[OUR NEXT SINGLE PROB'LY WON'T MAKE IT
ONTO THE ZIMBABWEAN TOP 20…]
I'm a psychopath, my name is Bob Mugabe
I'm the number one banana in Zimbabwe
I haven't got a clue
So I blame everything on you
And the whiteys from London to Harare
Bob's your uncle, Bob's your auntie, Bob's your mam and Bob's your dad
Bob's the long-lost relative you never knew you had
He's mean he's rude he's ugly and he's been there too long now
He stole the last election and he's married to a cow
PW's black brother he's the man that time forgot
If ever he does any wrong it's all just a racist plot
The father of the nation who abuses all his kids
He took a wealthy country and he put it on the skids
Down near the tip of Africa there's terror in the air
A tinpot tyrant rules the roost, his country worse for wear
Bob Gabriel Mugabe got a lot to answer for
'Cos he the presidential crook who can defy the law
Nobody goes to work today, cos unemployment's rife
Moyo lies, the press complies, Bob's president-for-life
Of course he won't capitulate, of course he won't resign
There's plenty diamonds in the Congo he still plans to mine
Bob's your uncle, Bob's your auntie, Bob's your mam and Bob's your dad
[ALL?]
Bob chased away the farmers but he's really not that bad
Who cares about economy or the famine or the war
Bob say any time we like we come back we take more!
Democracy Zimbabwe-style - oh what a wondrous thing
Gaddafi pays our petrol bills, Mbeki lets us sing
Bob cook the books, Bob steal the show, Bob make sure that he wins
Some say that Bob the punishment for ALL Africa's sins
Homophobia, megalomania, ignorance and cheek
Hypocrisy, dishonesty, dictator of the week
What human rights? What dignity? The dignity is mine!
Play the game, do things my way, I'm sure we'll get on fine
So what's this "quiet diplomacy"? How long must people weep
It can't be right to let Bob run Zimbabwe in his sleep
'Cos, he's run it into ruin
And he's run it into debt
If only Bob Mugabe HADN"T run for president
The lands would all be planted there'd be food upon the shelf
(The UN AID that DOES arrive he keeps all to himself)
We wouldn't have to queue for fuel, we'd all be pretty safe
From ZANU thugs with bloodshot eyes from smoking too much skyf
What brought him to our country someone throw the bastard out
Perhaps a gay, white farmer could come give the clot a clout
And when his days are over and they've locked him in the cell
We'll bring out our next single - [MUGABE GO TO HELL!!]
REPEAT to end line 4. Repeat line 4 again
[Applause] - "So what's skyf, hey?" Laughter
"Make it before the cops take it"
