as revealed to Keinin La Ganj, by the Great 'O', through Almighty the Duckman.

 

     Many, many, many, many moons ago, before there stood a great wall in China, and a lesser wall of Hadrian, and even before America, there was a people called the Ninja. Much is known about the Ninja, yet little is seen. They wore cloth as black as the night, and grey face paint. Skilled were they in the arts of concealment and stealth.

     Now it came to be that one day, a young Ninja-ka by the name of SquintBelly was sojourning betwixt the fields of China and India. He was sorley vexed, for the Great 'O' had placed upon him many questions.

     "Why am I a Ninja? What do Ninja's do except hide and scare people? What use is leaping out of the shadows to scare people, when all they do is beat us up? And also, what is the meaning of life?"

     Now these questions plagued him muchly. And it came to be that on the 40th day of the 5th month, at tea-time, he walked into a beautiful, green field. The leaves of the plants around him were slender and pointed, but inviting and succulent, shimmering with the glory of 'O'. His eyes lit up, for surely this was a message!

     "Praise you!" he cried. But in doing so, he caused a flutter of wild fowl to scurry across his path. Startled, he dropped his zippo, and a flame caught the buds of the greenery.

     SquintBelly struggled to excape the fumes, but was not panicked. Before long, he began to relax, and he had an idea! And so it was with the power of 'O' within him that he flew clear of the bushes of the field.

     And he carried on flying until he reached heaven, where he sat and conversed with 'O', who was a salmon. And then 'O' became Morpheus, and they did fight in the heavenly Dojo where he was taught the secret of fighting.

     "Behold" said 'O', and flew a circle around SquintBelly, before ramming a heavenly poker through his ear. But SquintBelly feared not, for it was a heavenly poker.

     "I shall name it Ninjitsu, and teach it to all my people" he cried.

     "But useless it shall be unless first the weed of the field they smoke" said 'O', who was now a small green cucumber. "They must first breathe of their Chuck, before they can become a Chuck Ninja."

     And the light of knowledge came upon SquintBelly, and he changed his name to Almighty The Duckman. For he knew that each person has a soul, and that that soul is divided into many parts, and that each part inhabits a different being - an animal, a plant, a tree etc - which is called their Chuck.

Now when a person eats their Chuck animal, or smokes their Chuck plant, or rubs their Chuck tree, then power and knowledge is given to them. They then become Chuck Human.

And if they are special, they get to be a Chuck Ninja.

And that is how - and what, and why - Chuck Ninja.