Domovoy (Russian magazine)

October 10, 2003

BELLISSIMA!

by Maria Vardenga

The meeting was appointed in the dressing room of Edouard VII Theatre two hours before the start of the play “Sarah Bernhart” where Fanny acts in duet with renowned actor Robert Hirsh. Not wanting to be late, I found myself at the theatre square at five. It was very quiet, no sound around. Somewhere under the very roof a man appeared smoking a cigar and making outlandish circles of smoke. It started raining. “Who are you waiting for?”  asked the man sympathetically, his glance descending from the clouds down on me. “Fanny Ardant!”  I declared pompously. “O bellissima!!!”  he reacted immediately.

Since the rain was not going to stop and I didn't have an umbrella, I found nothing better to do than to go into the nearest store. In order to kill time I started fumbling in the pile of bright-colored T-shirts. Suddenly, an amazingly gracious thin hand sank in another stack of clothes right next to me. It's not a place for one with such rings on her fingers, I thought, and turned around to take a look at the woman the hand belonged to. I didn't see the face – it was hidden with the pointed old-fashioned hat and massive black round-shaped sunglasses. But I recognized it immediately. Our glances crossed. “Madam,"  I said in a whisper, "it's me whom you will be meeting in a half an hour.” The eyelashes shuddered under the veil. Her pointed finger rose up to her lips. “Shss," in the same whisper she answered, "this half an hour I'm talking to myself”.

Half an hour later, I entered the personal dressing room of Fanny Ardant, which was full of flowers. A quiet piano music was playing in this half-lit room breathing with perfumes. She was sitting in the chair in front of the mirror. She seemed very thin, light and impetuous. “You did understand me, didn't you?” she said, replacing the greeting and holding out beautiful hands to me. “You did forgive me, didn't you?” and smiled with the mouth that drives men crazy.

Maria Vardenga: Is it Kissin playing? (Instead of answering I asked in order to slow down the excitement a little bit.)

Fanny Ardant: My God! (she exclaimed immediately) You recognize him!

I know this part very well, I also enjoy listening to it.

FA: And me, you know, I adore Russian music. And Russian literature.

I wouldn't be surprised if you say you are reading something in Russian now.

FA: No, I'm reading a very interesting book by Eric Schimtt. It's called “L'Evangile selon Pilate”. Eric Schimtt adopted a play about Sarah Bernhart... It's not a religious dispute, it's an intellectual dispute... But it is terrifically (she inhales with the nose) ...strong! Because no matter if you are Catholic or Orthodox or Jew, you still can understand all the wonder of Christ. I'm deeply involved in it.

(The sound of her voice! From low and hoarse to sonorous and deep, from whisper to shriek... This woman was born for seducing...She seduces everything that happens to be along her way – onlookers, mirrors, chairs, theater curtain... She is not breathing, she is inhaling and exhaling... She is not speaking, she is bowling you over her...and she finishes phrases the same way she finishes them on stage – with the intonation, waiting for applause...)

Let me start with a banal question: Tonight you are playing Sarah Bernhart, so how close is this drama – the drama of a strong woman – to you personally?

FA: Hmm... let's define the idea of “a strong woman”. A sort of power, ability not to cry, never complain about anything, always go ahead in opposite to everything... But this is not even an indication of our real power, these are just our attempts to struggle against our natural weaknesses. Oh, one should never take a strong woman as the strong woman. Woman, she is always a slave of the image she has created. And this is a swamp you are drawing into. This is a drama. Because in the image of strength, you are so solitary... You are alone under this mask... Because you can never...

...share your life with somebody else?

FA: Yes. Because a strong woman is considered to be self-made and therefore unnatural, and kind of illegal... But I would say Sarah Bernhart was very brave in another way. She had a lot of courage to show the world the strength she was deprived of.

Is it easy for you to reveal feelings you personally have never experienced?

FA: Hmm...I've got a rich imagination. But I have to love someone. I have to love, in order to play. I can love the character, I can love the events very weird and alien to me personally. Love them as a dog loves human's voice. They penetrate inside me and make me able to love a murderer...having understood the motive of his life. Having discovered him... A man (inhales) should be touched and smelled. One need to feel the dark scent of his pain and his sin. (enchanted smile)... In fact it's the sins the creator has to love in a character he embodies. A very good example is Dostoyevsky, who adores his heroes. Due to his love, a reader adores not only Myshkin, it's easy to love him, but also Rogozhin, the one which is hard to love.

I don't love Rogozhin at all. I have mercy on him, but not love...

FA: And I love (laughs hoarsely)...I love everything that leads to self-destruction and everybody who dares doing it...

Is it a sort of love connected with the kindred souls?

FA: Yes. Because naturally I'm a pessimist. I'm a person – don't know if you understand that – of dark thoughts (charming smile). But it doesn't hamper me to be very energetic. I'm an active pessimist.

One who often cries?

FA: Oh no! No. Tears, are jewelry. With the tears one can change the relationships. Give back love... Give birth to love. This is (smile) ...These are diamonds not for frequent use.

Have you seen an example of an absolutely happy couple in real life?

FA: Yes. It was my parents. They adored each other all their lives. I grew up in a complete, true, reciprocal love between a man and a woman. My grandparents, for instance, were cousins, so they had to ask the Pope to let them marry. After father's death my mother put on mourning and didn't take it off until her own death. She was not even 50 then, but everything was over for her.

Children are said to repeat the family story of their parents...

FA: Yes, but look...on the contrary, I was never married. And it was so because I could not imagine a marriage even a little bit comparable with the one of my parents.

You mean you never had your relationships blessed by the Church?

FA: I did not get any papers to prove my relationships, no papers from city government either. I don't want to marry in a mayoralty and divorce in the court. I don't want anybody else to be somehow involved in my relationships. I have experienced a lot in my life. I had a lot of love. Hurtful break-ups. But all this never referred to the sacred word “marriage”. Because marriage is a relationship which is impossible to break-up. It is a creation of the world which can not be turned back.

Then I have another banal question on the subject of contradiction between an actress and a woman. For instance, woman – mother...

FA: It's not a mental contradiction, but a temporary one. Theater, cinema – all that needs total involvement, complete refusal from the material things if you work seriously. But the spirit of a mother, the heart of a mother never contradicts a professional actress. This is life itself, in all its contradictions. You are offered a role. And for 3-4 months you don't even remember you are a mother. On the stage you may perform a woman who hates children. But it doesn't touch your own maternal feelings at all. There is no contradiction inside of me. I think this is a horrible cliché – to consider an actress as an accessible woman, who has lots of men, whisky and champagne in the night... It's not like this at all. An actress is a creature that appears from nowhere as the light turn off. There she is. She is here...she is there, she dies and gets reborn, the lights are on again and it's not her anymore. It's just a tired woman standing in front of you thinking about dinner for her children. The same woman as the others sitting in the chairs. The woman with her story of fortunes and misfortunes, with her story of joy, love, her story of betrayal, her fear of old age...

I cannot believe there were the stories of unhappy love in your life!

FA: But there were! Yes! I was suffering hard and therefore I thank God every day for being an actress. Yes, yes. Because...it must be difficult to understand. Unhappy love is like a knife stabbed into your heart. And it hurts when you get up in the morning or go to bed in the evening. Your body becomes painful. And you cannot get rid of it even for a second. And suddenly you are called to shoot. Or to play. You are an actress, and the only quality of an actress is to be staged, to play. Theater and cinema give you a fantastic chance to forget everything for a couple of hours. Not to forget it completely but to get inside the skin of another person, who cannot feel your pain. This is so delightful.

Do you remember the moment you realized you are an actress?

FA: It was in my youth. I used to go to the Opera very often. It was like a madness. (Inhales) I felt the theater by scent. Theater...it was the scent of my fate. And when I was inhaling it, I was shuddering. I grew up in a very strict, “proper” family. Very organized, prosperous and middle-class family. But I always knew one day I would find myself on the another side of the barricades. I didn't want to fight. But I did want to be an actress. I remember reading “Figaro” and telling my brothers that one day I will play a countess. I once told my parents about my dream. Mother considered it as a whim. She responded that I should go to University first and get a normal profession. And then I went to University as I adored my parents. Graduated from Political Science...

It was only a three-year course. The other specialties needed 4-5-6 years of education. So I decided: I have to do it if I love my parents. Three years later I showed them my diploma and said: look, here it is, I have done it for you and I'm going to the theater. And I left. The beginning was very, very tough. Afflictions were following me. My parents kept repeating: Fanny, you had been born into a prosperous family, you cannot live the life you live – poor, miserable one. But I laughed in response. I said: don't you see, I'm indifferent to everything material? This is my choice of life with no material in it, when you do not know if there is some money for dinner today in your pocket. I knew I could go through it. I felt very strong having my essence, my “me” with me. If you want, I'll put it differently: I felt very powerful with the power of my madness. Then mother was worried about my marriage, that I didn't want to marry. She used to say: Fanny, you need to marry a man from our circle of society, who will take care of you, your children, provide you with good profits. And I laughed again. O God! Abode. Profits. Stability. (whistles)

Do you want to say you were never afraid of solitude?

FA: No, I was not.

Never?

FA: Never. I never feared anything. I always just imagine the worst possibility in order to put up with my fear. Oh no, fear is not going to subdue me! (pause) Even when I was losing my closest ones – no, I was not afraid of death. Because on top of the delight as well as on the bottom of sufferings, I am “theirs”. It's like playing poker with your destiny. The fate tells you: Do you want to play? You answer: yes. You are asked again: Do you know that you may win, but also may loose? Yes, yes. – so are you still going to play? And, shuddering, you accept the challenge: Yes. Fate tells you: Go ahead! And then everything depends on how strong you are and if you have enough will in order to overcome the tremble...

When I entered the world of theater it was the same game. I knew it was going to be difficult. This is a world with its own rules and laws. A very cruel world, where it's very easy to plunge into despair. The world that accepts a crazy desire of success only. The world where that one may be scorned, poor, unhappy... But I took the challenge – and I had to go on. Yes, my start was very hard to bear. But we were talking about difficulties which reinforce a country. Young years spent in overcoming difficulties – it also reinforced something in you. Later you look at that like at some miracle.

How did you spent your first serious money?

FA: I bought a small black dress by Chanel. Very beautiful one. I had been dreaming about it for a long time passing by the shop window. No, no, all those trials were very right. I had no money, but I played Rasin, Clodel, Rostan and was so full with what I was playing that I did not suffer. Of course I wanted to take a taxi sometimes, but it was just a little sorrow – no more then that. I lived not here...I lived on the stage.

Tell me about your children.

FA: I've got three daughters. The oldest is 26, then 19 and 13. The oldest is engaged in art, the second one studies criminology, and the one who is 13 (sigh) ...she plays the piano. I always tell her: after all, you can always make a living by a very pleasant method. You can play Bach and earn money by doing THIS. Do you understand? To play the piano is like working as bird on Earth.

You must be satisfied with your choice the third time.

FA: Yes (smile). I always said I had to teach my children two things: to read and to play the piano. The rest of the things a person can do by herself. I didn't succeed with the first two. They gave it up. The third one is the most gifted. And I said: Enough! I can't stand it anymore. I will be a tyrant. She has to become a musician.

Are you a tyrannical mother?

FA: Yes. Mother should be a little tyrannical. Children never study well just because they study well. They study well because their mother has praised or punished them for bad marks. But music and reading are harder because this is work. A child says: Mom, I don't want to read I want to watch TV. Mom, I don't want to practice Chopin on the piano, I want to listen to horrible music on the radio. Because Chopin and Debussy need a lot of hard work...while TV needs nothing. And you have to pressure...for better.

You know there was a famous pedagogue of music in Russia – Stolyarsky. When mothers brought their children to him he examined everybody and asked them: Do you want to be a violinist? No? Does your mother want it? Well, then you will be a violinist...

FA: Yes, absolutely true.  Do you know that Napoleon always wanted to see the mothers of the officers he recruited? And he did not accept the officers whose mothers he could not see... Terrific, isn't it? And music – this is the most responsible business on earth. Music...music spends spirit. It reveals everything. It opens you up to everything. I'm talking about my favorite musicians, orchestras. You know, I experienced a great shock. I was once invited, in Venice, to read text for “Theater of Imagination” by Berlioz. And I was to be in a orchestra pit while reading. It was the first time I had seen a conductor from the other side. And I was petrified. I saw the musicians putting sports papers up on the Berlioz score. And they were reading when they were not playing...You understand? I was horrified. To spend your life getting the right to play, and then - during the process when you are taking part in something important, which is a part of your life – just to read a sports paper...

Does the necessity of being tyrannical influence your relationship with the children somehow?

FA: You know I had an amazing father. A man who was fantastically spiritual, educated, free and independent in estimates. And I had an impossibly authoritative mother. She couldn't cope with me when I was a teenager because it was ineffective to talk to me with the authority of force. I was never married you know. Officially. I never acquainted my mother with my husband. Because I did not want her to interfere in my private life. She was an intelligent person, you know, rationally intelligent. My father died very young. It was a blow, it was he who we associated with as a mother essence. He was love, warmness, abode, gentleness itself – even for my mother... Mother became alone. Some time passed and she died. And after that certain things that had been hidden from me, was revealed. It became obvious. I realized that I adored her. Her authoritarianism that I used to repel desperately, was very respectful to me. I realized she was never destroying me. She was pressuring, but not destroying... For instance, you know, I am a big liar. I lie a lot. And this is due to my mother who would always expose me. We were like Raskolnikov and Porfiry Petrovich. She asked a question, I escaped the answer, but three days later she related everything herself.

Would you be afraid if your daughters chose the profession of an actress?

FA: Every mother is afraid of it. Because an actor – is... it's a kind of hypothetic life, like the life of any composer, musician, poet – every creative person. And every mother wants her daughter to escape pain and suffering...wants her to live a calm stable life. Yes, my mother was in shock when I told her about my desire to leave for the theatre.

And that was right. Just imagine, me for instance, I think the profession of an actress is the best one. But I would never instill in my daughters the desire to be actresses. Because this is a sort of profession that gets born inside of you only, and contrary to everything only. If you have given up  - it's not your occupation. A child should not be pulled into something. Besides, acting...it's something very dark. You can never explain to anyone why you have decided to be an actress. No reasons. Some that you have are false, lies. Because this is a kind of a very, very dark desire. But everything dark is also deep. This is a sub-consciousness. There was a great film on this subject – “Bellissima” by Viskonty with Anna Maniani.

May I ask: do you pray?

FA: I do. I go to sleep with a prayer on my lips. And I cannot wake up. For me getting up is the worst moment. I go to the shower immediately, I stand there for half an hour and only after that I feel like a human being.

Did you ever cook for yourself when you were poor? Do you like doing something with your own hands? Something very material like...

FA: Oh no, no! I hate all that. I can only wash. Because when you are washing the water makes noise, your hands are moving and some unusual contact with reality occurs; the reality that gets cleaned. And it makes me happy. I also like fumbling with books. But as for shopping, cooking, cleaning – oh my! No! House work in general ...

Your home, where is it? Are there any special criteria in choosing your residence?

FA: Very simple. It depends on what can be seen out of the window. I chose the apartment with the windows leading to the garden. It's next to Trocadéro – Palais de Chaillot. There are trees in front of the windows over there. I bought a huge mirror and hung it right opposite the window. So when I look out of the window, I can see the trees, but when I turn around, I can see their reflection. And you know, they have begun cutting the trees recently, can you imagine? They are making a lawn. Horror. I cannot watch their death. It's like watching your friends dying...You know, I have realized lately that when the last tree is cut, I will leave.

You mean you will move?

FA: No. I will leave...leave...forever.

© FANNY ARDANT Online

Translated by Olga Alchakova

Edited by George Sand