Merduck And Dorsie Don't Go to a Concert

Merduck and Dorsie Don't Go to a Concert

PANEL ONE
[Merduck is swimming downwards and holding two small pieces of paper in his hands.]
Merduck (excitedly): Dorsie! Hey Dorsie, guess what?

PANEL TWO
Merduck: I just got tickets to Weezer!
[Merduck is holding out the tickets to show Dorsie, who looks astonished.]
Dorsie: CONCERT tickets?

PANEL THREE
[Dorsie is shown with a sarcastic/agitated expression on her face and her arms are crossed.]
Dorsie: So, you somehow managed to get tickets to a Weezer concert. Very good. I'm happy for you. But just tell me one thing...

PANEL FOUR
[Dorsie's fists are clenched, her arms are straight down her sides, and she is screaming.]
Dorsie: ...HOW ARE YOU GONNA GO TO A CONCERT?! YOU'RE A DUCK!
Merduck (unseen): That's where you come in. Be right back. [He swims off and comes back with a nondescript-looking mask in his hands.]

PANEL FIVE
Dorsie (pointing at the mask): What is THAT?
Merduck: A human costume. All we hafta do is drink Red Liquid and put this on! [NOTE: Blue Liquid turns you into a mer-whatever--and gives you human intelligence if you were, say, a duck and didn't have any before--and Red Liquid changes you back to normal. MD and Dorsie can only drink like one drop of RL though or else they turn back into regular only-go-quack ducks.]

PANEL SIX
Dorsie: One of us has completely lost it.
Merduck (putting on the head): See? It's brilliant!
Dorsie: Namely you.

PANEL SEVEN
[Merduck now has the head on and is holding the rest of the costume.]
Merduck: But we hafta pair up. You'll be under me.

PANEL EIGHT
[Dorsie is making a gagging gesture.]
Dorsie: NO way. The very thought of being underneath you gives me the dry heaves.

PANEL NINE
[Merduck's eyes look agitated through the fake head.]
Merduck: Look, I wanna go to this concert. I got TWO tickets, Dorsie ... So do you wanna go, or don'tcha?
[Dorsie is looking skyward and clasping her hands]
Dorsie: YEAH I wanna go! I LOVE Weezer! Rivers Cuomo is HOT. Sigh.

PANEL TEN
[Merduck and Dorsie are off-panel. Bubble, one of the Merduckling twins, is swimming along and sees the tickets Merduck carelessly tossed onto a rock.]
Merduck (unseen): Alright, then. If you wanna go, one of us has to be under the other one, so we're taller.
Bubble: Hey, Babble! C'mere!
Dorsie: (unseen, glumly): Does it HAVE to be me?

PANEL ELEVEN
[Bubble and Babble are both looking at the tickets.]
Babble: What?
Bubble: Check it out, man!
Babble: SWEET!

PANEL TWELVE
[Bubble's fishtail is seen as he is swimming away. The tickets are no longer on the rock, implying that the twins took them.]
Merduck (still unseen): ALRIGHT, fine. If you're gonna be DIFficult about it, YOU can be above ME.
Dorsie (also still unseen): Fine. OK. Get the tickets and let's go.

PANEL THIRTEEN
[Merduck, still wearing the fake head, and Dorsie swim to the rock, where they discover...]
Merduck: HEY! Where'd they go? They were right here!
Dorsie (pointing) There go Bubble and Babble! ... And they have them!

PANEL FOURTEEN
Merduck: Well, at least you won't have to be under me.
Dorsie (looking more than a little agitated) Shut up. (pause) And take that stupid thing off your head.

PANEL FIFTEEN
[Merduck takes "that stupid thing" off his head and is holding it. Dorsie is standing--er, floating--with arms akimbo and a smirk on her face.]
Dorsie: Where'd you get that thing, anyway?
Merduck: Wal-Mart.
Dorsie: They let YOU into Wal-Mart?
Merduck (lying through his beak): Uh ... yeah. Sure.

END