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(This
is my personal journal of quotes, writing, movie speeches, music clips, philosophy,
dreams and memories of things
past/present, that have influenced, & changed who I am. I have constructed
it because if you've ever
fallen from grace then you probably know
what it is to be one of the fallen, there is no order to my madness so don't try
to find one. )
The
clouded mind sees nothing (the shadow)
Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping....waiting...
And though unwanted......unbidden... it will stir.....open its jaws, and howl.
It speaks to us... guides us... Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other
choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of
love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief It hurts sometimes
more than we can bear.
Remember
tonight, for it is the beginning of always. A promise. Like a reward for
persisting through life so long alone. The belief in each other and the
possibility of love. A decision, to ignore or simply rise above the pain of the
past. The covenant, which at once binds two souls and yet severs prior ties. The
celebration, of the chance taken, and the challenge that lies ahead. For two
will always be stronger than one. And love...will always be the guiding force in
our lives. For tonight is mere formality...only an announcement to the world for
feelings long held. Promises made long ago - in the sacred spaces of our hearts.
(One Tree Hill)
It
only hurts when my eyes are open, I can only hold my breath in reality for so
long until it sinks in that my dreams are lost and my heart is broken and theirs
nowhere else to go. in the realm of make believe silent tires have no place,
there is no beginning and there is no end. there is only now. in this world I
have nothing to fear I am the master of my own illusion and desire, I am
everyone and no one, I am a shadow, the thoughts that cloud means minds, the
dark light that lies in all of us. the last line of defense hope. the only true
thing that dies last with us but cannot be broken in dream.
Yes,
losing your hearts desire is tragic. But gaining your hearts desire is all you
can hope for. This year I wished for love, to immerse myself into someone else
and to wake a heart afraid to heal. My wish was granted. If having that is
tragic, then give me tragedy. Cause I wouldn’t give it back for the world.
Time
takes it all. Whether you want it to or not, time takes it all away, time bares
it away. And in the end, there is only darkness. Sometimes we find others in
that darkness, and sometimes we lose them there again. (Stephen King)
Its
funny how my whole life has been like a dream, always the observer, the outsider
looking in. learning about life but never truly in the moment living it. I've
lived in the past memories off when id remembered what it was like to feel
alive. to kiss a girl, to clime the highest mountain, to watch a sunset, to live
in the here and now. to know that someone would care if I were gone from this
world. but
no one will know, no one will remember, ill just be a faded memory, a ghost, a
child who was not meant for this world. because in the end does any off it
really matter, in a blink of an eye it could all change...and nothing could be
like it was.
Memory is a past life. Don't
go there...It's the short road to hell.
In
this World There's Only Real and Make-believe.
It's
not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us. (Batman Begins)
Some days
are better then others, as I stair in the mirror, searching for the boy I once
was, and the looking for the man I know I could be, but can never attain. it
comes to my attention I am lost. I don't really know who I am. or what I am
searching for, all I know is that the man in the mirror isn't me. people always
see the shell, the surface, but never truly look past it to see what's really
there. when you look at my eyes that's all you see dark brown, but as my best
friend and love of my life once told me, the window to somebody's soul is in
there eyes. she once told me my eyes were like a clouded storm, raging in the
wind. always fighting the current, never able to be at peace. here's were the opposite
they were the light to my dark, the calm to my storm, the balance to my world. I
was the dreamer she was the realist. maybe that why whenever I looked into here
eyes, they would tell me everything I needed to know, they spoke volumes, for
those who could see, they spoke the truth and bared all, they told my soul that
this was home and everywhere I needed to be. but as I stair blank into my
reflection of the years past, the spark which was once there cannot be seen
anymore. my eyes darken over and give nothing away of my secret past life once
lost, and I suddenly remember why I am so lost, and all alone. because she's
gone...and that part of me that belonged to here, is still out there somewhere
with here, and I can get it back until I see here again...
Do
not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of
the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all. Do not let the hero in your soul
perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able
to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists. It is real. It is
possible. It is yours.
Nothing
in the world is the way it ought to be, it's harsh and cruel, but that's why
there's us champions.
Doesn't
matter where we come from...what we've done or suffered ..or even if we make a
difference. we live as though the world were as it should be to show it what it
can be..
When a hero falls a legend will rise
(casshern)
I
wish I could take a match and burn up the ashes of this dead life. the void that
hangs over me from the past, the memories that are forever burned into my mind.
the steps that make us who we are and set us apart in this journey. maybe if I
could strip these things away maybe I could be free from the thoughts that drown
me, like the Berlin wall that would not come down, I am trapped. each year the
wall grows stronger, taller and my heart colder, until it is impenetrable, unbreakable
and no hope for escape from this stronghold I have created for
myself.
"Life moves pretty fast. if you don't
stop & take a look around once in a while. You could miss it"
(Ferris Bueller's day off)
In the world of
tomorrow there are no certainties about the future, only that we must rely on
hope and blind faith to see us throw.
Every man
walks alone in the path to self-discovery, but can anybody really know anybody
in a world where everybody is a nobody.
Every one
fights to be what they were and cannot except who they are, for truth is knowing
who you really are, you cannot change a person without destroying who they were,
for to change one thing is to change everything.
It is said
that if you’ve never really lived then you can never truly die for to die
would mean, your life was but a fading star within a sea of existence, and you
were but a passing dream of something that might have been.
Silent heroes
are never heard, they are never seen, they are the unknown, the forgotten, the
shadows in the dark for they are the keepers of the world which is never seen by
those who never look, the world beneath the surface, the true world were the
week are taken and the strong survive, in a world which continues to turn
without the knowledge that such people exist, and that such truths are never realized.
Those of us
who have been broken hearted are merely shells of are former self’s, like frighten
children we are shattered within, broken like pieces of crushed
glass. We are but ghosts
of the men we believed we once were searching to make piece with a world, which
has turned its back on us. But maybe the blame lies within are own, hands maybe
we are only capable of destroying are self’s, and each other.
Was the game of
love created by the gods maybe just to play some big game, are we just pawns in
a bigger chest bored, or are we truly all alone in the universe moving on
impulse alone? I wish I truly new.. Always the questions never the answers,
always the dreams never the fulfillments, in a place were hope dies last; we
cling to the dream of what once was, and what might have been.
In the end we
all turn to dust-forgotten mortals to an uncaring world, ashes to ashes and
dust-to-dust we are but a passing breeze in the wind, Are only hopes that for an
instance we new what it meant to be truly loved.
For those who
have been lost and never found my soul cries for you, for I too know what it
means to have it all and watch it crumble beneath you. There are those who
so easily have it and so easily would choice to throw it away. But for those who
believe I simply say never give up hope, for without it we have nothing left,
sometimes memories can kill you but sometimes just sometimes the good one’s
can save your life. So smile because not all things have to be forgotten or lost
in the dark.
"All I wanna do is help. I wanna help because I don’t think people should
suffer, as they do. Because, if there is no bigger meaning, then the smallest
act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world." -(Angel)
"If there is no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters,
then all that matters is what we do" -(Angel)
"Why is it that every time I think I know the answers, someone goes and
changes the questions?" -(Fox Mulder -The X-Files)
"Life
is a bullet" (PapaRoach)
Who
knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? (The Shadow)
"We build too many walls and not enough bridges."
(Isaac Newton)
"The big moments are gonna come. You can’t help that. It’s what you do
afterwards that counts. That’s when you find out who you are." (Whistler -Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
I
need to know because something's wrong in the plan of my life, I don't believe
because heavens a lie & I want to be set free
from this destiny set for me. (Lacuna Coil)
I
am Xander, king of cretins , and all lesser cretins must bow before me..
(Xander)
"Born with nothing, die with everything"
(PapaRoach)
Love
is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty,
often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older,
our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep burning and unquenchable. (Bruce
Lee)
People
do it everyday, they talk to themselves... they see themselves as they'd like to
be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it. (Tyler Durden)
I
say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let
the chips fall where they may. (Tyler Durden)
George
Bernard Shaw once said there are two tragedies of life one is to lose your
hearts desire the other is to gain it...clearly Shaw had his heart broken once
or twice.
Tragedies
happen when your heart breaks you gotta fight like hell to stay alive the pain
you feel that’s life the confusion and fear that's there to remind you that
some where out there, there's something better something that's worth fighting
for.
As
we strain to grasp the things we desire, the things we think will make our lives
better. Money, popularity, we ignore what truly matters. The simple things like
friendship, family, love. The things we probably already had.
People
ask me if I believe in soul mates, to them I say yes because I believe everyone
has had one special person in their life time, that has some how forever changed
them, I know because I met here at two young an age, to have even known it at
the time, we shared something that was bigger then both of us & more
powerful than any one thing, a connection a bond which I thought could not be
broken, But like many things about life I would discover, things are never
simple.
the
next thing they ask is was I in love with here?, and anyone at the time looking
at us together could clearly see the answer to that question, and I smile fondly
as I think of her, even now she plagues my dreams, relieving happy memories of
the past, and heroic adventures we could of had, but sadly I wake and she is no longer
in my arms, and everything that seemed so real begins to fade, and I can hardly
remember the dream. I sit by the window watching the rain softly run down the
glass, trying to grasp that which is lost to me, but sadly my sheer force of
will is not enough to bring her back.
My
time with her was short lived and it seems life doesn't come with a sense of irony
regarding this, regrets and what if's plague my soul, wishing I could travel
back in time and change things for the better but I can't, there's no point in
looking at roads not travels, so the only thing we have is to look forward, but
as the years roll by it appears not much has changed and I wonder if it ever
will.
At
this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running
scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others
are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are
good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls.
And sometimes...all you need is one. (One Tree Hill)
If
you wake up at a different time in a different place, could you wake up as a
different person?
You're
not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car
you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking
khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. (Tyler Durden)
Man,
I see the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this
potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas,
waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and
clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle
children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great
Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our
lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be
millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly
learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off. (Tyler Durden)
I
don't handle rejection well. funny, considering how much practice I've had. (Xander)
In
losing your way on a journey is unfortunate but losing your reason for the
journey is a fate more cruel.
real
love isn't brains children, it's blood; it's blood screaming inside you to work
it's will. I may be loves bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it.
(Spike)
EE
Cummings once wrote, to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it's
best, night and day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest
battle, which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting
They
say that evil prevails when good men fail to act what they alter say is... evil prevails
(Lord Of War)
Without
pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing. (Tyler Durden)
“Man
is a feeling creature, and because of it the greatest in the universe. He
learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way, to make their
own mistakes. There can't be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. When
men seek such perfection they find only death, fire, loss, disillusionment and
the end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought an end to our
misery but it can't be given, it has to be achieved. There is hope, but it has
to come from inside, from Man himself.”
We're
consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty,
these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines,
television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra,
Olestra. (Tyler Durden)
Once
you lose yourself, you have two choices. Find the person you used to be or lose
that person completely. Because sometimes you have to step outside of the person
you’ve been and remember the person you were meant to be. The person you
wanted to be. The person you are.
The
only way to get smarter is by playing a smarter opponent. (Revolver)
"The
path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish
and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who, in the name of charity and good
will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his
brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon
thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison
and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my
vengeance upon thee."
Only
after disaster can we be resurrected. (Tyler Durden)
Live Fast Die Never...
