Since
You've Been Gone
Cat
G
1
Safe inside his office, Lou was in his element, counting the
takings for the night. It had been a busy one, the footy fans had come in at the
end of the match, and he and Max had been hard pressed to keep up. Hearing a
disturbance outside, Lou groaned. More trouble, more shouting, what on earth was
happening now?
“Out!! Leave NOW!! I’ve called time and you should be gone. Now
go!” shouted Max, as he bundled the young man through the closing doors of the
pub.
“Bu wharra but me beer” slurred the man.
“I said I’ve called time, and time means you’re gone.
Finished. You had your drinking up time, and now I’m throwing you out. So
go.” Yelled Max, pulling the doors shut and ignoring the thumping that
followed.
“Max! What’s going on, mate? Where’s the fire?”
“It’s nothing Lou, I’d called time and he didn’t want to
leave. That’s all. Now, do you need a hand or can I go?” Lou stared at him.
Max had changed, had become distant, easily upset, and as his partner, Lou
wanted to know why.
“No mate. What you can do is sit down and calm down. What on
earth is going on? “
“Nothing Lou.” Max’s shoulders slumped. “There’s nothing
wrong. Listen, I need to go, I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye” and with that, he
was gone.
2
Standing outside on the verandah, the crisp night air brought Max
back to earth with a bump. He’d done it again. He’d let his feelings get the
better of him again. Lou hadn’t done anything wrong, nor (if he really thought
about it) had the drunk customer. It was just that…………….it was just
that he was so cross with himself, and it seemed he’d been taking it out on
those around him.
Max shook his head, before turning and taking hold of the door
handle. With only a slight pause, he went back into the pub. The only remaining
light came from Lou’s office.
“I wondered how long it would take you.” Said Lou, without
looking up. “Give me two seconds and then I think we need to talk.”
Max went over to the small window, his insides churning. He knew he
had to talk to someone, bottling up his emotions was doing no-one any good. But
whether he could say it out loud, whether he could tell Lou what lay at the root
of his misery, well that was a whole other story.
From his seat at the desk, Lou studied his friend. Max was a good
man, a little lonely maybe, but on the whole he was usually happy. But lately,
for the past two weeks or so, well something had upset Max. He’d not been
himself, not at all. Of course, he’d been very good at hiding it, but it was
noticeable.
Lou finished his paperwork and turned off the computer.
“By the look on your face, I reckon we need a drink.” He said,
leading Max back out into the bar. Pouring a whisky for himself and pulling a
beer for Max, he set the drinks down on the bar.
“What is it Max? Something’s upset you, something’s wrong.”
“Lou, I, it’s nothing. I’m fine.” And Lou could almost see
the shutters fall. Whatever it was, it had hurt Max deeply.
3
What the hey, here's the rest of it. Now you're almost up to date.
So, what do you think?
“I hate to disappoint you Max, but you are about as far from fine
as you can get.” Said Lou. Max studied his beer, running his finger round the
edge of the glass.
For a few seconds longer, Lou watched him, before standing and
moving around to the other side of the bar to rinse his glass.
“Look, Max, There’s obviously something wrong, and when
you’re ready to talk, then I’m here.” He sighed as he reached for his
keys, crossing to the doors, ready to lock up.
A sound behind him stopped him in his tracks.
“Sorry, mate, what was that?”
Max visibly swallowed, before repeating what he’d said.
“I miss her.”
“Miss who? “ Then Lou stopped. He knew who. It wasn’t easy
losing your wife. Not easy at all, and Lou knew from experience. Cheryl had been
gone for some time now, and time was a healer, but still…………………
“Max, I understand. I guess I don’t talk about it so much now,
but a while ago, I lost my wife, Cheryl. She was killed in a road accident. So I
do understand Max.”
Max looked up at him with a humourless smile.
“Lou, I’m sorry about your wife, mate. Oh God, now I feel even
worse.” Taking a deep breath, he continued. “It’s not Claire that I miss.
Although, I do miss her, but, it………it’s not Claire.”
Lou looked confused.
Max took a gulp of his beer.
“Lou, I. Oh God, this is killing me. Lou, can I talk to you? I
mean, can I tell you and you not………….”
Lou looked at Max, seeing the turmoil behind the words, the despair
that was so close to the surface.
“Max, talk to me. Just you and me. You need to get it off your
chest, whatever it is, and I know how to listen.”
“And you won’t”
“And I won’t tell a soul. I promise. Max, what is it?”
“I miss her. I miss her so much and I never told her how I felt.
I let her go and now I’ve lost her”
“Max, who? Who are you talking about?”
Staring into his beer, Max smiled. Lou had to strain to hear what
he said.
“Steph.”
4
Lou was silent, and his silence made Max look up at him.
“Steph? As in Stephanie Scully? That Steph? Alex’s Steph?”
Again Max smiled without any humour.
“The very one.”
“And you”
“I – I love her. Daft, isn’t it?”
And he finished his beer and stood up, pouring himself another. Lou
reached over, placing a hand on top of Max’s.
“Max, I, I don’t think that’s the way to go. Listen, come
back to my place. We can talk. You need to talk, and we need to, well to get
this sorted. You love her very much don’t you?”
“Lou, I, yes, yes, I do. And I shouldn’t, it’s wrong, but I
can’t help it Lou, I love her.”
They drove home in silence, Max peering out of the window and
seeing nothing but Steph. Lou was still trying to take it all in. Max in love
with Steph. Max and Steph. Steph.
Max sat on Lou’s couch nursing a steaming mug of black coffee.
Sitting beside him, Lou waited, knowing Max would talk when he was ready.
“It wasn’t like I fell in love with her on purpose, she just
kind of got to me. She was just always there, laughing, making the most of life,
enjoying herself. Haven’t you noticed that? The room seems to brighten when
she comes in; people sit up and take notice of things. She’s so alive, so –
so beautiful” and then he came back to earth, realising where he was.
“So why didn’t you say something then?” asked Max.
“I dunno, it never seemed the right time, things always got in
the way. And besides, why would she ever want me? I mean, there’s the kids,
the mortgage, I’m tied to Erinsborough. She doesn’t need that – she needs
someone who’s free, who can fly through life with her. “
“Alex.”
“I – yeah, I suppose so. But seeing her so – so excited, so
ready to get away, it just hurt, you know? And then, when she actually left,
well that kind of sealed it for me. I’ve lost her, for good. I mean who knows
if she’ll even” he stood up, going over to stare out of the window again,
finishing so quietly, that Lou had to strain to hear him again. “Who knows if
she’ll even ever come back?”
“So, how does she feel about you? “
5
“So, how does she feel about you?”
“Me? I don’t know. She probably just sees me as a mate, as
Summer’s Dad. Which is in its own way even worse. That means that I get to see
a lot of her because of Summer and be in love with her at the same time. It’s
like I’m rubbing my own nose in it, you know? Except that she’s not here any
more, so I won’t see her and I can’t even talk to anyone about how much
I’m hurting because no-one knows, except Mum, and she’s in PNG. Hey, Lou,
I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be dumping all of this on you, you don’t need this.
I just need to get over her and get on with my life.”
“Except you won’t.”
“Thanks Lou.”
“No, I mean it Max. You’ve got it bad. You love her way too
much to forget about it.”
“Think about it Lou. She’s with Alex. Her boyfriend Alex.
Remember him? She’s travelling, just like she always wanted to. Going where
she wants, when she wants, with the man she wants. How much better can you get
than that? I mean, she’ll be going to places like Great Keppel Island, where
you can lie on the beach and watch the shooting stars. I’d love to be the one
to show her that. Or visit Uluru and feel it’s power, it’s - ah he**. I
don’t know why I do this to myself. It’s been eating away at me for two
weeks now Lou. I just miss her so much.”
“So what are you going to do about it?”
“There’s nothing I CAN do, Lou. She made her choice, she’s
happy and I, well I’ll just have to live with it.”
“Or – “
“Or nothing Lou. I can’t do that to her. I can’t disrupt her
life, not now, not when she’s finally got what she deserves. I mean I know
Alex loves her, you only have to watch him to know that. And she likes him.
So,” he sighed, standing and giving Lou a small smile. “Anyway, Lou! It’s
almost midnight, I’d better go. Listen, “
“Don’t worry, I won’t say a word. But Max, you need to talk
to her, you need to let her know how you feel, who knows, maybe”
“Don’t Lou. I can’t do that to her. She deserves to be happy
and she’s happy with Alex. It doesn’t matter how much I love her, that’s
my problem, not hers. Good-night Lou” and with that he left a thoughtful Lou,
standing in his loungeroom.
6
Steph and Alex had ridden through the night, wanting to see the sun
rise at Byron Bay. Despite her initial reservations, Steph really was enjoying
herself. The ‘just friends’ bit was working well and thus far Alex had not
mentioned her mystery man at all. Which was just how she wanted it. Because
nothing would ever come of the sparks that flew between her and Max, they’d
had enough chances, but neither had had the guts to step up to the plate. So,
Steph reminded herself, what she had to do was to put him out of her mind, once
and for all. And she would. Eventually.
They finally arrived at Byron Bay just as the first golden rays of
sunlight began appearing. Parking their bikes they stood on the beach, close
together watching the sunlight cast a spell over the surroundings. Alex wrapped
an arm around Steph’s shoulders, pulling her in tight to him, missing the
slight hesitation she made. He turned to look at her.
“Happy?”
“Actually, yes. This trip is fantastic, Australia really is an
amazing place, isn’t it?”
“Certainly is!” And he dropped a kiss on the top of her head.
Moving away from his side, Steph glanced back at him. “Alex..”
“I’m sorry Steph” putting his hands up, he smiled at her.
“You can’t blame a guy for trying. This mystery guy really got to you,
didn’t he ?” As he saw her face fall, he mentally chided himself. ‘Not the
way to go, Alex – bide your time, she’ll come round eventually’
“Come on, let’s go and find somewhere to stay and get something
to eat – I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.” And he began to
wheel his bike towards the centre of town. Steph stared at his back as he walked
away. Sighing, she moved over to her bike, her thoughts invading the peaceful
surroundings. Max. Max Hoyland. The thorn in her side. There had been so many
chances, and each of those chances had passed them by. Max Hoyland – mystery
man. Shaking her head, Steph smiled slightly. Taking a deep breath, she forced
herself to look forward, and not at what could (should, a small voice insisted )
have been. Wheeling her bike, she caught up with a patiently waiting Alex.
7
Two nights later, Max was once again locking up the bar. Lou had
left earlier, it had been a quiet night and Max had lost the coin toss to see
who got an early mark. There had been virtually no-one in the bar for the last
hour and a half, and Max’s mind had once again turned to its favourite subject
– a certain feisty, fascinating blonde who was far, far out of reach. Max had
been torturing himself, his mind wandering through various scenarios, each of
which usually ended up with him and Steph together.
Sighing sadly, he gathered up his stuff, making sure that he had
his car keys ready. Stepping out onto the verandah, he put the keys in the lock,
pausing for a split second as the keys refused to work. Looking down, he smiled.
He’d been so lost in his thoughts he’d been trying to lock the pub with his
car keys. Patting his pockets, he finally located the pub keys, turning slightly
at a sound behind him.
Max never really knew what hit him, the pain was so sudden and so
sharp. He dropped both sets of keys as he grabbed at his chest. Looking at his
hand, his fear turned to panic as the blood dripped from his hand. As his legs
gave way, a figure appeared over him.
“Won’t treat anyone else like that, will you, you b*****d!
No-one chucks me out of a pub and gets away with it”
And as Max slowly lost consciousness, the last thing he saw was the
slow arc of the knife as it once again descended towards him.
8
Bob was a great dog, faithful, energetic, but sometimes, just
sometimes, he could be really annoying. And this was one of those times. The
incessant scratching at the door, coupled with the non-stop whining had finally
worked, and a miserable Toadie was taking Bob on the fastest walk of his small
life.
Walking as quickly as he could, Toadie trailed Bob along behind
him. Turning into the Lassiters complex, he figured that he could do a lap of
the hotel grounds, let Bob do what he needed to do and still be home in time to
at least see the end of the movie. Which of course wouldn’t make much sense
due to Bob. Glaring down at the small fluffy bundle, Toadie was once again
conned by the big brown eyes. “That’s really not fair, you know. That’s
what they call being a con-dog. D’you hear that? A con-dog. And I’m not
going to fall for it. We’re going home and we’re going home now.”
So saying, he picked Bob up and was about to leave, when he noticed
someone sitting on the verandah of the pub. Toadie sighed. This was not what he
needed. There had been a few unpleasant characters hanging around the pub, Lou
had been worried, but Max had said that things would be fine, that every pub has
its unsavoury characters every now and then, all of whom could be dealt with.
Holding the squirming dog under one arm, Toadie warily approached
the man who was slumped on the ground. Treading carefully, so as not to startle
the man, Toadie made his way forward. As he got closer, he caught sight of a
familiar green shirt, sodden with blood.
Bob landed gracefully as Toadie ran forward.
“Max?”
“My God, Max, what happened?”
With shaking hands, Toadie gently opened Max’s jacket, shuddering
as he saw the amount of blood that Max had lost. Grabbing his mobile, he
frantically dialled 000, he voice shaking as the operator answered.
“I need, I need an ambulance, Max has been stabbed!”
After giving the address and urging them to hurry, Toadie hung up,
pausing only seconds before he dialled a familiar number.
“Karl? Karl, its Toadie. Listen, Max has been stabbed”
Any trace of sleep in Karl Kennedy’s voice vanished at the words.
He sat bolt upright in bed, waking Susan who groaned and turned over again.
“Karl? Karl can you hear me?”
“Toadie, Toadie, calm down! How bad is he? Have you called an
ambulance?”
By now Susan was fully awake, staring at Karl, who was dressing as
he spoke.
“Where are you?”
Karl grabbed his bag as he hurried out of the door. Having run all
of the way to the pub, he was out of breath when he finally reached Toadie and
Max. Toadie hadn’t moved Max, for fear of making things worse, and the puddle
of blood around him was growing. As Karl reached down to start checking him out,
he saw Max’s eyelids flutter and heard a strangled sound. Putting his ear to
Max’s mouth, he managed to make out a name.
“Steph, please, need Steph, tell Steph”
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