Collected in 1913 from Charles Cooper, of Bridge St., Overton.
{note1}?
Walk in Rumour.
Rumour.
In comes I in comes yet with my great head and little wit. I'm just come in to please you all.
Father Christmas.
Well, young man you've said that well; I should like to hear you say something else. Walk-in as Rumour
Rumour.
In comes I as Rumour, Rumour is my name. I have come to show you many sports to pass away the winter time. There's old activity and new activity that you have never seen before and never will no more. Old Father Christmas fall{note2} from the door.
Father Christmas.
In comes I old Father Christmas.
Am I welcome or am I not?
I hope old Father Christmas will never be forgot
As Christmas comes but once a year
And when it comes it brings good cheer,
A pocketful of money and a cellar full of beer,
Roast beef, plum pudding and mince pies:
Who likes that any better than I?
Twing Twang.
I do.
Father Christmas.
I don't know so much as thee doest, little fellow.
There is room and room and gallons{note3} of room.
Send it along to rain,
After me in comes King George
And all his noble train.
Song by all the performers.
He comes, he comes, the hero comes:
Sound, sound the trumpet a piece a piece a drum
Along the cannon roar
Walk in King George along the British shore.
King George.
In comes I King George so bold so grand, I does appear with my whole tribes and Britons by my sides,
I'm come to close the year.
Here's England's right, here's England's wrong.
When I pull out my old rusty rapier.
Oh is there a man before me can stand
That I shall not cut down with my created hand?
{note5}?
Oh yes, oh yes, there is a man before thee can stand
Thou shalt not cut him down with thy created hand.
I'll fight thee, King George like a man of courage bold.
Let thy blood be ever so hot, I'll quickly fetch it cold.
King George.
Ah, ah, my little fellow, thee talks very bold
Like a good many more as I've been told.
Pull out thy rusty rapier, pull out thy sword and fight,
Pull out thy purse and pay
By satisfaction I'll have thy life before thee goest away
{note6}?
No satisfaction at all King George, for less than two
minutes I'll take thy life away.
Battle to Battle thee and I'll call
To see which on the ground shall fall,
Battle to Battle thee and I'll play
To see which on the ground shall lay.
One shall die and the other shall live:
That's the challenge that I shall give
Room my play.
Father Christmas.
Oh dear, oh dear, out of eleven sons I've only got one left.
Walk in Bold Slasher and see what thou canst do with the villain.
Bold Slasher.
In comes I Bold Slasher, Bold Slasher is my name,
With my sword and buckle by my side I hope to win the game.
My head is made of iron,
My body's lined with steel:
I'm come to fight thee, King George,
All in this open field.
Father Christmas.
I hope thee woot, my little feller.
Bold Slasher.
I'll fight thee King George like a man of courage bold...
Here follows an exact. repetition of the dialogue between King George and his previous antagonist.
Father Christmas.
Oh dear, oh dear, out of eleven sons I haven't got one left. Oh, is there a doctor to be found which can cure my two sons that lay bleeding on the ground?
Doctor.
Oh yes, oh yes, there is a doctor to be found as can cure thy two sons that lay bleeding on the ground.
Father Christmas.
What is thy skill, Doctor?
Doctor.
Itch, the stitch, the palsy and the gout, the ridge and pain goes through and out. I got a little bottle by my side that you commonly call Elegant Paint. Two drops of that will fetch thy two sons alive again.
Father Christmas.
Pray, what is thy fee?
Doctor.
Ten guineas is my fee, but ten pound I take of thee.
Father Christmas.
Try thy skill, Doctor.
Doctor.
One drop on the titch bone of his heart and one drop on the small of his arm.
Arise you two men, and likewise serve the King.
Father Christmas.
Well done, my little fellow, thee bis n't like these quack doctors that goes about half doing their work; thee doest it. Have your money now, or wait till you gets it?
Turkish Knight.
Here comes I the Turkish Knight,
Just come from the Turkish Land to fight.
Only me and seven more
Fought and killed eleven score.
Many a hard battle have I been in
For the sake of George our King.
I'll fight thee, King George, like a man of courage bold.......
Here follows another repetition of the dialogue between King George and his first antagonist to the words 'Challenge that I shall give'.
(?)King George.
Go home, go home, you cowardly snipe, and tell what champions there is in England dwell.
I suppose I got another rare great feller to face now then,
Walk in, Little Twing Twang.
Twing Twang.
In comes I little Twing Twang
Headman in this press-gang,
Spaniards also.
Now I'm little Johnny Jack
With my wife and family on my back
Although I am so short and small
I think myself the best man of you all.
(?)King George.
Stop, stop, my little feller: I knowed thy father years and years before: bought pigs off him, fatted them up with turnip pecker handles, and then they all died eating peasean for want of litter. Who doest think thee bist going to kill? Dead mouse?
Twing Twang.
No, thee. Thee and I had better have a rap or two.
King George.
Oh dear, oh dear see what I've been and done
Killed my poor old Father, Abraham Brown
All hear I sits on that is his
Ladies and gentlemen give me what you please,
Money in the box and God save the King.
Carols.
God bless the mistress of this house with a gold chain I round her neck
And when her body sleeps at rest Lord Jesus be her guide.
. . . . . . master . . . and merry gentlemen
Our carols is done: we must be going, we stay no longer here, sir.
We wish you all, both great and small, we wish you a happy New Year, sir.
Notes.
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