Magazine
for Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy
Human Trinity Hypnotherapy and Kissing Frogs
By Chaplain Paul G.Durbin Ph.D
The foundation of my work in hypnotherapy is based upon
what I refer to as the human trinity, thus - Human Trinity Hypnotherapy.
Whether you are a Christian or not, you would probably know what I meant
if I referred to the Holy Trinity: God, the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit.
I also believe in the human trinity. Each of us is a trinity within himself
or herself. I am a trinity, you are a trinity. We are made up of body,
mind and spirit. We are physical, emotional and spiritual beings. These
three aspects of our being are so different and yet so integrated that
one part of our human trinity cannot be affected without having some effect
on the other two. If you have a physical problem, it affects you emotionally
and spiritually. That does not mean that if you are sick physically, you
are also sick emotionally and spiritual, but that they are affected. A
person with an illness may grow emotionally and spiritually as a result
of the illness.
It may be for good or bad but all three are affected.
If you have an emotional problem, it affects you physically and spiritually.
If you have a spiritual problem, it affects you physically and emotionally.
Accepting the theory of the human trinity, one understands that life is
more than just being alive mentally and physically. To illustrate this,
I would like to share two of my favourite stories which I use often. If
you have heard me tell these stories before, remember that repetition is
a learning tool both in and out of hypnosis.
An aeroplane doesn't cease to be an aeroplane when it
sits in the hanger or takes off along the runway, but its true nature becomes
apparent only when it is airborne. Similarly, a person is a human being
even when he or she is functioning only on the physical and psychological
planes, but one shows his or her essential humanness when he rises to the
spiritual dimension.
A man asked his three daughters how much they loved him.
The oldest of them replied that she loved him more than all the gold and
silver in the world. The father was noticeably pleased with her answer,
threw his arm around her and thanked her. The second daughter responded,
"I love you more that the most valuable jewels in the world." The father
was pleased with her response so threw his aims around her and thanked
her. The third and youngest daughter said, "I love you better than salt."
The man was not especially elated with her remark and dismissed it lightly
as an indication of her immaturity. Nevertheless, he put his arms around
her and thank her. His wife, their mother, overhearing the conversation,
left salt out of her husband's next meal. As he ate, he was thus confronted
with the deep meaning of his youngest daughter's remark. She was saying
that he was the flavouring and spice of her life. Developing the spiritual
aspect is to life what salt is to food. The spiritual dimension gives flavour
and seasoning to life. When one is functioning on all levels (physical,
emotional and spiritual), life is more productive and more healthy.
I consider myself to be very fortunate for I am a hospital
chaplain who is a certified hypnotherapist and Director of Pastoral Care
at Pendleton Memorial Methodist Hospital in New Orleans, La. I have full
support for the use of hypnotherapy in my pastoral ministry by both the
Administration and Medical Staff of our hospital. I receive many consults
from our doctors for both inpatient and outpatient hypnotherapy. I am consulted
for smoking, weight control, stress management, personal problems, and
pain management. Most of my inpatient consults are for pain management
and most outpatients come to stop smoking. There are many approaches to
hypnotherapy. I admit that I have learned something from many schools of
hypnotherapy and some of each may be found in how I use hypnotherapy. Regardless
of what you call your particular activity in hypnotherapy, we are all frog
kissers.
Do you remember the fairy tale about a frog? Once upon
a time there was a frog but he wasn't really a frog. He was a prince who
looked and felt like a frog. Only the kiss of a beautiful young maiden
could save him but since when do cute girls go around kissing frogs? So
there he sat -- an unkissed prince in frog from. Though the situation seemed
to be hopeless, miracles do happen. One day a beautiful young woman grabbed
him and gave him a big kiss right on the lips. Crash -- Boom -- Zap! There,
he was kissed -- a frog before, a prince after.
As hypnotherapists, our calling is to symbolically kiss
frogs. We kiss frogs not with our lips but by listening to them and then
by using suggestion, imagery and healing stories to help people make changes
in their lives.
The mind, conscious and subconscious, is greatly influenced
by suggestion. Stop for a moment to consider the power of words as one
means of conveying suggestion. By words, the preacher proclaims the Good
News of Faith. By words, the politician conveys his agenda. By words the
sales person sells his goods. By words, the teacher teaches. By words,
thoughts are imparted from one person to another or from one generation
to another. There are words that make us laugh and words that make us cry,
words that bless and words that condemn, words that wound and words that
heal. The old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will
never hurt me." is a false statement.
By understanding the suggestibility of the client, you
help establish rapport, which is very important. Some people respond better
to direct suggestions, while others respond best to indirect suggestion.
Most of us can respond to both direct and indirect suggestions but generally
have a preference for one or the other. Because I believe in the importance
of an individual's suggestibility, I have everyone who comes into my office
for counselling fill out the John Kappas suggestibility questionnaire which
will generally give an indication of their dominate response. Our suggestibility
usually comes from our primary care giver (usually our mother). If the
child experiences his mother as saying what she means and meaning what
she says, he will usually be more responsive to direct suggestions. If
the verbal and non-verbal parts of her communication do not express the
same thing, the child begins to search for the real meaning. They begin
to look for the implied meaning rather that what is actually said.
Balanced suggestibility comes when in certain areas,
the mother is consistent in what she says while in other areas, she gives
conflicting messages. I tend to be close to the middle with a slight dominance
for direct suggestion, for when my mother told me to do something, then
I should do it. If she told me not to do something, I knew she meant it.
There was a cause and effect. Mother laid down the law and I followed it
or I reaped the consequences. On the other hand, mother could be indirect
in her request. She might say to me, "Paul, don't you think you should
go visit Mrs. Smith. She is sick and she gave you a Christmas present last
year." Now that sounds like I have a choice but I did not. She meant for
me to go see Mrs. Smith and if my answer to her was "No.", she would let
me know in no uncertain terms that I was to go.
The use of imagery with suggestions intensifies the suggestion
and makes it more effective. Jonathan Edwards said, "The ideas and images
in men's minds are the invisible power that constantly governs them." The
wise old man of Proverbs once wrote, "Whatever a person thinketh in his
heart so is he." (Proverbs 23:7) Einstein said, "Imagination is more important
than knowledge." and "Imagination is your preview of coming events."
One of the characteristics of the subconscious mind is
that which is expected, good or bad, tends to be realized. The most effective
imaging is that which communicates with the subconscious "in the heart".
The mental picture you hold of yourself is what directs and controls you.
You can use your imagination to improve yourself or destroy yourself. The
subconscious mind seeks to meet your deepest needs, expectations, and desires.
A point to remember, the subconscious can not tell the difference between
a wish and a fear. The subconscious interprets a fear the same as a wish.
Fear (negative expectation) is our greatest enemy. Faith
(positive expectation) is our greatest ally. Jesus in Mark 11:14 seems
to be saying that imagery with prayer cause the prayer to be more effective.
"Therefore I say unto you that anything whatsoever you desire, when you
pray, believe ye have received it and you shall have it." Until there is
an image in the mind, there can be no reality. All great inventions began
with a thought in the mind. The inventor was able to visualize the invention
before he could bring it to reality. The same is true of great music, great
writing, great living. If you want to change your life, your lifestyle,
your habits, you must change the image that your mind holds. When working
with a person for weight control, I have the person imagine or visualize
themselves the size they want to be, as if they were that size and to imagine
stepping on the scale and being their desired weight. I request that they
do this each night just before going to sleep and each morning just after
they wake up from sleep.
I should point out that imagery and day-dreaming are
different from one another. Imagery motivates one to accomplish that which
is visualized. The day dreamer is satisfied with the dream and is not motivated
to accomplish the goal. Imagery is not wishful thinking but hopeful expectation
of what is desired with the motivation to believe it to reality.
I addition to direct suggestion, indirect suggestion,
and imagery; I often tell a story to bring home a point or to allow the
client hearing the story to come to his/her own meaning of the narrative.
Jesus often spoke in parables or stories which still bring to mind vivid
pictures which tell us something important about life. The parables can
have a different meaning to us at different times in our lives.
Healing stories can motivate us, cause us to recall some
memory from the past and to embrace new ideas in the present. Stories can
be used to sidestep some of the resistance to new ideas and actions that
direct suggestion may create. To illustrate the use of suggestion, imagery
and healing stories, I share with you a session with an 11 year old who
I shall call "Ned".
Ned was referred to by a psychologist. Ned, his mother
and father came to me in December. Ned had not spent a full day in school
during the entire school year. He had spent time in a psychiatric hospital
without any change in behaviour. He had cried all the way from his home
in Mississippi because he was afraid that he was going to be admitted to
the hospital. While Ned was taking a suggestibility questionnaire, his
mother was in my office talking to me about the situation. When Ned finished
the questionnaire, I told him that he could have either or both of his
parents with him and he asked for his father to be with him. I said to
Ned, "You don't want to be here, do you?" "No sir." he replied. "I can
understand your not wanting to be here for you are uncertain what will
happen. I can assure you that you will not be admitted to the hospital
and you will return to Mississippi with your parents today. I want to talk
to you and explain something about hypnosis so that you can see that it
will be a very pleasant experience. Ned said that would be OK. "First,
I would like for you to tell me in your own words why you are here today."
He told me a story similar to his mother's account. I asked if he were
afraid of his teacher or of any of the students at his school and answered,
"No." I asked if I could show him something and he said, "Yes." I picked
up a paper sack from my desk drawer. I removed a block of wood with a nail
standing in the middle of the block and took out six nails. I asked Ned
if he thought I could balance all those nails on the one standing in the
middle of the block. I told him that I could not tie them together or magnetize
them so they would stick together. Ned did not think I could balance the
nails. I put them together in the appropriate manner, picked up the nails
and they balanced on top of the nail in the block. Ned was impressed. I
concluded the balancing act with the statement, "As I could balance the
nails which looked impossible, you can learn to do something which seems
impossible to you, such as going and staying in school. (Why was all this
done? To establish rapport and to give helpful suggestions for the removal
of the problem.)
I ask him if he had seen the "Wizard of Oz" which had
been on TV a few nights before and he had. I shared with him the first
time I saw the "Wizard of Oz" and that since then I had learned some important
lessons from the movie. I first saw the movie many years ago when I was
in seventh grade in Avenger, Texas. We got a whole afternoon off school
to go to the local movie house to see it.
You remember the story of the tin man who wanted a heart,
of the cowardly lion who wanted courage, of the scarecrow who wanted a
brain, and of Dorothy who wanted to return to Kansas.
The Wizard convinced each of them that they had what
they wanted. They believed the Wizard and their wish became a reality.
The Wizard turned out to be just an ordinary man with extraordinary ability
to engender belief to help people change their lives by changing their
beliefs about themselves. The three who believed had many opportunities
to show their newly discover talents.
The scarecrow became brilliant, the tin woodsman became
kind and helpful, and the lion was fearlessly courageous. They knew they
could do things because the Wizard had told them so and they believed him.
You have within you the solutions to your fear of going to school and you
can release those fears if you believe you can. Instead of tears running
down his face, there was a smile. I talked to him about hypnosis being
a very relaxing experience in which he could use his imagination to help
him make the changes in his life which he desired.(I made that statement
as indication that he was in control and would make only changes which
he desired to make.) I asked him if he would do an experiment with me and
he said he would like that. I did the "taste the lemon" exercise and "hand
heavy, hand light" exercise. He was impressed with the results of these
exercises so I asked him to open his eyes and he did. I asked him to stand
up and he did. I ask him to stand on his head and he looked at me as if
I was crazy. I quickly said, "and you would not stand on your head if you
had been in hypnosis. You follow my suggestions until I gave you a suggestions
which seemed foolish to you. The same is true when you are in hypnosis."
I asked him if he was willing to use hypnosis to help
him overcome his fear and he said, "Yes." I asked him to sit on the recliner
and he did. His mother told me that he like going on boat rides with his
dad on the canal near their home. I asked him if he would like to go on
an imaginary boat ride with his father and he nodded "Yes." I told him
he could keep his eyes open or he could shut them. He closed his eyes.
I developed the imagery of the boat ride and he felt
tired so he could lie down in the boat because his dad would be keeping
the boat on course. I proceeded with a progressive relaxation exercise
using the movement of the boat for deepening. I followed with a desensitization
exercise by having him lift a finger at the first feeling of fear, then
taking a deep breath and blow the fear out as he exhaled. I went step by
step from waking up in the morning, getting dressed, going to school, walking
to the schoolhouse door, going to the class room, teacher beginning the
class, and went through the school day with the beginning and ending of
each class until finally returning home in the afternoon. I went over each
area until there was no finger signal of fear.
I concluded the session with the story of the Green Dragon,
which I adapted from Lee Wallas's book, Stories For The Third Ear . (I
use this with adults as well as children after desensitization. I also
have a stuffed Green Dragon about a foot high which I show them after coming
out of hypnosis which has always brought a smile to the face of the adult
or the child. Those of you in the class may want to close your eyes and
let this story speak its special message to you.)
Once upon a time, there was a little boy (If a girl or
woman, I change the sex to a little rich girl.) who was very, very rich.
He was so rich that he had a special room with all his toys and treasures.
Now you would think that he would be a very happy little boy but such was
not the case. Actually the little boy was very sad because although he
had many toys and many treasures, there was one thing that spoiled everything
for him. Sitting in the corner of the toy room was a large green dragon.
This dragon never seemed to take its eyes off the little boy. No matter
what the little boy was doing, whenever he looked up, there was the green
dragon watching him. This would spoil his fun, for he was very much afraid
of the dragon. He was afraid that the green dragon would someday attack
him. As a result of worrying about the green dragon, he felt so very, very
unhappy.
Some days he would dance and play very hard; he would
whirl around, laugh very loud, and talk a blue streak in the hope that
he could forget about the dragon in the corner. But no matter how loudly
he laughed, how hard he played, or how fast he danced and whirled and jumped;
when he stopped, he would look in the corner and there would be the green
dragon still staring and looking very, very dangerous. The little boy would
begin the day playing with his toys, happily trying to forget about the
green dragon, and each day he would end the day sitting quiet and sad with
tears running down his face. One day, a friend came to visit the boy. The
friend looked around the room with his eyes opening wider and wider and
said, "Oh, what wonderful toys." He ran around; picking up this toy and
that toy and playing and clapping his hands, but the little rich boy felt
anxious and worried. He kept glancing at the green dragon. Suddenly, to
his horror, he saw his friend run over to the green dragon and sit astride
the dragon's back. The little boy cried, "No don't do that!" His friend
responded, "Why not? this is fun." The little boy said, "He is such a fierce
and ugly dragon. Surely, he will harm you. I am so afraid of him." "Ho,
ho, ho," said his friend, "Look at this." He turned the dragon so the little
boy could see and down the back of the dragon was a long, shiny zipper.
The little boy did not know what to make of it. He watched with eyes wide
open, still trembling with fear. The friend said, "Shall I unzip it?" The
little boy replied, "I'm not sure. I am afraid." His friend said, "Nonsense!"
and unzipped the dragon. When he did, the whole dragon suit fell down.
What do you think was there?
The little rich boy himself or rather that part
of him that was so afraid of what he did not understand. Instantly, the
little boy realized that the green dragon was just an extension of himself.
He had been afraid of his own fears. The little boy began to laugh and
his friend joined him in his laughter. The little boy could laugh because
he realized that now he was freed from his fear of the green dragon. Now
he was happy. He played with his toys and had fun with his friend. He realized
that he no longer needed to be afraid of the dragon because he had come
to understand his fears and release them.
I continued with Ned in hypnosis - 'now I wonder if you
might feel a smile coming over your face today as you release your fears.
You have slain your dragon and have been released from your fears and if
is it so, you begin to smile. You may try to hold the smile back but the
harder you try, the bigger the smile becomes. Ned began to smile. I gave
him some self-confidence suggestions and said that he would experience
a cycle of progress as day-by-day, he had more and more confidence in himself'.
I then counted him out of the hypnotic state and suggested that he would
feel very good about himself. He asked, "If I need to, can I come back
to see you?" and I responded, "Yes, of course." He went home much happier
than he was when he arrived at my office.
To those who oppose hypnosis on religious grounds, I remind
them of the words of Jon Baptist Van Helmont , "Hypnosis is a universal
agent and it a Paradox only to those who are disposed to ridicule everything
and who ascribe to the influence of Satan all those phenomena which they
can not explain."
Hypnosis is a valuable tool to help people improve their
lives. By using Human Trinity Hypnotherapy, the physical, emotional and
spiritual are highlighted to help people improve themselves. If you listen
to the broadcast of a baseball, football, or basketball game, you have
surely heard the announcer say, "It's a brand new ball game." If you are
a sports fan, you know the announcer means that the game has been tied.
It is like starting over again. The past is still there, but we can begin
again where we are. In a baseball game, if a team ties the score in the
sixth inning, they do not go back to the first inning to start over again
for they keep playing from where they are. So it is with life, we begin
were we are. With hopeful expectation and new faith comes a brand new ball
game.
Though hypnosis is not a magic cure for all our problems,
it can be a powerful tool to help us live a more abundant life. I conclude
this article with one of my favorite healing stories.
'The Eagle And Chickens With Two Endings' - A man found
an eagle's egg and put it in the nest of a barnyard hen. The eagle egg
hatched along with the brood of chicken chicks and eventually grew up with
them. All it's life, the eagle did what the barnyard chickens did, thinking
he was a barnyard chicken. He scratched the earth for worms and insects.
He clucked, cackled, would thrash his wings and fly a few feet into the
air.
Years passed and the eagle grew into adulthood. One day
he saw a magnificent bird high above him in the cloudless sky. It glided
in graceful majesty among the powerful air currents with scarcely a beat
of its strong golden wings.
(First ending) - The eagle looked up in awe. "What's
that?" he asked. "That's an eagle, the king of birds." said his neighbor.
"He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth-we're chickens." So the
eagle lived and died a chicken because that is what he thought he was.
(Second ending) - The eagle looked up in awe. "What's
that?" he asked. "That's an eagle, the king of birds." said his neighbor.
"He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth-we're chickens." The eagle
went through the day thinking of the eagle flying high. The next day the
eagle went down to the pond and saw his reflection in the water. He began
to test his wings, flying further and further each day. After a few weeks,
he was flying high and gliding just as if he were an eagle. He noticed
that he looked a lot like an eagle. He realized that he was an eagle. With
that thought, he flew above his past and his environment.
KEEP ON KISSING FROGS AND FLYING HIGH LIKE AN EAGLE!
Copyright © 1998 to the author. Reprinted with
kind permission
Further articles by Chaplain
Paul G Durbin Ph.D.
Influences contributing to the development of Human Trinity
Hypnotherapy
Chaplain Paul G. Durbin, Ph.D. Director
Of Pastoral Care Pendelton Memorial Methodist Hospital 5620 Read Blvd.
New Orleans, LA 70127. (504) 244-5430. FAX: (504) 244-5495. EMAIL: pdurbin@acadiacom.net
Author of Kissing Frogs: Practical Uses of Hypnotherapy 1996 Kendall/Hunt
(800) 228-0810 ($19.95 plus shipping/handling $4.00 for first book $.50
for each additional book. 5 or more books $15.00 each plus shipping/handling)
Web site: http://www.pdurbinhypnosis.webprovider.com
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