David Tench Fan Site

Satire quotes about the new millennium!

"Some people think iPods are good. But anything that can hold 10,000 Britney Spears songs must be evil."

"I think 'The Da Vinci Code' is the most important and something-or-other book of our times ... and I very much look forward to reading it."

"Why are people so worried about nuclear reactors? If X-Men has taught us anything, it's that mutations can be fun & sexy."

"I don't care how nice the song is, I'm not going to catch Ben Lee's disease. I've already had it twice and it takes ages for the rash to go away."

"It's essential to preserve our rainforests. Future generations need something to log."

"If a tree falls in a forest and there's nobody around to hear it, it's probably safe to log a bit more."

"Now we've harpooned the Japanese, let's go wax some Brazilians."

"I always thought the Socceroos were sissys. But what great sissys. Go the Socceroos."

"People wonder whether Britney Spears marriage is in trouble. Does she realise she's married to Kevin Federline?"

"I think gay people should be allowed to marry, but only if they're of opposite gender. For example, Ellen DeGeneres can marry Sir Ian McKellen."

"How long do I have to wait to take the Socceroos flag out of my car window?"

"I've always said the Socceroos have a serious chance of winning the world cup. Now I actually believe it."