Europe might be rich in culture but it's also full of dangerous lunatics, usually armed with loaded cars. We crossed the channel, dodged potholes, donkeys and wobbly onion men to bring you this definitive guide. DRIVING STYLE Enthusiastic but erratic. ROAD MANNERS It's considered highly dangerous and bad form to stop at a pedestrian crossing or stop light in Greece. Drivers behind you woant be expecting it and you might cause a pile up. PRINCIPLE HAZARDS Donkeys. Slow-moving priests. Wizened, back-clad old ladies shuffling along bent double carrying a hundredweight of twigs, while their husbands sit drinking and smoking outside a bar with the local police chief. FAVORITE DRIVING TRICK Riding scooters through heaving crowds of tourists. A popular technique with 15 year-old boys wearing fake Ray-Bans. VEHICLE OF CHOICE Noisy scooters wit a characteristic 'irate bluebottle' engine note. Antique mopeds with no exhaust pipes held together with wire. Rusty, pre-WW2 trucks. Rented Fiat Pandas. Weird 1950s two-stroke, three wheeler pick-ups with bald tyres which havent been changed since the time Nana Mouskouri was last on Top Of The Pops. FAVOURITE MODS Bodywork covered in an inch-thick layer of dust. Religious icons dangling from rear view mirror. RULES OF THE ROA It's illegal to drive unless carrying a fire extinguisher. CHANCES OF SURVIVAL Unpredictable at best. Depends on how friendly you got with the local police chief's teenage daughter after giving her a lift home from the beach on your scooter. |
