The Foresters Plough Play

Our play started many years ago as an amalgam of local plough plays from Long Bennington and Staunton (Lincolnshire); over the years of performance it has become well and truly our own.

Plough Plays are the type of Mummers' play found in the East Midlands region of the UK. They are distinguished from Mummers' plays both by the fact that they are performed on Plough Monday (the first Monday after Twelfth Night), and by the names of the characters in them. For more details and discussion, see the article by Maurice Barley in the Journal of the English Folk Dance & Song Society, Vol. VII No 2, December 1953, p 68, with addenda in Vol. VII No 3, p 184 and Vol. VII No 4, p249.

The characters in the Foresters play.
Tom Fool
Recruiting Sergeant
Farmer's Man
Lady Bright and Gay
Dame Jane
Beelzebub
Doctor

Tom Fool.
In comes I, who's never been here before,
There's six more like me at the door,
Some can dance and some can sing,
By your consent they'll all come in.
My head is big, my wit is small
But I plays Tom Fool the best of all.
Hokum, Pokum, France and Spain,
In comes the recruiting sergeant, at his name.

Recruiting Sgt.
In comes I the Recruiting Sergeant
I've arrived here just now with orders from the King
To enlist all young men that follow horses,
cart, wagon or plough,
Tinkers, tailors, peddlers, nailers
All the more to my advance,
The more I hear the music play
The better I can dance.

Tom Fool.
What you dance?

Recruiting Sgt.
I can dance sing or say

Tom Fool.
If you shall dance sing or say,
I will quickly walk away.

Farmer's Man.
In comes I the Farmer's man
Don't you see the whip in my hand
As I go forth to plough the land
And turn it upside-down
Straight I goes from end to end
'Till I go gently round the bend
And to my horses I attend
Woe there!

Lady.
Behold a lady bright and gay,
Good fortune and sweet charms.
How carelessly I've been thrown away
Out of my true love's arms.
He says that he won't wed with me
And I must understand,
He'll list all for a soldier
And go to some foreign land.

Recruiting Sgt.[sings]
Come all young men with a mind for enlisting,
List and do not be afraid,
You shall have all kinds of liquor,
Likewise kiss this pretty fair maid.
(says) Are you free willing and able young man?

Farmer's Man.
I'm free and I'm willing.

Recruiting Sgt.
Then on your hat I tie this ribbon
And in your hand I place this shilling.
You are now a King's man.
Stand to attention, left right, left right!

Lady.
And now my love's enlisted
and joined the volunteers.
I mean no more to cry for him
Nor even shed a tear,
I mean no more to cry for him
But just to let him know,
I'll meet another sweetheart
And along with him I'll go.

Tom Fool.
Do you have any love for me my pretty fair maid?

Lady.
Yes Tommy to my sorrow.

Tom Fool.
Then when shall be our wedding day?

Lady.
Why Tommy dear tomorrow.

Dame Jane.
In comes I, Old Dame Jane,
With a neck as long as any crane.
Dib dab, over the meadows
Long I've sought thee,
Now I've caught thee,
Tommy, take the child!

Tom Fool.
The child Jenny, its none of mine

Dame Jane.
Look at its eyes, its nose, its chin,
It must be yours, just look at its grin.

Tom Fool.
What is it, a lad or a boy?

Dame Jane.
A boy.

Tom Fool.
Well, mine's all lads,
Take it and swear it to the village pump
You old ratbag.

Beelzebub.
In comes I Beelzebub,
On my shoulder I carries me club,
In my hand a dripping pan.
Don't you think I'm a jolly old man!
Is there any an old woman that can stand before me?

Dame Jane.
I can, my head is made of iron,
My body lined with steel,
My hands and feet of knuckle bone.
No man can make me feel.

Beelzebub.
If your head is made of iron,
Your body lined with steel,
And your hands and feet of knuckle bone,
I think I can make you feel. (Hits Dame Jane with club)

Lady.
Oh Beelzy, Beelzy, what have you done?
You've killed the old lady and lamed her son.

Tom Fool.
Five Pounds for a doctor.

Beelzebub.
Ten to stay away.

Doctor.
Fifteen pounds and a BUPA card and I'll come in.

Tom Fool.
All right but hurry up

Doctor.
In comes I, the doctor.

Tom Fool.
And how comes you to be a doctor?

Doctor.
By my travels.

Tom Fool.
And what, pray are your travels?

Doctor.
Italy, Whitely, France & Spain,
Twice round Ruddington and back again.

Tom Fool.
And what can you cure, noble-handed doctor?

Doctor.
Ipsy, Pipsy, Palsy, Gout,
Pains within and pains without,
Heal the sick and cure the lame,
Raise dead men back to life again.

Tom Fool.
You'd best try your skills on this recumbent hag
Lays bleeding on the ground.

Doctor.
In my bag I have a bottle,
I'll pour it down the old girl's throttle.
She, she isn't dead, just in a trance.
Rise up Dame Jane and join the dance.

All Sing
Good Masters and Good Mistresses,
As you sit by your fire.
Remember us poor plough boys
Who plough through mud and mire.
The mire it is so very thick,
Our boots are very thin,
We have a little pocket here,
Won't you put a penny in?

And now our play is ended,
You see our Fool has gone,
We make it our business
To follow him along.
We thank you for civility
And what you gave us here.
We wish you all goodnight
And another happy year.


Developed and performed in the tradition by The Foresters Morris Men

Found in:
Foresters Morris Men Site