I tell you Nehru jackets
are making a comeback!

Dress down fridays, trust a Yank to invent that! And trust your company to import the idea wholesale! Rather than helping you relax for the weekend all it does is cause serious wardrobe anxiety to everybody on the premises. And let's face it, on your wages how can you afford to look stylish and casual?

But fear not, for Callyfornia has the answer. A range of sartorially elegent looks that are not only distinctive and practical but, since they're made by the BBC, are also dirt cheap! Order on-line by sending your credit card details, date of birth and mother's maiden name to: Kerr Avon, Dunswindling, basement flat, 41a Hardup Lane, Kentish Town, London NW5. Please allow 400 spatials for delivery (well you know what the trains are like nowadays!)

	Ooh, suits you sir! Figure-hugging red leather and knee-high matching boots, sir will impress the ladies. Does it squeak sir? Does it emit a high-pitched prrrrrrpph when you touch your toes sir? Ooh, ooh sir, just what the ladies like sir. No there's no fly sir, you'll just have to let it trickle down your leg. The ladies like that in a man sir, suit you!
	Collar up, fringe down, the Eighties revival is GO and in the words of Adam Ant, "Ridicule is nothing to be scared of". This 100 per cent polycotton weave is ideal for showing off your armpit sweat on the tube, whilst the unlined trousers ensure any little "accidents" will certainly be noticed by everyone. The arse picks up dirt like a magnet also. A must-have this season!
	You can never have too much silver. With a nylon polo-neck under this oversized Kit-Kat wrapper you're guaranteed to sweat like a pig and look like a Christmas roast, whilst the static will bugger up all the office printers to boot (Hewlett Packard strongly reccomend this look). Still, at least you won't get knocked over on your bicycle going home. The two quid glue gun and belt; model's own.
	"Scorpios will be Slaves to their friends, whilst I forsee love linked to the letters S and M". A bit of a Mystic Meg ensemble this one, wonderfully offset by the optional tureen full of Bovril. An excellent outfit for getting out of work in meetings; just clutch your turban and cry "Aaargh, I see a Corporate Mission Statement being fulfilled!" They'll send you straight home in a taxi.
	A classic for all seasons, a light nylon buttonless jerkin over BHS pyjamas. You can pul it out of the laundry hamper after three weeks and it'll still look as cack and flimsy as the day it was made. Ideal for napping at your desk, slurping the canteen food, or (as pictured) karaoke in the pub next door. Altogether now "Start spreading the news, ba da da dah da..."
	What to wear if you're working outdoors? It'ssuch a problem! High-neck leather with press-studs will ensure endless fun trying to rip the bugger off when an ant crawls up your leg or your pants start riding up you. It'll also ensure you slide on your arse for miles if you slip on a cow pat. Vila had the right idea here, chamois leather and Kicker boots.Sorted, espect due!
	Oh what a faux-pas! You both turned up in the same polythene cape to work! Thank God these nifty Top Man numbers are reversable. Now, who's going to nip into the bogs and change first? Oh dear, what if your manager's in there taking a whizz! How can you make small talk whilst he's busy dissolving somebody's cigarette end? Women never have these problems!
	There's always one isn't there! Someone who has to let his mother dress him. Why does he insist in standing next to you in the canteen queue though? Your best bet is to pretend to have a fit and get sent home early. Better still, blame it on the nine day old quiche they serve each Friday. With any luck you can wangle the Monday off too!

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