Wandering Hands 1998-1999 Season Report:

This season The "Mighty" Wandering Hands achieved so much cohesion both on and off the field of play that it would be a shame not to put all of what has happened onto paper, and hopefully into a little more perspective.

The Hands’ Captain, Simon "Ted" Tedridge, seemed to be facing an uphill struggle at the start of the season when faced with the challenge of bringing together a squad of players who would be capable not only of emulating previous Hands’ on pitch heroics, but also following in their raucous footsteps off the pitch. However, as he will readily admit, he was not alone in this quest. Pete Wilder had also already had one full playing season for the Hands and he was assigned the role of vice-captain, sharing the administrative rigours with Ted. Other core players such as Joe Appleby and John Howells, the team’s awesome prop pairing, and Tim Ramsdale , the flair man in the back-line remained from the previous season; admittedly, there were strong foundations to build on.

Players such as Bill Oddie and Lawrence Brown, the tearaway flank pairing, had been capped the season before, as had Matt Morgan, the powerful no.10, but they all had a much more important role to play in this campaign. In turn, two enormous new locks, "Big" Rob Webber and Kirk Hullis, were recruited, with Kirk occasionally relinquishing his Bristol Rugby Club commitments. Both were to ensure a steady stream of possession from the line out. "Wide" Rob was also brought in to give the already powerful front row a bit more bite, playing at both hooker and loose head prop, and three abrasive back-row players: Tim Thorn, Hugo Parkinson and Phil Caseter were also important additions to the squad.

In the slightly less settled back line, Ted made the switch to inside centre to make way for the more explosive talents of Oli Pool and Steve Clark in the wide areas, enabling them to form the fastest wing combination on the circuit; they too were both new signings. Rick Maynard also arrived on the scene, bringing straight and fearless running to any of the back three positions or the back row. Hugo Smith and Drew Chapman made an important contribution to Hands’ centre play in the games which they played. Talika Bull was another talented runner whose deceptive pace was deployed in a number of positions.

Early season form gave away little of what was to come. The Hands lacked cohesion when faced with the Engineers in their first game, and with centres playing in the back row and vice versa, early tries were conceded. Within half an hour we had rallied, and scored several tries, but we could not quite get the final score to which we came close so many times. It was worrying to note that at this point Cunt Tim was top-scorer, which could only be a bad thing.

Next came the geologists, for whom Ben Backhouse, Steve and Big Rob made guest appearances. The Hands’ dominance up front led to a large amount of tries, but it was not a day for the backs. It was also disappointing to have had our line crossed - at this stage we were still yet to achieve our defensive grit.

The Hands then entered a lean period, and losses to Badock and the Medics followed. Key players were missing in both, to the extent that we were unable to field fifteen men against Badock. Many felt that we ought to have won both fixtures, especially against what was essentially a Medics’ Wednesday XV.

This disappointing phase was ended by an imperious performance against the Vets, the first of a still-unbroken run of victories. The pack was dominant, and a ruthless kicking display from the fly half demoralised the Vets, who were unable to score a point. After a long rest period, the Hands next victims were Manor Hall, who went down by ninety points. It was a feast of tries, and once again a clean sheet was kept.

The next match, against the Bristol Bandits was approached with a certain amount of trepidation by some, perhaps because of the Bandits’ rumbustuous self-promotion in the Epigram. On the day many recognised university players were drafted into their ranks, but this did not stop the Hands coming back from a try down to put five tries on the board, running out 40-14 winners. The Hands were unused to being pushed back in the set scrums, but their team play was too much for the Bandits, who naturally played more as individuals. Drew Chapman played the last fifteen minutes with a sprained ankle, emulating Kyran Bracken. Perhaps he did not notice because his head was in more pain, having sustained ten pints the night before! (although this was probably not an unparalleled feat in Hands history!)

The Hands were by now on a roll, and got their own back on the Engineers by taking them apart 23-0, their third clean sheet in four games. Then, during the long wait for the final, they claimed their first university-side scalp, taking apart Bath Spa university during the short period that Spa had enough players on the pitch! Perhaps the muddiest match many of us have ever played in, and also the one that produced the most memorable post-match photo.

The Hands had been seeded first for the finals, but were nervous against Badock in the semis, and turned around three points down at half time. The blazing sun led to too many handling errors, which unnerved many of us and led to some panicky play. But as the match progressed the Hands found their feet, and put down three tries to win 15-3. The Medics had also won their game against the Engineers 15-3, and they had had an impressive season, having won some national tournament the week before. The Hands were over-awed by the large pitch, and despite taking an early 3 point lead, soon found themselves two tries down, and missing their influential vice-captain. Things looked bleak, but Pete’s neck saved us - to accommodate the ambulance the match was moved to the Hands’ lucky pitch, where the Medics had to play with the sun in their eyes, and found it hard to use their impressive backs to best effect on the narrow pitch. The Hands’ heads went up, and in the second half the two tries were inevitable in the light of our dominance and determination. In true comic book style, the Medics had a last-minute try disallowed for a forward pass, and the Hands sat out the late storm to emerge as the champions of 1998/9.

Needless to say, the team could not have been so successful without its strong squad of players, starting from the very front of the team. The "Front row union" was made up of three very important players for the Hands. At no. 1 was John "head-down" Howells, who earned his name as a result of his somewhat blinkered, but no less effective play with the ball in hand. A fearsome prospect for any opponent in the tight, John was no less important with his bullocking runs in the loose, or indeed his "assisting" at the line out.

"Wide" Rob Jacobs played most of the season at hooker, and apart from the dart-like accuracy of his line out throwing, he also often played the important battering-ram role in the loose, scoring numerous tries in the process. An excellent scrummager, Rob also played loose head when John got injured, with Loz coming into the hooker berth. His powerful style on the pitch was mirrored by his choice of car; the Land Rover, his pride and joy, and an important people carrier for the side on away-days.

Joe "Ice man" Appleby at tight head has to be one of the nominations for player of the season. By no means any less powerful than either of his front row companions, Joe was also remarkable for his fitness, and could often be seen running "pyramids" after the end of Hands practices on the downs. This fitness was also in evidence on the pitch where he would demand the ball from the half-backs to carry it up to the opposition, always arrive quickly to the breakdown, and often even confound opponents with a side-step or an intelligent line of running. He too was never outdone in the tight and proved a great auxiliary for the target men at the line out. Off the pitch, Joe was always an important man on a good night out; always thirsty, and always ready to take his flamboyant moves onto the dance floor. He was one of only four ever-presents (the other three being Ted, Oli and Loz).

And what target men they were. "Big" Rob Webber at two would frequently mop up possession, causing opposing jumpers and throwers alike to tear their hair out. Although line out jumping is essentially an explosive skill, Rob’s static strength was also an important factor in setting up a number of important rolling mauls throughout the season. He too loved having the ball in his hands, swatting off would-be tacklers with his far-reaching hand-off. Rob was also always ready with a new and innovative drinking game after every match, in which he would lead by example. This led to him being designated "Social Secretary".

With quick ball coming from the jumper at four becoming a more and more potent attacking weapon, it was a shame that Kirk Hullis’ abilities there were not put to use more often, due to the stranglehold which Rob would often develop at two, but he was certainly no less able a jumper (and he doesn’t weigh as much-I know!). However, his technical capabilities in the loose were never underused; Kirk was always asking for the ball, finding gaps and presenting the ball with clinical precision - a dream come true for support players. He was also a prolific try scorer, and seems to think that it is something special to score three against Manor! It was a real coup for the Hands to have Kirk on the side.

In the back-row, Bill Oddie did a fantastic job in the open side berth, and was often the key to the Hands’ success in the loose. An unflinching and aggressive runner with the ball in hand, Bill was always strong in the tackle, but his quick hands were always ready to ship the ball on. His tackling and breakdown play were also impressive, and his uncompromising nature often made the difference at close quarters. A little older and wiser than some of the other Hands, Bill always had a tale to tell in the bar afterwards.

On the other flank, the old-style ball winning open-side Lawrence Brown was never going to be the biggest no.6 in the world, but he certainly punched above his weight! However, his enthusiasm for the game and his crucial skills at the breakdown made him another key player. Never one to take a step back in the tackle, this was the area of the game he relished most, making his transition to the blind side a relatively seamless process. He too covered plenty of ground in the loose, realising the importance of speed and aggression in breakdown play. Loz also played several games at hooker, where his all-round contribution remained impressive, but where his line out throwing will need some work if he is to succeed in the future!

Tim Thorne at no.8 was frequently a revelation with the ball in hand, and his flamboyant body movement and passing were always an impressive part of the Hands’ armoury. Tim also showed his great positional sense, with the ball often seeming to find him on the pitch, whether he was defending in deep positions or taking the ball forward in the centre. He is one of the select band of loose forwards who can number kicking among his talents. Equally importantly, Tim’s height gave us an extra option at 6 in the line out. Tim was also responsible for getting all of the opposition’s girlfriends to pose with the Hands after the Bath Spa game (And I foolishly bet him a pint that he wouldn’t do it!).

Phil Caseter made an important contribution to the Hands back five play. Playing in every back row position and occasionally at lock, and giving an equally good account of himself in all of them, Phil’s all round contribution and athleticism were impressive. He was also a useful exponent at the line out, whether jumping at four or six, and his size and strength frequently helped to give good balance to the Hands’ mobile back row. A former rower and a keen canoeist, Phil is a formidable athlete with excellent stamina, which contributed to the fact that the Hands never lost when he was present.

Hugo Parkinson got involved with the Hands after Christmas, and it was a shame that, due to an injury sustained during the Bandits game, he was not able to play more than the two games he did. A big man, Hugo can also play in any one of the back five positions, although he prefers the blind side flank. Hugo is a strong and agile runner who contributed well in the loose, and I am sure he will also prove to be an important line out player next season with his size an enormous asset in this area.

Dom Turner is an extremely talented player who had a couple of games for us, one at no. 8, and the other at centre, in which he showed us glimpses of what he is capable of. A big, strong player with an excellent pair of hands and good pace, Dom has cut his teeth with the best in the Southern hemisphere, in South Africa, where he played some club rugby, and it would appear that he has all the attributes to be an outstanding flanker if he works on his fitness. He could be one of the best players on the circuit for the Hands next year.

Pete Wilder’s play at the back of the scrum, whether at no. 8 or at scrum half was always enormously impressive. Pete is a big guy with good pace and great ability with the ball in his hands, and he is able to either barge, or indeed think his way through the opposition’s defence. The back row aficionados always mourned the fact that Pete did not play there more often and there was often the feeling that Pete has the potential to go far in any of the loose forward positions. However, he was also a live-wire at scrum half, giving us an extra dimension at the back of the scrum, much like Joost van der Westhuizen does for the Springboks. There were certainly tense moments when Pete left the field halfway through the inter-mural final on a stretcher.

After early selectional vagaries, when Tim Ramsdale was used at fly half, Matt Morgan made the position his own over the course of a number of impressive and controlled displays. Possibly less flamboyant than Tim, he often proved to be the much needed steadying influence behind the pack; Matt is a great kicker from the hand but his game is by no means one-dimensional; he is happy to play the pivotal role in any strike move or indeed to take the ball on himself, always beating the first of a stream of would-be tacklers with his pace and strength. Matt’s defence is also an important part of his game, with his dump-tackle style making him one of the Hands most prolific defenders, causing further comparisons between the Hands’ and the Springboks’ half-back pairings. He is also an accurate goal kicker.

Outside him, Simon "Ted" Tedridge came on in leaps and bounds as a centre over the course of the year, and, as his drinking will surely dictate, he will probably not find himself reverting to either of the wing positions. Ted was always a viable option in the early phases of play-strong on his feet, he was capable of holding the ball up for the vital second before the back-row support arrived. Equally, he is very good at off-loading the ball in the tackle to support runners. Ted also has an eye for the break, and an annoying habit of scoring interception tries, often inciting the opposition to perform press-ups. Another strong defender, Ted would frequently put opponents on their backs. It would thus be entirely inaccurate to claim, as many have done, that he is in fact "awful at life".

The selection at outside centre was rarely the same from one week to the next. All the same, the position was rarely filled by a bad player; in the first half of the season Hugo Smith proved a key player with his aggressive running and tackling, which were also put to good use in the back row later on in the season. Later on Drew Chapman came in and did a great job, showing himself to be comfortable with every aspect of centre play, however, just as he was becoming a regular partner for Ted, he was sidelined by injury. He will be very important in next year’s set-up. Ben Backhouse is a tremendously quick and talented outside back, and although he only played a few games, he was able to treat himself to a fair number of tries.

On the left, Steve Clark found no opponent to match him on the circuit. Always fast enough to "roast" his opposite number (Steve runs 10.8 over 100 metres), and always strong enough to break a tackle, Steve gave opposing no. 14’s a torrid time all season, and showed why he has played for the Bristol University First XV. He is also an able defender, but it is his electric attacking skills which will live long in the memory; as soon as he got the ball with space in front of him, all of his potential support players would simply stop and cheer him on as he raced over the try line once again. It is a testament to his ability that he was able to score a number of tries on an otherwise poor day for the Hands at the sevens, and that he is equal top-try-scorer, despite having played in less games than his challenger for the top-spot.

On the opposite wing, Oli Pool was no less deadly at no. 14, clocking in at 11.0 over 100m, and it was certainly an interesting contest when he and Steve came up against each other for one game only when the Hands beat the geologists, who Steve was playing for at the time. There can be no quicker player from a standing start in the league, and his early season form made him an essential part of the team’s game plan. Oli delights in testing his opposite number’s mettle, taking him on the outside, and only seldom was he prevented from doing this when he was presented with the ball early and in space. On the narrower pitches he also added another dimension to the team’s attacks when he came inside and looked for support. He also did well in defence, particularly in deep positions and he relishes turning defence into attack. Oli has the task of captaining the side next season. Like Ted, he will be taking a nucleus of players with him, and he has plenty of potential to work with.

‘Cunt’ Tim Ramsdale, after a few early sojourns at fly half which he greatly enjoyed, eventually came to bed down as the team’s regular fullback, the position he had played the season before, but his place-kicking remained crucial to the team’s success. Tim’s attacking flair has become part of Hands’ folklore (as has his self-proclaimed social ineptitude!), and his outrageous dummies, which rarely worked on his wary team-mates during practices, would often come to fruition during matches, most notably when he was playing fly half against Bath Spa University, when a sweet feint and then a change of pace took him past a sprawling defender. Realising himself to be clean through, Tim let out a loud roar. Later, when asked why he had done so, Tim replied he had roared at the moment when he realised the fact of "his own genius". Rarely known to come out on the beers (perhaps for fear of getting a knee in the bollocks from Joe again), Tim was sometimes dubbed the "Anti-social secretary"- a world apart from Big Rob.

Rick Maynard also played several games at fullback and a couple at wing, his direct running style always a threat from deep positions. Rick is an extremely strong and fit player with the ability to make the overlapping run to open up the opposition. He also relishes contact situations, and enjoys carrying the ball up to the opposition through the middle. Rick also showed his versatility, playing a few games in the back-row, from where he made an enthusiastic contribution in the loose. Another player with great pace, he is a great finisher when put through. An important figure, Rick will probably choose to play fullback on his return to the Hands after a year abroad (half of which he will be spending in Aix-en-Provence with Lawrence Brown-all visitors welcome for "Rugby sur la plage").

Talika Bull was also a useful player in any of the outside positions for us. Playing on the wing, at fullback and in the centre, Tal had an eye for the break, and was always sound under the high ball. He is a player who can cruise up to full speed without the opposition realising it and he always showed great awareness of the players outside him. Tal also put in some great work in defence and never missed his man, also doing a great covering job, particularly when deployed at fullback in the second half of the season.

Thanks to all those involved, I’ll never forget the season we all spent together.

Lawrence Brown, with a helping Hand from Oliver Pool