he'd felt to her for a long time.

'Yes Mum, I'm perfectly fine,' he said in a depressed voice. Rosie waited; she knew he'd tell her the truth eventually.

'Okay Mum, I'm not fine, I feel absolutely terrible, I feel sick, and I really feel like breaking down and crying. It's just so hard to see her slipping away. You think I'd be used to it by now, but it still hurts.'

'I know it does dear.'

'Are you sure you two haven’t a chance? Why don't you tell her how you feel? There's nothing to lose. If she doesn't feel the same she can still leave with Alex, and if she does then you can be together.'

'She'd only hate me for saying it Mum, I can't tell her.'

'Okay, love, you know what's best. I'm sure.' He struggled to put a plaster on his cut.

'Here let me do it.'

'Thanks Mum.'

'Are you done in there? I could do with some help out here,' called Lou through the office door. Max and Rosie left the office and returned to the bar.

'Max you look really pale,' she said to him. 'Are you sure you can keep working? You don't want to have any more accidents.'

'Mum, I'll be fine,' he replied to her, though not believing it himself.

'I think it's best if you leave, you don't need to stay here. Get some fresh air and have a good cry, it'll make you feel better.'

'Lou needs me.'

'Lou, Max isn't feeling very well. You can spare him can't you?'

'I'm a bit run off my feet', he told Rosie.

'Strewth, you do look pale,' he said as he turned to Max. He looked at Max and then looked at Steph and understood it all. He'd been in love before and knew what it could do to someone.

'Yeah, look you get off home. I can manage by myself.'

'Thanks mate,' replied Max.

While this had been going on Steph had been watching, and though she couldn’t hear what had been said, she saw how ill Max looked and how concerned Rosie was. She didn't feel all that great herself, but she felt a rush of concern for him.

Rosie made her way to the door and Max followed. Suddenly remembering that it could be the last time he saw Steph, the LAST time, he thought he'd better say goodbye before she left, he didn't want to look like he didn't value her as a friend. He made his way to her and she watched him move towards her. She suddenly felt really sick inside but she didn't know why.

'Hey Steph,' he said swallowing hard. 'I'm gonna head off so I just wanted to say that I hope you have a great time and I wish you all the best.' He looked terrible.

'Thanks Max, and look, I hope everything goes great for you too,' she said to him looking deeply at him and realising that he was avoiding eye contact with her.

'Give my love to Summer and Boyd as well won't you.'

'Yeah, sure.' She felt the urge to give him a hug like they used to share before. A handshake would be so distant but would be suitable as she felt that lately there had been a wall between the two of them. She gave him a big hug, which just made each of them feel even worse. It seemed like an age that they were together, neither one of them wanting to let go of, to lose, the other one. They both felt that this was the last time that they'd see each other, that they'd get to touch one another. Steph breathed in, taking in the scent of Max, wishing that it would stay with her forever. He did the same, he recognised the scent of the perfume that he'd given her, which she'd worn ever since. He wanted to keep the smell of her with him forever. At last they parted. On Max's face was a look of desolation. As he turned to Rosie she saw this and it pained her deeply. Her son had already loved and lost and now it had happened again. She felt a deep love for him like she'd never experienced before. She wished that he didn't feel so deeply, that he didn't fall so much in love with others. But, at the same time she loved him for how much he could feel for someone and how much he could hurt. She also felt a slight pang of jealousy, she had never meant anything close to as much to him as others had and she blamed herself. She cursed herself for not being there for him.

'Max,' said Steph as he was walking away. He turned.

'Yeah?'

'Look, I'll see you soon,' she said to him, wanting to reassure herself that this wouldn't be the last time she would see him.

'Yeah,' he said managing a weak smile, as he turned and left the pub.

Steph sat there unsure of what she was feeling. She felt that she'd lost someone really close and it made her feel terrible. Across her face was a look of great melancholy. Libby noticed this and knew what it meant. Her friend loved Max and the love was tearing her up inside. She knew that Steph liked Max but she'd never known quite how much until now. There was something in it that she recognised as having felt when she'd lost Drew and she knew how bad it felt. She went up to her friend and gave her a great hug. Steph could tell that her friend knew how she was feeling and she was grateful to be held whilst tears poured from her eyes, she felt wretched.

'I love him, Lib.'

'I know you do.'

'Why don't you just tell him?'

'He doesn't feel the same way, he can't do. I couldn't go through it again. It just hurts so much when they leave. This would be even worse. I don't think I've ever felt this way about anyone before.'

'Oh, Steph.' They stayed locked together for a long time. Steph was glad that she had Libby to share this with. The pain would have been so much greater if she'd had to keep it bottled up inside, hiding it from everyone.

EPISODE 2

After the good-bye drink at Lou’s Pub and saying farewell to Max, Steph and family are back at no. 26.

Steph sat on the floor of her room trying to pack her bag for tomorrow. Things were not going well. Nothing was folded right and she was wondering how on earth she could fit everything in. She was frustrated. She got up off the floor and lay on her bed, and stared at the ceiling. She couldn’t be bothered packing. Why was it always so difficult? She also didn’t want to pack either. If she packed she knew she would be leaving. ‘Steph,’ she thought, ‘why do you always get yourself into these situations.’ She got up from the bed and left the room, she had to get out of there, she needed a change of scenery, she needed to go somewhere to take her mind off Max and how miserable she felt.

She joined her family who were watching a game show in the living room. When Joe saw Steph come into the room he shifted up on the couch to let her sit down.

‘Hey, are you all packed then? Ready to run off and leave me with this lot?’ asked Joe, he was going to miss her.

‘Well, not quite. I was on the verge of ripping all my clothes up into shreds. I hate packing.’

‘I’m gonna miss you y’know,’ said Joe putting his arm around her.

‘I know Dad.’

As everyone sat there watching the TV, Steph got more and more fidgety. She couldn’t watch it at all. She was so fed up and she felt really claustrophobic. She got up off the couch.

‘I think I’m gonna go for a walk. I need some air.’

‘At this time love?’ replied Lyn. ‘It’s almost ten-thirty. And you’re nowhere near being packed. I looked in your room, your bag’s practically empty.’

‘I know Mum. I just want to take a last walk around the neighbourhood, I’m not gonna see it for quite a while, am I?’ The thought of it made her feel sick, she wouldn’t see Max for a long time, or hear him, or speak to him. ‘Maybe it’s best that way,’ she told herself, ‘some distance between us might help me to get over him,’ though she doubted its truth. She didn’t want to get over him; she wanted to be with him. The most awful thought crept into her mind, ‘what if I never see him again? What if he’s left Erinsborough by the time I get back?’ She felt like she was going to vomit. She picked up a sweater and headed towards the door.

‘Is that all your wearing love? You’ll catch your death,’ said Lyn.

‘I’ll be all right once I start walking. Anyway, I’m packing everything else.’

‘Fair enough, love, don’t be gone too long will you?’

‘No, mum,’ replied Steph, feigning amusement at her mothers worrying.

She set off walking down the street thinking only of Max. She let herself daydream about all the wonderful sunsets and sights that he’d told her about. Only she wasn’t picturing them with Alex, she hadn’t so much as thought of Alex all day, she was picturing them with Max. It was late afternoon, the sky was pink and gold, and they were sat on a beach. Max had his arm around her, and they were watching, and listening to, the waves roll in and out. Apart from that it was silent, they didn’t make a sound, but they were perfectly happy, just being close to one another, just being together. She let out a long sigh. Anyone hearing it would have felt sad for it spoke of grief, of loss, of unrequited love, of a perfect moment, of perfect happiness that would never be. Tears welled up in her eyes. She reached Lassiters Lake and sat down, racked with grief. She was crying so hard that her whole body shook and it hurt so much inside.

She’d been sat there for half an hour. The tears had finally stopped but her eyes felt puffy and her throat was sore. She’d spent the last fifteen minutes staring out over the lake, alone with her thoughts, in the silence of the night. She was so cold and as she stood up she winced with pain, she still felt sore inside. She headed back home. Although she felt sad, she felt better for letting out some of the feelings she’d had bottled up inside her since agreeing to the trip. As she entered Ramsey Street she crossed to the side of the street opposite her house. She’d walk past Max’s house just one more time.

As she approached no. 32 she could see the figure of a man sat on the step, hunched over and deep in thought. She knew it was Max.

Max had been sat on the step for the last twenty minutes. Cold had crept into his thighs from the stone but he hardly noticed. He was thinking about how sad he had felt when he had lost his wife and how sad he felt again now that he was losing Steph. He didn’t love Steph as much as he had done his wife when she died but he knew that if he was with her he eventually would. He knew that he’d never forget his wife but at he same time knew he could love someone just as much, he’d thought it impossible before, but Steph had shown him that he could love again. He knew his wife would have liked Steph, even though they were two completely different people, his daughter thought so too. Ever since he’d left the pub he felt that a piece of him had been lost and now things just didn’t seem to fit. He’d been distant all evening, but the kids had been supportive, they knew why. They could see how much he was going to miss her, he hadn’t snapped at them like he usually did when he was feeling bad, he’d just sat there in silence, staring into space, they’d seen him do a similar thing after their mother had died. He’d been crying, tears had run slowly down his face, his eyes felt a little sore.

‘Max?’ he heard Steph’s voice calling to him. He ignored it, thinking he had imagined it. Steph moved nearer.

‘Max?’ she said again. He lifted his head up and saw her shivering in the moonlight.

‘Steph,’ he said in a shocked voice. ‘What are you… uh… hi.’

‘I’ve just been for a walk, taking one last look around Erinsborough.’

‘Yeah, of course.’ She moved towards him and sat down next to him on the step. He could see she’d been crying, as her eyes were puffy. She thought his eyes looked a little bloodshot, though it was difficult to tell in the darkness.

‘So what are you doing out here then, Max Hoyland, sitting in the dark on a cold, hard step?’ she asked.

‘Oh I was just getting some air.’ She smiled. He could feel her upper arm against his and it was killing him.

‘It’s freezing out here,’ she said to him. He instinctively put his arm around her. It felt so good to be in his embrace and she wished she could stay in it forever. They sat there for ten minutes, deep in thought, neither one of them wanting to let go of the other. Max felt he should say something but he knew that whatever she said would hurt him.

‘So are you looking forward to tomorrow?’ he asked her, knowing her reply would be painful.

‘Hmm,’ she replied, knowing that she wasn’t but not wanting him to know.

‘It should be good,’ he said to her after a minute.

‘Yeah she replied,’ lying. It was all getting too much for her. She edged slowly out of his embrace.

‘I’d better be getting back, early morning.’

‘Yeah sure,’ he replied, ‘and look, I hope it’s as good as you always dreamed it would be.’

‘Yeah,’ she replied, knowing that it wouldn’t. She started walking away.

‘I’ll miss you Steph.’ She didn’t turn around as tears welled up in her eyes.

‘I’ll miss you too,’ she replied, the words not coming close to expressing what she really felt. Max watched on as she crossed the street and walked up to her house.

As she entered the house she could hear her mother’s voice.

‘Steph, where have you been? It’s after midnight. We were getting worried.’

‘Sorry, mum, I was just thinking and lost track of the time.’

‘You’ve still got to finish packing.’

‘I know Mum,’ not knowing how she could bring herself to do such a thing.

‘You’re not having second thoughts are you?’

‘Of course not mum,’ she really believed some time away from Max would do her good.

‘Look, love, I packed most of you’re bag for you, I know you weren’t getting anywhere with it. There’s still a few bits left, I didn’t know where you’d want them.’

‘Thanks.’ So it was really going to happen. Her all-time dream would come true. She never thought that it would make her feel so bad.

EPISODE 3

It’s about half-past-seven in the morning on the next day and Steph is ready to meet Alex for the trip around Australia.

Steph, Lyn and Joe left the house carrying Steph’s bags.

‘What’ve you got in here, the kitchen sink?’ Joe asked Steph.

‘Oh just about,’ she replied.

The Kennedy’s came to join them, all still wearing pyjamas and dressing gowns.

‘Hi Steph, we thought we’d just pop ‘round to say goodbye,’ said Susan.

‘Yeah, I hope you have a great time. What an experience. Mind you, make sure your careful and don’t get into any accidents, you wouldn’t want to have to limp back to Erinsbourough,’ Karl joked.

‘Thanks Karl,’ replied Joe, ‘you really know how to make a bloke feel good about his daughter hiking around the middle of nowhere.’

‘I’m sure she’ll be all right. She’s got Alex to look after her anyway,’ said Susan. Lyn opened the boot of the car and Joe started putting Steph’s bags in.

‘Hi,’ said Libby to Steph, while Lyn, Joe, Susan and Karl continued their conversation. Steph managed a weak smile.

‘Are you sure you want to go? It’s not too late to back out.’

‘Yeah, I’m sure. I think a bit of distance might do me some good.’ Libby smiled, trying to reassure her that it would.

‘I’ll miss you y’know. I’ll be stuck watching TV with my parents every night.’

‘I’m sure you’ll cope,’ replied Steph. She looked over to Max’s house wondering if he’d come out to say goodbye. Libby followed her gaze. She felt sympathy for her friend.

‘Do you think he’ll come out?’ she asked.

‘No, we already said goodbye last night. He probably thinks there’s no point in doing it all over again,’ knowing who Libby was asking her about.

‘Are you sure there’s no chance of you two getting together? It seemed like he really liked you.’

‘Yeah, as a friend.’

‘Are you sure that’s all it is?’

‘If he loved me like I love him wouldn’t he have asked me to stay?’

‘Maybe he was waiting for you to say something. Anyway, you are going away with Alex. He probably thinks that’s who you want to be with.’

‘Isn’t it the one who’s staying that’s supposed to ask the other not to go?’

‘I thought you didn’t go in for tradition.’

‘Yeah, well. Our goodbye last night was kind of final.’

‘Hey, you two better finish gossiping or you’ll be late,’ called Joe.

‘Yes, dad,’ replied Steph, rolling her eyes.

‘I’m going to miss you,’ said Libby putting her arms around Steph, ‘and I hope everything works out for you.’

‘Yeah, same to you,’ replied Steph feeling a lump in her throat.’ They separated and Steph walked towards the car.

‘You better send me loads of postcards!’ called out Libby.

‘I will,’ replied Steph.

‘What are you looking at?’ asked Summer to Max, who was peeking through the window behind the curtains.’

‘Nothing. Well, actually, Steph’s about to leave.’

‘Aren’t you going to say goodbye to her?’

‘We’ve already said our farewells.’

‘Well, I’m going to go and say bye.’ Summer ran out of the house, wearing her school uniform, over to where Steph was standing.

‘Hi, I just wanted to say bye.’

‘Hey, Summer,’ said Steph, wondering if she’d just seen the curtains move at Max’s house. ‘Thanks for coming out to see me.’

‘I’m going to miss you lots.’

‘Thanks. I’m going to miss you too.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes, really.’

‘I thought Alex was going to pick you up.’

‘There’s been a change of plan. Steve’s picking up the van from the hire place at eight so I’m meeting them there.’

‘Oh right.’

‘Love, you’re going to be late,’ said Lyn.

‘Oh, yeah, I’d better go. Bye Summer,’ said Steph giving Summer a hug.

‘I hope you have a great time.’

‘Thanks,’ said Steph getting into the back of the car. Lyn and Joe were taking her to Alex.

‘Bye, good luck,’ called the Kennedy’s as Joe started the car. They headed back to their house.

Joe turned the key in the ignition but the engine didn’t start. He tried again and again.

‘Damn!’ he said.

‘What’s wrong?’ Lyn asked.

‘I don’t know. There’s enough petrol in it. There’s no reason why it shouldn’t start.’ He tried again but it was hopeless. Summer walked towards the door of the car where Steph was sitting. Steph wound down her window.

‘What’s wrong?’ asked Summer.

‘It looks like the car won’t start.’

‘Sorry,’ said Joe to Steph, ‘it doesn’t look like you’ll be going anywhere soon.’

‘My dad could give you a lift if you want. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.’

‘Oh, no, I don’t want to put him to any trouble,’ replied Steph, not knowing how she could cope being in a car with him.

‘No, really, it’ll be all right. He won’t mind.’

‘No, Summer. I’m sure I’ll manage to get there somehow.’

‘I really think you should ask him,’ said Joe. ‘The only other way you’re going to get there is by taxi and you’ll end up being late waiting for it.’ Steph felt that there was nothing she could say. Summer and Steph walked over to Max’s house.

Max had left the window when he saw Steph get into the car, he couldn’t watch her leave. He sat on the couch in a daze. So it had actually happened, he had let the love of his life leave without even trying to stop her. He would have to learn to live with that. He told himself that there wouldn’t have been any point in him revealing his feelings to her, as it wouldn’t have made a difference. Steph would still have left, she was with Alex now, and she’d have only disliked, or felt sympathy for, him if he had admitted his true feelings. He couldn’t stand the thought of her feeling pity for him or even worse hating him, especially if she thought he was attempting to stop her from pursuing her dream. The tears began to well up in his eyes whilst he reflected on how lonely he felt now that Steph had left. He had the kids, but the thought of not having Steph there to chat with, to watch sports with, to connect with, to touch, to hold, to feel, it was more than he could bear.

‘Dad,’ said Summer. Max was woken from his thoughts.

‘What is it?’ he asked without looking up.

‘Joe can’t get the car started so I said you could give Steph a lift.’ ‘What?’ he thought to himself and looked up, shocked. Steph was there smiling at him. ‘This can’t be happening,’ he thought to himself, ‘I can’t be the one to help her leave me. I can’t be the one to ruin my life.’

‘Hi, I’m sorry,’ said Steph, ‘look, if you can’t take me that’s fine, I can call a cab or something.’ Max couldn’t thing of an excuse; he couldn’t thing of any way to get out of it. Hoping she couldn’t see the tears in his eyes, he replied, trying to sound as normal as possible, he’d spent plenty of time perfecting the art,

‘Yeah, sure I can take you,’ suddenly remembering that he was supposed to be giving the kids a lift to school, ‘I’ll have to drop these two at school on the way, is that alright?’

‘Yeah, that’s fine,’ she told him, secretly hoping that he’d tell her that it was impossible, impossible because he loved her and wanted her to stay, but it wasn’t going to happen.

Max, Steph and the kids left the house. Max loaded Steph’s bags into the boot of the car while she said goodbye to Joe and Lyn, who was very tearful. She promised she would call them that night. Her and Max got into his car and they drove off. On the way to school the only conversation that occurred was between Summer and Steph. Summer was asking Steph about all the places that she was going to and asked her when she’d return and if she’d bring her back a present. Steph told her the route that her and Alex had planned, that she’d definitely bring her a gift back, and that she wasn’t sure how long she’d be gone for, maybe six months, although it could be longer. Max dropped the kids off at their schools, asked Steph were the van hire place was, and then an awkward silence ensued.  They reached the van hire place, having said very few words to each other, and got out of the car. Max opened the boot and unloaded Steph’s bags while she watched him. She couldn’t believe it was going to end like this, that she wouldn’t be able to speak to him, to joke with him, to laugh at him, to hold him, to kiss him, to be with him. He began to lift his head up as he put the last bag onto the floor. He felt that he had to say something to break the silence. Make a joke, like he always did.

‘I think you must’ve brought everything bar the kitchen sink,’ he said to her, he knew it was lame, that it had probably been said before, but he was in no mood for joking. He knew that lots of luggage meant she’d be gone for a long time.

‘Yeah,’ she said, unable to think of a witty reply. She’d turned away from Max and was scanning the yard to see if she could find Alex.

‘There’s Alex,’ she said and went to pick up some of her bags. Max also stooped to pick some of them up. They were so close to each other that she could hear his breathing and smell his aftershave. She took some deep breaths to calm herself.

‘Steph!’ she heard Alex call. She lifted her head.

‘We were just wondering where you’d gotten to,’ he said. He looked at Max questioningly.

‘The car wouldn’t start, luckily Max was kind enough to bring me.’

‘Oh right, thanks mate. Do you need hand?’

‘I think we can manage,’ said Steph. The bags were loaded into the back of the van.

‘Wow, this is great,’ said Steph, remarking on the camper van that they’d hired.

‘Yeah, I know,’ replied Steve, ‘I can’t wait to get out there.’ Steph smiled.

Alex caught her by surprise, lifting her up and giving her a big hug. But all Steph could do was stare at Max, who it seemed was waiting until she left, over Alex’s shoulder. Tears began to fill her eyes. ‘Max!’ she thought to herself, her heart reached out to him, longing for him. Alex pulled away from her.

‘We were just about to get some last minute supplies from the shop do you want to come?’

‘No, I’ll stay here and watch over the van,’ she told him.

‘Do you want anything?’

‘No, I’m alright.’ Alex and Steve left, excited about the trip.

Steph hurried over to Max, she felt like she was being pulled towards him, and they embraced. They held each other so tightly and were lost in one other. They felt that they were the only two people in the world, and that it existed just so that they could hold one another. Steph wanted to stay like this forever.

‘Never let go,’ Max whispered, barely audible. He’d said it without meaning to but thought that she wouldn’t have heard it anyway. Although it had been said so quietly, she’d heard it. She’d heard the honesty in his words, the hopelessness, nobody had ever said anything so beautiful to her as what he’d just said. Tears began to run down her face.

‘Ask me to stay,’ she whispered in reply, what seemed like an age afterwards. He couldn’t believe what he had heard. Did she really want to be with him, to hold him, to kiss him, as much as he wanted her? He pulled away, his arms around her neck, resting on her shoulders. In a low voice he said,

‘I can’t.’ Tears streamed down his face. She looked at him questioningly. Was she mistaken? Had she opened up to him, had he said those sweet and beautiful words, had she thought he felt the way that she did for him, when he didn’t want to be with her?

‘It’s your dream.’

‘I don’t want to go,’ she told him.

‘I don’t want you to regret this, I don’t want to be the one who stopped you from having what you’ve wished for since you were a young girl.’

‘You won’t be,’ she told him.

He wiped the tears from her eyes, holding her face between the palms of his hands. They moved closer, their lips touched gently. Their hearts were pounding and it felt like bliss. They pulled apart, each wanting to know what the other was thinking. Had the other felt it? They moved together once more and kissed. This time more passionately, they wanted to consume each other, to reach to the bottom of the others soul, they were lost in each other. They pulled apart, surprised at the strength of their feelings. They hadn’t realised how deeply they needed one another.

Steph pulled away from him, spotting Alex across the road. She wiped her eyes and walked towards the van. Max’s senses were in confusion. He couldn’t think. He was ecstatic, but also desolate, he was surprised but also afraid. He was all mixed up. But at the moment he had touched her lips, everything had fallen into place, everything seemed to fit. He knew that everything would be right in the world if only he was with Steph, if only he was in her arms. He watched Alex return and begin speaking to Steph. He couldn’t tell what was being said and he didn’t want to know.  He saw her reply to Alex, longing to hear her voice. Knowing she was going to be with Alex, it was agony. He saw them embrace, and then get into the back of the van. He wanted to scream at her to stop. They pulled out her bags, spoke to one another again, and hugged, Alex looked disappointed. Steph started to walk towards him, carrying one of her bags. It didn’t register. Why was she walking towards him? Why was she smiling at him? The tears continued to fall down her face. And then she spoke, her voice wavering,

‘Are you gonna help with these bags then?’ she asked him. And then he realised.