Hello my name is stan and i'm a miserable old cunt.I'm seventy four years old and I fucking hate everything and everyone!God my life is miserable where do I begin.Well that bitch at the corner shop where I buy my fags keeps looking at me funny I fucking hate that bitch but I'm telling you now I WILL buy those fags fuck what she thinks.

My wife fucked off in 1974 the bitch said I was a boring bastard.BITCH!What does she know!Many women find me attractive except that fucking witch at the corner shop although I could fuck her if I wanted.

I found a lump on my left testicle the other day.Fuck I hope it is n't cancer it probably is you know I'm going to die if I don't go the doctors but I fucking hate my doctor he's a wanker.He keeps trying to put me on happy pills but I keep telling him forget it you quack I'm laughing boy.Yes that's me laughing boy.I'm the life and soul of the party as long as they play the right music if they don't i'll fucking have them !

Did you see them terrorist attacks in america.It's the only thing that has put a smile on my face for ten years.I fucking hate americans they are all fat and they stink.I just wish that sammy bin laden would come over here and fucking kill my ex-wife.She left me in 1974 and took the budgie.Mind you I hated that fucking bird always shitting everywhere!

My incontinence is playing up again I shit myself in Tescos last week.I fucking hate Tescos and I hate that bitch at the corner shop aswell as my ex-wife and that fucking budgie.Anyway I've got to go I need some fags from the corner shop and if that bitch gives me any shit I'll kick the shit out of her!Anyway i'm going I've just shit myself again,God I wish I was dead!

 

(THIS DIARY EXTRACT WAS PRINTED BY THE KIND PERMISSION OF MR.MAUDSLEY'S FAMILY AS MR.MAUDSLEY WAS COMMITTED INTO A MENTAL HOSPITAL SHORTLY AFTER WRITING THIS PIECE)

 

 

Well I think we can all thank Mr.Maudsley for a truly inspirational tale.It's people like stan that give us a ray of hope in these troubled times.Good luck stan and I hope you get to kill your fucking wife.

P.S. In case you're wondering stan sent me a picture of that bitch at the corner shop.