11.14.03 (again) Okay, I’m going to make a new archive tomorrow, so be prepared for that if you’re one of the three people who regularly visits here.
And now: What I Don’t Want For Christmas. Hog lips. One sock. “The Very Best of Barry Manilow.” Lightbulbs. A full garbage bag. A non-working pen. “Obsession’s Number One Hit.” (yes, there is only one hit. And if you grew up in the 80s, you should know it.) Goat cheese. Spleen. Envelopes. Toothpaste. And not in a tube, either. A full pan of cat litter. An empty Ziplock baggie. Stale bread. “Let’s Polka,” Volume 36.
I hope that everyone is now clear on what not to get me for my holiday season.
BTW... “Dueling Banjos” keeps segueing into “Yankee Doodle” which for some odd, obscure reason keeps segueing into “Hella Good” by No Doubt....
11.14.03
I have “Dueling Banjos” running through my mental jukebox right now, since I just watched a Flash cartoon which had it as its background music. Now I’ll hear “diddledeedledeedlediddledoodledoodledee” in my head ALL DAY.
Brrr. It is SO fucking cold right now. I’m also bored. BUT yesterday I saw this freakin’ hilarious website, which I can’t remember the link of right off hand, but it was so great. It was “food you shouldn’t eat.” It was just about the funniest thing I’d seen in a long time. Four words: Potted Meat Food Product. Also there was another website I can’t remember the address to, but it was Teh Evil Psycho Christmas Decorations of Death. (Not actually called that. That’s just what I call ‘em.) Funny shit.
Deedledeedlediddledeedledoodledoodledoo...
11.13.03 (again)
I’m feeling a bit better now—just went to a hilarious website and then I was doinking around on the Buzz website checking out the profiles for the other DJs, and I was on Sheryl Stewart’s part and there was this quiz-thing that she took which I don’t know if she made up the questions herself or if she got it from somewhere, but I thought I would take it as well.
1.) Bands/Artists You've Seen Live: Garbage (three times), No Doubt, Sleater-Kinney, Alanis Morissette (I’m almost ashamed to admit this, but I totally dug her between 1997-2000. I don’t like her anymore though). I haven’t really been to very many concerts. Also I’ve seen Janeane Garofalo perform live, but I don’t know if she counts.
2.) Things You're Looking Forward To: Um. Does Christmas count? I mean, everyone looks forward to Christmas, right? Oh wait, maybe the next time Daria does an event or something in Portland...
3.) Things That Annoy You: People who smack their gum, people who laugh at their own jokes (especially if they’re not funny), Marconi from 94.7 KNRK and 107 dot ... something... The End in Seattle, and my mom’s stupid cockatoo.
4.) Movies You Could Watch Again And Again: I don’t really watch very many movies, but “American Beauty,” hands down.
5.) Favorite Songs Of The Moment: Do songs that aren’t on the radio count? Well, anyway, a LOT of stuff by Elvis Costello (his older stuff from the late 70s-early 80s), anything off London Calling by the Clash, anything by Sleater-Kinney, and that “Are You Gonna Be My Girl” song by Jet.
6.) Perfect Day (Describe It): Doing whatever the hell I want whenever the hell I want.
7.) Birthplace: Milwaukie, OR.
8.) Favorite Artists You Play: Elvis Costello!!! Sleater-Kinney, The Clash (but I’ve only heard London Calling), Weezer, Audioslave, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, et al.
9.) If You Could Have Dinner With Four Famous People Who Would They Be And Why? Janeane Garofalo, and the three chicks from Sleater-Kinney. Because they’re all awesome, dammit.
10.) 2 Stars That Get You Hot: Rivers Cuomo from Weezer. Kurt Cobain from Nirvana. Wait, can they be dead?
11.) Coolest Star You Have Met/Interviewed: I haven’t really met anyone famous except for Daria (when she was at NRK), but she was completely awesome when I met her so I guess that counts...
12.) Favorite Portland Area Restaurant: I don’t really have one. I don’t go downtown very often, admittedly.
13.) Favorite Place To See A Show: Crystal Ballroom, or Roseland.
14.) Coolest Thing About Living In Portland: Well, I don’t technically live IN Portland so I don’t know if I can answer this... heh. Actually, I really don’t know.
15.) Favorite Part About Working On Air At The Buzz: I don’t.
16) Fave Band That No One Knows About...Yet: Does Sleater-Kinney count? Not many people know about them—they’re a pretty underground girl-punk band.
17) Share A Dirty Little Secret: Don’t really have any... *shifty eyes*
18) Guilty Musical Pleasures: Pink and Shakira. I’m really an alternative/rock/li’l-bit-o’-punk kinda girl.
11.13.03
You know, even I’m beginning to doubt that Daria joining Nelson and Terry was a good idea. I feel like I’m laughing at the show not because I want to laugh but because I feel like I HAVE to laugh. I don’t quite know how to put that... I’ll listen for a little while longer, but as much as I love Daria, I just am not sure if it will work out. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it will work out. But it’s been four days that she’s been on the Buzz and seriously, I’ve only laughed about three or four times. Total. Even at Daria’s jokes, which really seem to be—what’s the word?—constricted, I guess. I wonder if she’s not allowed to be like she was on NRK... She hasn’t ranted or yelled or sung or anything yet, and I really liked when she did those on NRK. I really miss that... *sigh* I mean I realize that the Buzz demographic is older (I call it “soccer-mom music,” actually) and that the 40-year-olds might not like having Daria rant passionately and loudly about her love for Paradise Hotel or her hatred for Joan Rivers, but I DID. I loved that. I just don’t understand why she can’t be like that again.
And I still think she needs to bring back the Local Entertainment Guides. Maybe she will eventually, but I seriously miss those. They were my favorite part of the NRK morning show. I would be laughing at them so hard that I wouldn’t be able to breathe. But of course Entercom are corporate assholes who don’t care about what the listeners like, so the guides probably won’t come back. (BTW, Entercom, I think, is like the schoolyard bully who punched kids in the stomach and took their lunch money. Nothing against Daria at all, but that is my opinion.)
I had a horrible stomachache this morning... bleh. I just feel like shit today, anyway. It’s only 9:05 am, too. I think I’m going to be in a bad mood all day. Plus that comment about Jayn on pdxradio.com just really got to me. It probably shouldn’t bother me as much as it did but I just imagined how she would feel if she ever read that, and I just ... cried. I just thought, she would feel so bad and her feelings would be so hurt if she ever saw that. I’m still not posting it here because it seriously makes me sick to read it.
I feel so ... awful right now.
11.12.03 (yet again)
I found some old grade-school yearbooks of mine whilst digging through one of my Boxes O’ Shit, and decided to scan some pictures of me and upload them here. Be forewarned, you are venturing into ‘80s territory...
Second grade, 1986-87 Third grade, 1987-88 Fourth grade. 1988-89. “Don’t cut my bangs evenly, Mom, I’d like to look like a complete dork in my school picture.” Sixth grade.1990-91. I stand by my unshaken belief that eleven-year-old girls should not get perms. Ever. Seventh grade, 1991-92.
Let’s hear it for painful childhood memories. Hooray.
11.12.03 (again)
I messed up on the Daria fan club link below, for those of you who tried to get there and got “This group does not exist,” here’s the corrected link:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/dariaoneilfanclub
11.12.03
This is a reply to someone on a comment-thing for a blog (korashime) who said Daria was “boring” and that her voice was “monotone”. I’m sorry but as you people probably have figured out by now, I’m fiercely loyal to Daria, so here’s my comment:
“Daria isn't boring! She really is a comic genius. God dammit. Nobody is willing to give her a chance in a new station. It will take some time for her to get situated with a new team. And as for her voice being "monotone," I can assure you it isn't. You never listened to her on NRK, did you? She'd go into passionate rants which were hilarious. And sometimes she'd sing--which was also funny as hell because she *can't* sing. Just ... oh, god, how can I put this? She's also one of the coolest, nicest people I've ever met. *sigh* She is *not* boring. That's all I can say.
“Seriously. WHY aren't people willing to give them a chance? Yes, I do agree that she "belongs" on KNRK. BUT it is not my decision, it is the station's, and quite frankly none of us are going to be able to get her back onto NRK. Yes, she did work better with Gustav. But that was because SHE KNEW GUSTAV BETTER than she did Nelson and Terry. Also Daria's brand of humor is intelligent, witty and sarcastic--which at first isn't going to fit in with N&T's brand of humor, which is more ...well, I hate to say it, but there's a bit of Marconi-ness in it.
“I liken her switch to be something like making the transition from, say, junior high to highschool. Imagine you're in eighth grade. You can pretty much lord it over the lower grades (although saying Daria "lords it over" anyone would be a flat-out lie). Then you move to highschool, in which you are in the lowest grade yet again. You're in a new situation and you don't know anyone (except for the other people in your grade). You're going to be nervous and "not yourself" probably. I guess what I'm trying to say is that she needs more time. SHE IS A PRO. And I'm not just saying that, she really is. She's been a morning radio DJ here in Portland for six years. Had you never heard (of) her before? I'm not trying to be an ass, I'm really asking. I mean I realize that regular listeners of the Buzz may not know who she is. I mean I didn't really know who Teri Anne (I've seen several different spellings of her name) was.
“Also someone else said on the Daria O'Neill fan club ( http://groups.yahoo.com/group/dariaoneil ) that on Gustav and Daria (her old show on NRK), she was the comedian and Gustav was the straight man. Now Terry is the straight man and they need to find a way to work in two comedians. And it's really partly N&T's fault for keeping on interrupting her when she's trying to talk. If they would just let her say what she's trying to say without trying to usurp her jokes, you would see (hear?) how brilliant and funny and sarcastic she really is. She's a comic genius. There's my slightly-more-than-two-cents for you.”
Also on pdxradio.com someone said some mean things about Jayn that actually made me cry. I can’t ... no, I won’t repeat it here. Just go to pdxradio.com, then do the click-on-several-links-until-you-get-to-the-message-board thing, and click on the message “What happened to Jayn?” and it’s in there. It’s so asshole-ish and mean-spirited that I actually cried when I read it. Jayn was awesome, dammit.
11.11.03
Daria is now billed on Nelson & Terry on the Buzz, so it’s now called Nelson, Terry and Daria. Yesterday she seemed a bit held-back, not her usual spontaneous, passionate self. It was probably just first-day new-station jitters or something, because today she was a lot more uninhibited and she’s talking a lot more. I think she just needed to find her niche in a new station, and for the love of God will Nelson and Terry STOP INTERRUPTING HER WHEN SHE’S TRYING TO SPEAK!!!! She’s a comic fucking GENIUS and she can’t be funny if other people keep talking over her. However, they didn’t seem to interrupt her as much as they did yesterday—I think they’ll learn quickly how to all get along together, at the same station I mean. And it’s not like they don’t know each other—they worked in the same building—so I don’t really know why N&T are acting like they’ve never freaking heard her before. She’s not a rookie, Nelson and Terry! She knows what she’s doing. Just let her talk when she’s talking, and don’t try to usurp her jokes, and everything will work out just peachy.
11.10.03
Ever wanted to tell that not-so-special someone just what you think of them? Well now you can. Presenting Anti-Valentines Candy.
From Acme Labs.
Well, Daria’s back, and as hilarious as ever. Hooray! Now I can laugh again in the mornings. But I’m not sure if she can answer her email or not yet though. I’ll have to wait for a few days, I guess, until she gets a 1051thebuzz.com email address. Then I think she’ll be able to answer her emails. I’m just sayin’, because I sent her a “welcome back” email on Friday to her entercom.com email, but I don’t know if she got it. Oh well. If she didn’t it’s in my sentlog so I can send it again...
11.09.03
So I missed most of the goddamn lunar eclipse last night. It had been overcast earlier in the evening, so I thought I wouldn’t be able to see it at all, and I was playing Paper Mario (talking to Merlar, the dead chick who gives you the Star Stone so you can reach the Crystal Palace), when my mom came in my room and said there was an eclipse. “I know,” I said. “I can’t see it ‘cause it’s cloudy.” She said no it wasn’t so I went outside and there was a chunk of black on the upper-right “corner” of the moon. It was around 6:40 or so. Apparently it had started at 5:08, according to the paper, so I missed it. Totality lasted for 24 minutes.
I’m going to change the link on the Daria guides transcript section to the 105.1 The Buzz address... would have done it sooner but like everyone should know by now, I am the queen of procrastinators.
Speaking of Daria, I was browsing through the digital cable menu and we have three new channels—VH1 Classic (“Holy freaking mother of a monkey on a stick! We have VH1 Classic! Holy crap!”), VH1 Country (which I will never, ever, ever, ever watch), and Noggin. I’m happy about that too, because now I can watch the other Daria. The one who used to be on MTV. The two-dimensional one. Well, two-dimensional in physical stature anyway. But I think they cut out a lot of stuff—but all the sarcasm that I love in that show is still there. I still think that was the best show on MTV, and I was pissed when they cancelled it. I liked Jane the best. She’s an artist, like me.
Jake: “Why do they make the eye of the needle so damn small?” Daria: “I guess to piss off the camel.”
11.08.03 (again)
Okay, I decided to take the Java blackboard applet off of here. It was a bit annoying, and I’ve got a lot of stuff up at the top of this page anyway. However, check back from time to time to see what the church sign says...
11.08.03
I found a cool little Java applet—it’s like Bart Simpson’s chalkboard gags on the Simpsons. You can find it by going to The Simpsons Archive... but I can’t remember the direct link. You’ll have to search around for it. Actually, I knew about this before, and I wanted to put it up here, but just kept putting it off.
I don’t know why but I feel like it’s Sunday. It’s Saturday, though. I hate it when I feel like it’s the day after the day it really is. I wish it were Sunday, then there would only be one more day left until Daria comes back... hooray!!
11.07.03
It’s official!! Daria will, indeed, be joining the morning show on 105.1 The Buzz. There was a press release issued today which can be found if you go to pdxradio.com and then Feedback-yak and then Portland Radio, there’s a message entitled “Daria to join the Buzz?” click on that and the message is in there...
I am so excited and happy about this. In fact so much so that I couldn’t sleep last night. I felt like I was six years old and the next day was my birthday or something. It was around 2:30-ish am and I still couldn’t sleep, so I listened to “Get Happy!!” for a little while. Then again, I couldn’t possibly get any more happy right now. After that ... I still couldn’t sleep so I lay there for a while on The World’s Lumpiest Mattress (I swear I could sleep on a gravel driveway and it would be more comfortable than my bed), and around 4 or so my stomach started growling so I snuck downstairs and grabbed a slice of cold leftover pizza from dinner earlier, snarfed it down and still lay there all excited and yee hee hee-ish and didn’t actually get to sleep until around 6:30 am.
By the way, if Daria were still at NRK right now, today would have been the one-year anniversary of the day that I first started listening to Gustav and Daria. I still remember that day... *wavy flashback effects* The night before, I’d had insomnia, and I had actually been wanting to listen to G&D for a while, because the radio used to play clips from their show in the afternoons and evenings, and they were always hilarious. So I figured since I was awake anyway it was too good of an opportunity to pass up. And I’m so glad I did listen, since after that I started listening every day (except when I was on vacation or something), and met Daria later on, of course. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t crack up laughing while listening to that show. I’m still going to miss it, of course, but I’m so happy that Daria is still going to be on the radio, and still in this market!!
11.06.03 (again)
I AM SOOO HAPPY!!! I just read on pdxradio.com that Daria will be joining the morning show on 105.1 The Buzz, so she IS going to stay here in Portland! YAAAYYY!! I am now the happiest I’ve been in a month!! Granted, it’s not exactly the type of music I like, but I can stomach Matchbox 20 and their ilk for Daria. I’m shaking right now ‘cause I’m so excited. According to Ty, who is another DJ from NRK who posts there, this is NOT a rumor. But I’m not sure when she’ll be joining though.
11.06.03
Okay, Ashalen now has a Yahoo! KNRK Boycott Group up, in place of her journal entry about that, so the link to that is above.
I still haven’t found a decent radio station yet. KUFO? No, too hard. KINK? Too soft. 105.9 The River? They may as well just call that “All Tom Petty, All the Time.” I swear they play enough Tom Petty to choke a horse. I hate Tom Petty.
I’m wondering if any of the other DJs from KNRK (old or new) have visited my blog recently. Jayn? Daria? I know Gustav has, since I gave him the link. I wonder if Squid has... he mentioned in a comment for Ashalen’s KNRK Boycott entry (which is now in the Yahoo group above, like I said) that he was doing Google searches for the DJs’ names and the station to see what people were saying about it... anyway, if you are any of the above people, give me a sign that you’ve been here—either email or sign the guestbook or something... ^_^ (especially Daria and/or Jayn!)
It’s not as cold here today as it has been. I think it’s somewhere in the 50s today. I only needed one coat to take the dog out.
There’s supposed to be a lunar eclipse on Saturday. Not sure yet if it’s total or not, and I’m also not quite sure when it’s supposed to start. Of course it’ll probably start later if you’re on the East Coast or something.
I had wanted to go to see the Comedy Central tour with Lewis Black and Dave Attell, and I checked yesterday and there are still tickets available for the Portland show. However, I am unable to go because I don’t have a car, and neither does my mom right now, and it’s on a Saturday night so my dad and brother will both be using their cars. So I’d have no way to get there. It would be too expensive to take a cab and the bus doesn’t come out here since I live out in the Middle of No-Fucking-Where’s-Ville. Bummer, too. I LOVE Lewis Black. He’s my favorite male comedian (Janeane Garofalo, of course, being my favorite female comedian...). I’ve seen both his Comedy Central Presents specials about a dozen (or two) times each, plus I downloaded and burned both the White Album and The End of the Universe onto CDs. Yeah, I know, but I can’t find the actual CDs ANYWHERE. Trust me, I’ve looked.
11.05.03 (yet again)
Changed my mind about changing Ashalen’s link tomorrow, and just did it right now. Archive 12 is slightly modified. The link to the journal itself is still there; it’s just the KNRK boycott entry that has been taken down from her site.
11.05.03 (again)
I just got an email from Ashalen and she said yes, that entry is down permanently. So I’ll be taking that out of the archives. But I’ll do it tomorrow—I don’t feel like it right now since I’m hungry and I’ve got pot pie cravings.
Oooh! Oooh! Speaking of craving I read on a link from Brunchma that the Simpsons’ hybrid crop, the ToMacco, is now a real plant... I can’t remember the direct link but if you click the Brunchma link above and go to Mind-Numbingly Senseless BS and then there’s a ToMacco thread in there... somewhere... o_O Says it’s deadly though. This is also kind of weird because this morning I was reading “The Simpsons Beyond Forever! A Complete Guide to Our Favorite Family Still Continued,” and I was reading the synopsis for that episode (“E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)”), and was thinking “I wonder if you could really cross tomatoes with tobacco...” Not like it matters to me anyway since I hate tomatoes...
11.05.03
The KNRK boycott entry on Ashalen’s journal seems to be down, but just that entry, it seems. I’m not sure if she took it off permanently or not, but just in case it comes back I’m leaving the link in Archive 12, and here as well. Ashalen, if you happen to be reading this, what happened to it? (I’d email but I can’t find an email link on the site)
Also I’m thinking of compiling a list of all the people who are boycotting KNRK or indeed Entercom itself. I’d posted this as a comment on Ashalen’s journal but since that entry’s not there anymore, nobody’s going to see it. So, if you are boycotting, email me at mysticalchicken@jgarofalo.zzn.com so I can add your name to the list. I’m hoping to get as many names as possible. Or if you don’t feel like emailing just sign the guestbook but make sure to mention the boycott.
Uuuoooh. I don’t feel so good right now, actually... too much coffee again. Note to self: stop drinking coffee on an empty stomach. Yeah, I mean it. Stop it.
I’m reading “Dante’s Inferno” again. Now there’s a good book to be reading at one in the morning ... yeah, heh heh. But I’m only on the second circle right now anyway. By the way, I took an online quiz to see which circle of Hell I’d end up at (I can’t remember the link but you’d probably be able to find it or something similar to it if you Googled), and I got Limbo. Hurray! Relative non-torture for all eternity! Yee hoo.
I’m dubious about Daria going to Denver. (Alliteration not purposefully intended) On the website for the station she tried out for it now has a “try-out-for-the-morning-show” link dealie. If she already tried out, and that link is there—and it wasn’t there yesterday, I don’t think—that probably means that she wasn’t quite what they were looking for. So maybe—just maybe—she’ll stay in Portland. Or, she may get called to, I dunno, Wisconsin or somewhere. (I just pulled a state out of thin air)
I’m also currently playing “Paper Mario”—I haven’t played that game in forever. In my current file I’m almost about to enter Tubba Blubba’s castle. I hate TB’s castle ‘cause of all the stupid Clubbas. Except that they’re quite vulnerable to Lullaby and Sleepy Sheep. Lazy bastards. Anyway, I hate ‘em ‘cause of that multi-clubbing thing they do—it’s hard to dodge it. And you have to dodge it more than once per attack. Luckily however I have the Dodge Master badge on, which makes timed attacks/dodges happen more often... and the Damage Dodge, which strengthens defense by one if you do a timed dodge. I don’t think I’ve ever used the word “dodge” so much... O_o Hey, have you ever noticed if you look at a word for a long time or if you see it repeatedly it loses all its meaning and just becomes a jumble of meaningless symbols? I learned this from one of Daria’s guides. Actually, I didn’t “learn” it per se, but she did mention it. And speaking of guides I keep wanting to transcribe more but I keep putting it off... I’ll probably do one or two this weekend, though.
I’m gonna go see if FredDurstsStupidIdiotFan has any more reviews up on amazon...
11.04.03
Man, oh, man. The more I listen to “London Calling,” the more I love it. In fact, I’m still debating this, but I may even like it a little more than the Elvis Costello CD I bought at the same time, “Get Happy.” They’re both excellent though... I just went back to amazon.com to check out some more Clash stuff, and listened to the sound clips from the 1977 debut. I think I may get that one as well. I’ve heard the song White Riot before, I think. They probably played it on the radio when Joe Strummer died—in fact, I think they did. Or it was in a commercial or something... anyway, I know I’ve heard that one.
Speaking of hearing—the song “Spanish Bombs” on LC—WHERE have I heard that riff before? I’d never heard that song before I got that CD, but I know I’ve heard that riff somewhere before on a song by a different band. It’s driving me crazy.
You know, that FredDurst guy has some new reviews up, including one for Linkin Park’s “Meteora,” and far be it from me to say, but he seriously sounds as if he’s being sarcastic in the review. I mean, “I’m soooooo impressed!” That to me screams sarcasm. Maybe this guy is being so sarcastic that I actually can’t tell if he is...
*goes off singing* “Spanish songs in Andalucia, the shooting sites in the days of ’39...”
11.02.03
Time to suffer again, people. Man, I’m finding Gustav and Daria blog entries left and right.
Still freezing here. You kiddies haven’t made yourself sick on all that Halloween candy, have you? Don’t eat it all at once now. And make sure you look for needles in the apples. Or wait, that’s Pepsi cans...
[robotic]must ... go ... listen ... to ... clash ...[/robotic]
11.01.03 (again)
Okay, that guy, FredDurstsNumbaOneFan from amazon.com that I was making fun of the other day for writing that snarky review about the Clash? Well, he has a bunch of reviews of CDs on amazon.com, and here they all are. I swear, this guy has ZERO taste in music whatsoever. He is totally ignorant and seriously, he should take some of the money he’s buying all these CDs he hates with (why does he buy them if he hates them or hates the band???) and buy himself a dictionary. Or maybe he should just get hit over the head with a dictionary. Anywhoozle, even with the bands and CDs he actually likes (and there are VERY few of them—plus he only likes corporate/poseur bands, even though he says that the bands who INFLUENCED the bands he likes are corporate/poseur—what an ignorant ass-hat), he usually only gives one star to, because there are too many cuss words, or not enough cuss words, or he didn’t like the album cover, or something lame like that. And his spelling and grammar are atrocious. I stand by my belief that he is no older than 12, possibly younger. Also he says he’s never heard of the Rolling Stones. WTF??? I don’t particularly care for the Rolling Stones but SERIOUSLY, they’ve been around since the fuckin’ 60s!! And he thinks Nirvana is a new band. Hate to break it to you, dorkoid, but Nirvana was around in the late 80s, probably before you were even born. I think he also thinks the Clash is a new band. Phh. What an ass-hat. Maybe he should check the copyright dates on the CDs he buys. Anyway, have fun laughing at his ignorance and general ass-hattedness.
PS. Okay, so he likes Weezer and Green Day. I’ll give him that—those are good bands. But the rest of the bands he likes are lame-ass commercial created-by-MTV bands. And he should stop contradicting himself so much. He says he likes John Mayer a lot and then turns around and gives a negative review (as if he gave any other type) to a John Mayer CD. For the record, I don’t like John Mayer, but it’s confusing to know what this guy likes and doesn’t like. I know you are all thinking “So ignore the ass-hat,” but his reviews are just so unwell-written and ignorant that it’s just hilarious.
11.01.03
Don’t eat all your candy at once now, kiddies. God, sometimes I wish I were ten years old again so I could legally extort people out of free crap. (Danae is THE coolest comic character EVAR.)
Brrrr. It is absolutely FREEZING here. I think it was about 20 degrees last night when I was taking the dog out... I needed two coats and I was still shivering. If it had been cloudy it may have actually started snowing, but I don’t really know...
I have a cartoon character named Merduck whom I’ve been drawing for ten years, since 1994 when I was a freshman in highschool. Merduck is a duck with a fishtail. I came up with him when I was drawing a bunch of animals with fishtails, and I liked the duckfish the best, because it was ironic (ducks can already swim...) So I decided to draw a whole series of Merduck comics, and I did from 1994-1997. I had a whole blue three-ring binder of ‘em and now I can’t find the damn thing. Anyway, there are five characters, and here are stats for the two main ones, Merduck and Dorsie. Pictures are coming soon.
MERDUCK Age: Somewhere in his early 20s Feathers: Yellow Tail: Green Vice: Caffeine Other vice: Deep-fried seaweed cakes Hates: The Irate Scientist; having caffeine taken away from him
DORSIE Full name: Dorsella Duckfish Age: Early 20s Feathers: Green (except for a tuft of head-feathers held in a ponytail with a Scrunchee which she dyes red) Tail: Red Vice: None, really, unless sarcasm counts. Hates: The Irate Scientist; being a naked duck Tries: To get caffeine away from Merduck
10.30.03
So last night marked the 6th season premiere of my favorite show EVER, “That 70’s Show.” I’ve been watching that show since the pilot and I totally love it. Last night’s episode was, as always, hilarious. Speaking of hilarious, did anyone see South Park last night? I think they really hit the nail on the head with that one. I may have a new favorite South Park episode now. (My last favorite was the one with that guy who “talks to the dead,” John Edwards or whatever his name is.) Anyway, Stan, Kyle and Kenny are competing with Cartman to get a platinum album for their respective bands. Cartman chooses a Christian-rock approach, recruiting Token and Butters for his band, later named Faith + 1. Stan, Kyle and Kenny aren’t sure in what direction their band, Moop, wants to go, so they decide to buy hundreds of CDs to find out what they like. Kyle’s dad won’t give him the money to buy the CDs but Kenny says that they can download music for free over the Internet. So they do, and they get in trouble for it (with FBI agents crashing through the window!). They’re taken into custody and shown what could happen if they keep downloading music—that rock stars will be forced to live a life of “only semi-luxury.” BWAAA HA HA HA HA!!! The way I personally see it is, for the love of god, bands have like millions of dollars. They can afford to lose a few thousand. And it’s like Kyle said, they should be stoked that people are listening to the music, and they’ll get money from people who go to their concerts. I thought it was funny when that one chick (I have NO idea who the hell she was supposed to be...) said “Yeah... we’re really just in it for the money.” Oh, and Cartman thinks that he won the platinum album, but it was really a “myrrh” album, because Christian-rock albums go “gold, frankincense, and myrrh.” And Cartman gets his ass kicked in the end and Butters flips him off and says “Fuck you, Eric.” (The “fuck” is bleeped out, of course.)
10.28.03 (again)
Yeah, I know what I said, but I found another Gustav and Daria blog entry and it’s a pretty good one...
10.28.03
So we didn’t go to the Olive Garden last night. Actually, we didn’t go anywhere—we stayed home and had roast lamb. WITH mint jelly this time, FINALLY!!! Lamb just doesn’t taste good without mint jelly. It’s weird that the only thing I’ll put mint jelly on is lamb. I mean, has anyone ever heard of a peanut butter and mint jelly sandwich?
And now it’s time for: Fun with Amazon.com Reviewers. Yee hee hee. Oooh, I get to wax bitingly sarcastic! Yippee!! This is gonna be fun. This guy reviewed one of the CDs I recently purchased, “London Calling” by the Clash. Spelling and grammatical errors (all his) are left intact because it’s funnier that way. All my comments are in [brackets.]
London's Calling....And Their [you know, dictionaries can be your friend at times] calling You Wimps!!, October 13, 2003
Reviewer: Fred Dursts Numba One Fann (see more about me) from The Ghetto's of Guam
Yo everyone, whut is up?? I love all things heavy and hardcore, and I'm always looking to add to my collection!! One day I was watching a countdown about the all time greatest albums and this album was pretty high up there!! I had never heard it at all, but since they said it wuz [yes, you certainly do need to buy yourself a dictionary] a great punk album I went out and bought it and was hoping it was like my favorite punk bands, Good Charlotte and Blink 182!! [You need help already, dude...] Oh my gawd, I've never been soooo let down, it wasn't the high octane punk I've come to expect from great tRL bands, it had annoying dub beats, weird bass patterns, and some tunes even had horns!!! How lame is that anyway?? [Oooh. Horns. Funny how I have an incredible urge to whack you over the head with a trumpet.] Don't be fooled by the album cover, they may try and look tough by smashing their guitars, but inside the music is really wimpy. [Should there be a “Don’t judge a CD by its cover” adage? o_O] Also, their is no rap or hip-hop at all on this album, and thats really lame!! [So go buy a P. Diddy CD, and quit complainin’.] Come on guys, get with the program, will ya?? If you want the tRU hardcore and heavy stuff, please stick with Limp Bizkit, [sucks] Linkin Park [sucks], Good Charlotte [sucks except for that one song which the radio overplayed so I got sick of it], Blink 182 [sucks], Staind [sucks], Puddle Of Mudd [sucks], Trapt [sucks], and that cute punk princess, Avril Lavigne!! [You must be about 12 if you think Avril is punk. I’m not purporting to know very much about punk music but I do know that SHE IS NOT.] Avoid this album, its old, tired, and lifeless!! On top of that, they've never been on TRL which isn't a good sign!! [You mean there are bands out there that MTV doesn’t want me to hear? Oh, I’m shocked! TRL DIDN’T EXIST IN 1979, GENIUS. Neither did MTV itself for that matter...] And remember, the prince of punk is Good Charlotte's singer, and the princess is the one and only Avril Lavigne!! [Oh, if anything ever warranted a “bwa ha ha,” that is it. So: BWAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA!!!] Peace out.... [Yeah. You’re definitely 12.]
10.27.03
New page, new archive. Okay, no more bitching about the loss of Gustav and Daria (and Jayn-Jayn) unless I’m in the mood for it, in which case you people are gonna have to suffer.
Today’s my brother’s birthday—he’s 19. I’m pretty sure we’re going to the Olive Garden, because we go there every year for my brother’s birthday. I hate the Olive Garden. There’s only one thing there that I’ll eat and that’s the cheese ravioli. Normally I LOVE Italian food, but they don’t—I guess they don’t prepare it the way I like it, is all. Plus, the commercials grate on my nerves. There used to be an Italian restaurant that I always went to on my birthday called Nonna Emilia’s, and it was THE. BEST. ITALIAN. EVAR. Not kidding. Except they put mushrooms in their manicotti, and I hate mushrooms, so when I ordered the manicotti—which was my favorite thing there—I always had to order it sans mushrooms. Also, that’s the place where I first tried and learned to like calamari—fried squid. I thought I would hate it, because several years before, at outdoor school in 6th grade, I’d tried squid and it wasn’t prepared right and I HATED it, because it was all rubbery and chewy. But the calamari was delicious. I liked the tentacles the best, although the look of them kind of freaked me out.
I’m really loving those Clash and Elvis Costello CDs I bought the other day. I’m sort of alternating between them when I want to listen to one. Right now I’ve got Elvis Costello’s “Black and White World” in my mental jukebox. “I was looking at the black and white world ~ Trying to name some pin-up ~ Those days she was just a beautiful girl ~ Now she’s framed and hung up,” etc. And ooooh. Track 4—“Hateful”—on the Clash CD... it’s like: “Must ... control ... incredible urge ... to dance ... like ... maniac!! Control ... failing ... failing ...” *twitch* *dance dance dance*
Heh, heh. I kinda like these red and green lines underneath things I’ve spelled “wrong” (i.e. that aren’t in MS Word’s dictionary) or that are grammatically questionable. It’s all Christmassy.