The First Burghclere Mummer.
BURGHCLERE, HAMPSHIRE
Nine miles from Newbury.
Introduction.
This version was introduced from Dorsetshire and was first acted at Burghclere in 1908. It was communicated in April 1914 by F. C. Hutchins, who took the part of King George and showed me his red tunic with a sash across it like those worn by Foresters.
King George, Grenadier, and Cutting Star were all dressed as soldiers, wore medals and carried wooden swords. Only the Turkish Knight blacked his face: he wore a black tunic and a turban. The Doctor wore top hat, breeches and stockings, and a white waistcoat. The policeman was dressed as a policeman. Little Johnny Jack wore ribbons and also five small dolls to represent his children and one large one for his wife.
They apparently danced around to the Greensleeves tune, for my informant seemed to recognise this when I whistled it, without doing a hey or reel.
The Play.
Father Christmas.
In comes I old Father Christmas welcome in or welcome not I hope poor old Father Christmas will never be forgot Christmas comes but once a year and when it comes it brings good cheer Roast beef, plum pudding, strong ale, and mince pies, who likes that better than I. Now in this room there shall be shown the most dreadfullest battle that ever was known between King George and the Turkish Knight for I took my troubles abroad all nations for to fight only to bring to fine acts not far from victory the first man that comes this way he is a noble man glad tidings he will bring. Room, gentlemen, room, I pray and we'll quickly have the fighting men this way. Walk in King George.
King George.
In comes I King George that man of courage bold with my broad sword in my hand I won I £10000 in gold it was I that fought that fiery dragon and brought him to a slaughter and by those noble deeds I won the King of Egypt's daughter Manhood so free and valiant of old I conquered nations and in the army whilst I remain I still remain the champion how bold it is to say I can still fight any fighting man that comes this way.
Turkish Knight.
In comes I the bold Turkish Knight just come from that foreign land to fight King George that man of courage bold and if his blood runs hot I'll quickly make it cold.
King George.
Hold on Turkish Knight tho'st talks very bold like some other little man I've been told draw thy sword and fight or draw thy purse and pay for satisfaction I'll have of thee before thou goes away.
Turkish Knight.
Al. Satisfaction, no satisfaction at all I'll battle thee to see who on this ground shall fall
King George.
Battle, to battle with thee I call to see who on this ground shall fall.
Turkish Knight.
Battle, to battle with thee I pray to see who on this ground shall lay.
King George and the Turkish Knight fight and Turkish Knight goes down on one knee and begs pardon.
Turkish Knight.
Pardon O Pardon me I crave an I will be thy Turkish slave.
King George.
I neve did n't pardon a Turkish Knight there- fore rise and fight thy might.
Turkish Knight.
Battle to battle ~c.
King George.
Battle to battle &c.
Turkish Knight is wounded and falls.
Father Christmas.
King George what hast thou done thou'st killed and wounded my only son.
King George.
He gave me first challenge and how could I deny.
Father Christmas.
Is there a Dr that can be found that can cure my son that lies wounded and bleeding on the ground.
King George.
Yes Father there is a Dr to be found who can cure your son that lies wounded and bleeding on the ground.
Father Christmas.
What his name.
King George.
Peter Lamb.
Father Christmas.
Walk in Peter Lamb as quick as thou can or we shall have a dead man.
Dr Lamb walks in.
Dr. Lamb.
Let you know my name is Mr Lamb not Peter Lamb.
Father Christmas.
Can'st thou cure this man.
Dr Lamb.
Yes Father I'm not like those Roaming Drs goes about saying those things and that and tells as many lies in one day as I tell in ten year what I'll do. I do straight before thy face and if thou can't believe thy own eyes tis a hard case.
Father Christmas.
Try thy skill O Dr.
Dr Lamb.
By my side I carry a little bottle which is called ithe golden foster drop' one drop of this to this man's tongue and another to the crown of his head will strike the heat to the whole of his body and rise him from the ground.
Father Christmas.
Thou be a noble Dr.
Ring George lakes Turkish Knight's hand.
King George.
Arise arise thou cowardly dog and go back to thy own country and tell what old England's done to thee and tell them that old England will fight ten thousand better men than thee.
Cutting Star.
In comes I both tall and smart likewise I'll tell my mind with all my heart for I am that cutting star just come from that most dreadful war me myself and seven more fought and killed eleven score of ablebodied men will never rise to fight again my head is made of iron my body's lined w ith steel my garter fits my leg so tight my trousers drags my heels First comes Christmas then comes spring we are the jolly little lads that can either dance or sing.
Grenadier.
In comes I the bold grenadier for tall and smart ~ do not fear if his head is made of iron and his body lined with steel from his head to his heels I'll quickly make him feel.
Cutting Star.
Hold on Grenadier don't talk too hot for in this room you don't know who you've got I cut thee and hew thee as small as flies and send thee to the cook shop to be made into mince pies.
Grenadier.
Battle to battle with thee I call to see who on this ground shall fall.
Cutting Star.
Battle to battle with thee I play to see who on this ground shall lay. ~
They both have a good fight but niether is wounded and at last they shake hands and are friends again.
Johnnie Jack.
In comes 1 little Johnnie Jack with my wife and family up my back my family is large and I am small a little if you please will help us all for out of I~ I've got but five and all the rest were starved alive. Roast beef, Plum Pudding, Strong ale, and mince pies, who likes that better than Old Father Christmas and I.
Father Christmas.
Nobody.
Johnnie Jack.
A jug of your Christmas ale Sir will make us merry and sing but money in our pockets is a much finer thing now ladies and gentlemen at your ease give the merry Christmas boys just what you please.
The Old Woman.
Ha' ha' ha' in comes I as ain't been it with my big head and little wit my head so big and my wit so small I've brought my fiddle to please you all all blue sleeves and yellow laces now old boys we'll dance apace.
Enter Policeman singing.
Policeman.
I am a noble boby, my number 63, and if I don't love my sarah, then you shall plainly see, I met her down the ally one night at half past nine, and I told her that I loved her, and she said she would be mine and I don't love my sarah she only got one eye, and if I don't have my sally Ill have the rabbit pie.
Father Christmas, Dr Lamb, Policeman and Old Woman plays the music and the other four begin dancing.
Found in:
Tiddy R. J. E. (1923) The Mummers' Play. Oxford University press.