The We Want Weed Consortium develops inoperable technologies (specifications, guidelines, software, and tools) to lead the web to an untimely demise. W3C is a forum for misinformation, confounding, inpaired communication, and collective whinging about how the browser manufacturers don't implement our dubious standards, of which we release a new one every week.
SVGWG (Scalable Vector Graphics Working Group) hits its second year
Our congratulations go out to the Scalable Vector Graphics Working Group, for their obvious long-term committment to the job.
They've been working for over a year now, which is a record. Most other working groups release a complete specification in approximately a week. I think the longest time we've ever had for a specification so far was 3 months for the Voice Browser Working Group; and that standard ended off being stored in the same place we keep our Beta videotapes and Virtual Boy goggles.
The SVGWG held a presentation night recently, and we are very impressed by their progress. In summary, they told us that last year, they wrote four quarterly reports, two half-yearly reports, and a yearly report! We were even more impressed by the fact that the group plans to write 26 fortnightly reports as well next year.
Maybe when we celebrate our 20th anniversary, the SVGWG will release a standard for vector graphics on the web?
Pronounciation Specification Working Group released
Yes, we've finally released the Pronounciation Specification Working Group (from their prison). And what have they given us? Nothing! No acronyms, no big incomprehensible reference guides, not even any numbers we can add to our counter.
But now they're all talking in exactly the same way, which is quite spooky. It's all "Al-oo-min-um" and "tom-ar-do" and "j-if" and "d-ay-tah". Maybe they didn't quite understand what we meant when we told them to come up with a pronounciation specification...
Choreography Services Markup Language released!
CSML is a completely new, XML-based standard for portraying dance movements through the Internet.
Just in case anyone finds any sort of use for this language, an example of the syntax can be found on the CSML page.
No, actually this news item is not about today's latest standard! (for information about that, see "CSML")
We would like for one of the Ws in our name to stand for "Webster". However, this cannot be. All the same, what's stopping us from attempting to influence the English language?
How many times have you gone to a search engine and in the search results gotten a NOFRAMES message instead of a page description? Those usually say "Sorry, your browser doesn't have frames so you can't view this page". My uncle's mother-in-law's dog's original owner's 8-year-old child gets confused by this, as she thinks that the message relates to HER browser. Or maybe it's because she doesn't know what frames are. I dunno.
So that everyone can understand these NOFRAMES messages, we have decreed that the word "browser" is not to be used; replace it instead with the phrase "user-agent". Henceforth, when little Caitlin surfs the web, she will now be told that her "user-agent doesn't support frames", which should be a hellova lot more simple for her to understand.
Clarification: How to insert an image
Last week when we pulled XXHTML out of our... I mean, created the standard, many people e-mailed us asking why we left the <img> tag out of the specification. After we wrote back to them and told them that their HTML 4-formatted e-mails crashed our whizz-bang XML-parsing e-mail client, we decided to clarify how to insert an image into an XXHTML document.
There is indeed no longer an image tag. You must use any other tag, with a src attribute, to insert an image. For example:
How to use XML Events (not that anyone has implemented them...)
So now, because we just LOVE XML, we've confused the whole process by using substandard syntax:
We will continue to complain next weekend if XML Events have not been
implemented in all browser releases.
Depriciated: The document.write() command
Instead, you should use the createElement() command, like thus:
Of course, this example should not be attempted, as the bold command has been depreciated in favour of stylesheets.
XXHTML 1.0 released!
The W3C is pleased to announce a new standard for the web. XXHTML offers the same features of XHTML but with more complicated syntax. It is designed to seamlessly integrate with half a dozen other completely different languages, including CSSSSS (Confusing SubStandard-Syntax Style Sheets). The FONT tag has been depreciated and we recommend you should use CSSSSS or the <big> and <small> tags, which are still supported.
Notification of alteration to SCRIPT tag
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