Dear Jason...
<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=90 BGCOLOR="#FF0000" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#FFCC66" FACE="Arial" ><B>jasonchewins.co.uk </B></FONT><B> | </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="jasonchewins.co.uk "><U><B>home</B></U></A></div> <bR> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=210 BGCOLOR="#0000FF" TEXT="#080000" background="02ad2c00egayea.png"> <div> <I><IMG SRC="0bca71b0.gif" border=0 width="167" height="27" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></I></div> <div> <IMG SRC="0cd72710.png" border=0 width="114" height="113" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=390 BGCOLOR="#0000FF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <I>Dear Jason...</I></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <I>Throughout our lives we all encounter good times as well as bad. During the good </I></div> <div> <I>times, it's always nice to have friends there to enjoy them with us. We also need our </I></div> <div> <I>friends there for the bad times too and, unfortunately, not everyone has that luxury. But </I></div> <div> <I>don't despair, because Dr. Jason Chewins, a psychologist from Detroit who has worked </I></div> <div> <I>with, among others, the bloke who played John-boy in the Waltons, is here to soothe </I></div> <div> <I>away your pain. Or failing that, have a bloody good laugh at your pathetic life.</I></div> <bR> <bR> <div> Dear Jason</div> <div> I'm not sure what to do. I made all these stupid promises to people and now </div> <div> I find I can't keep them. I tried to divert the attention with a series of mindless </div> <div> ramblings in the local press in the hope they would believe me to be insane and forgive </div> <div> me but these have all failed. Also, I stand to loose large amounts of money. Please </div> <div> help.</div> <div> G Westley, (address given although it was just a brand name and had no ties </div> <div> to any particular location)</div> <bR> <div> Jason Says</div> <div> This is indeed a difficult situation. I remember a similar problem a few years </div> <div> back in the US when a friend of mine got chewing gum stuck in his hair. My advice to </div> <div> you would be the same as I gave to him: apply a generous helping of tuna mayonnaise </div> <div> sandwich filling every 15 minutes for about 3 days. If the problem persists, consult your </div> <div> doctor.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> Dear Jason</div> <div> Fancy a pint?</div> <div> M. Butler, Aldershot</div> <bR> <div> Jason Says</div> <div> Now come on Butts, this is a serious problem page where people come to </div> <div> face up to any issues that may be troubling them. It's a place for serious discussions, </div> <div> and this is no time to be thinking of alcohol. You should be ashamed of yourself. </div> <div> Yeah, all right.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> Dear Jason</div> <div> This fanzine is rubbish. I've travelled for 3 hours straight from work to read </div> <div> this and it's crap. No effort shown, nothing. Linesman! Get a grip! </div> <div> Quentin, North Stand </div> <bR> <div> Jason Says</div> <div> Shut up. And shave off that moustache.</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>