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So why was I even browsing the men looking for women adds tonight?! I am not during the right mental state to be purchasing a new love of my well being! I am still reeling through how unexpectedly and unprecedentedly you ripped the land out from under me. It's been a mon single parent in Itea th. For some, that's icing on the cake, for others, we're just gettin' started working on the hurt! You know when I work! My heart still skips a beat and I look out the window everytime I hear the deep-throttle sound associated with a muscle car go by, thinking that it's you, and it under no circumstances is. And I never favored that car anyway. I still have to swallow a lot to avoid tearing up as I shut off the lights and lock up inside my job and head for residence, knowing that another night has passed, where, apparently, you aren't missing me as much as I'm still missing you, and not only do I go dwelling feeling lonely, but I go home feeling like a fool for still having pray. But speaking of hope. I hope you have fun with the new blonde on the side. I hope she was worth their expense. I hope one day I'll wake up and smack other people upside the head for spending all of this down-time so unconstructively. And I know this might make me appear to be a bad person, but I hope she truly cares about you actually, and you truly fuck the woman over too, so she can experience the best way awful it feels being on the other side of the fence, instead to be the "other woman", the free-wheeling temptress. I hope one day you wake right up and really miss me. And I can only pray to God it's certainly caused by too late to do anything regarding this. Because. just because I neglect you, doesn't mean I will let you back. Lord knows I would from a heartbeat, so I guess it's a good thing you've kept your distance at the moment. But looking back on the whole works, it's not even really you that i miss, as much as it's the entire dreams and plans to share others of our life together, that I'm trying to make new plans around at this moment. And having to tip-toe around a hole in doing my heart hurts. Every day. One day this will all make sensation. One day you might genuinely feel bad about what you did. One day, I might even find someone that will make me forget all about you will. PS: to all the men out there that don't want anyone by means of "baggage", guess what. life is certainly baggage, whether you signed up for it or not.

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