Remakes - everyone's doing remakes. Team Knight Rider, The New Professionals, Fingerbobs 2000, they're all at it. Even our beloved Paul Darrow is, as we speak, struggling through development hell with the sequel to Blake's 7. In 1978 it was a lot easier to get programmes made in the UK; there were only three TV channels and the range of programming wasn't that fantastic. Don't believe me? Click here to see what was on telly back then!

But what if the BBC had put off making Blake's 7 until today? What if the original idea for "The Dirty Dozen in Space" had languished at the bottom of a filing cabinet, forgotten and unloved, until desperate to find something they could flog to the Yanks the BBC finally dusted it off and gave it to some Film School dropout with a goatee and a polo neck saying "Here, make it work!" Well, wonder no more as we reveal...

The Blake's 7 2001 Pitch

N.B. Notes made by BBC executives are in yellow below.

Working title:
Blake's 7
Hmmm, not very spacey. How about "Rocket Quest"?

Conceit:
The Dirty Dozen in Space
I thought there were only seven of them? Weren't the Dirty Dozen all rapists and murderers? How about the Red hand Gang in Space? That fits our demographics better.

Premise:
a/ It is the future.
Good, we can recycle those old Peter Davison Dr Who props.

b/ The galaxy is ruled by an evil Federation.
Do NOT call it a Federation; we don't want a court case from the estate of Gene Roddenbury! Change to Evil Empire so the Americans can understand it.

c/ Roj Blake, a brainwashed ex-freedom fighter recovers his memory, but is framed for molesting children by the Federation after his new followers are brutally shot.
WHAT!!! Are you out of your mind? Firstly NO charges involving children, Secondly NO televised massacre of followers. Thirdly NO brainwashing sequences. We want to sell this bloody thing to children! Rewrite as a noble army captain who refuses to massacre civilians and is condemned.

d/ He is transported to a penal colony.
Change to Distant Prison; don't want to risk upsetting the Australian market!

e/ After a failed mutiny he and two other convicts are sent to capture an abandoned alien spacecraft. They escape, rescue two other prisoners, and set out to destroy the Federation.
Hmmm, bit convoluted. How about he takes over the Transporter and frees all the slaves/prisoners. A few vow to stay with him to rescue more slaves/prisoners of the Evil Empire. You know, like Spartacus. Can we make Blake a gladiator do you think?

f/ They attack a Federation installation and rescue a telepathic alien who joins their crew.
Good, we can make it a funny alien like Data in Star Trek.

g/ Supreme Commander Servalan of the Federation dispatches the vicious Travis to hunt Blake down.
Aided by his Cylon warriors who have laser swords! yes, I see it all now...

h/ They recover an irascible supercomputer which can read all other Federation computers.
Oh, like Tweekie in Buck Rogers! Great idea. But reading all other computers limits the plot potential. Lets just have it and the alien potter around the ship being funny, or making wisecracks at the end of each episode.

I/ This all takes place over 13 fifty minute episodes.
No, this all takes place in the first half hour. Then they go kick some bottom!

Cast:

Roj Blake	Kerr Avon	Jenna Stannis	Olag Gan
Revolutionary freedom fighter. Hmmm, let's have someone kids can identify with - Aardal O'Hanlon's free nowadays, isn't he?	Misanthropic computer genius. An old misery guts eh? No problem, we get Leonard Cohen in. he's old and he's cheap!	Gutsy space smuggler. Let's get Baby Spice, she's unemployable and nobody will mind if she gets shot.	Gentle giant. Ooh, I know, I know! Mr T. He can use his "Travis you crazy fool sucka!" catchphrase.

Vila Restal	Cally	Servalan	Travis
Faint hearted thief. Yes, someone for comic relief whose big mouth gets them into scrapes: Zippy!	Telepathic alien. Suzanne Vega; she's willowy, she's funny looking and she's got an alien haircut.	Ruthless villainess. That weird boy/girl bloke out of Monkey (Tripitaka wasn't it?) Cos we don't want it too scary, not for the kids.	Vengeful Space Commander. Yhea, Vic Reeves; with him chasing Blake everybody will believe it when he fails to capture him!

Scripts:
Thirteen 50 minute episodes per series.
No, too long and boring. Six 30 minute shows straight onto video, so we can add loads and loads and loads of computer effects, like virtual ships and fractals. No really, I can do them on my iMac - it's piss easy!

Production:
Block filming onto 35mm for OB, or Beta for studio. Two unit studio, one unit OB. Post-production and off-line at Elstree.
Sounds pricey. How about we do it at BBC Pebble Mill; I hear they've got one of those digital camcorders which is great because I've got video editing on my computer at work. Polish it up, dub a few 'Zaps' on it, and Bob's your uncle. We can do CSO for all the 'Outside' bits!

Sign Off:
Final agreement required by BBC Production Control.
Sign-off agreed based on my above comments. Oh, and budget doesn't exceed that allocated for The Sky At Night, because that's what we're replacing!

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