Belfast Mummer
Belfast Mummer.
The communicator of this text wrote that it was copied from a small leaflet called 'The Christmas Rime', printed in Belfast. This seems to be inaccurate, an almost identical version being given in The New Christmas Rhyme Book: Belfast, printed for the Booksellers by J. Nicholson, Cheapside, Church Lane, Belfast.
A kind of Jester.
Room room brave gallant boys, Come give us room to Rhyme. We are come to show our activity in Christmas time. Active youth and active age the like was never acted on a stage, and if you don't believe what I say enter in Prince George and clear the way.
Prince George.
In come I Knight George from England have I sprung one of those noble deeds of valour to begin. 7 long years in a close cave have I been kept and out of that into a prison leapt, and out of that unto a rock of stone where there I made my grievous moan. Many a gallant I did subdue: I run the fiery dragon through and through. I freed fair Sabra from the stake, what more could mortal man then undertake ? I fought them all courageously and still have gained the victory and will always fight for Liberty; here I draw my bloody weapon; shew me the man that dare me stand, I'll cut him down with my courageous hand.
Turkish Champion.
I am the man that dare you challenge whose courage is great and with my sword I made dukes and earls to quake.
Prince George.
Who are you but a silly lad ?
Turkish Champion.
I am Turkey Champion, from Turkey Land I come to fight you the great George by name. I'll cut you and slash you and send you to Turkey to make mince pies baked in an oven, and after I've done I'll fight ever a champion in all Christendom.
They fight.
Prince George.
A doctor, a doctor £10 for a doctor: is there never a doctor to be found can cure this man of his deep and mortal wound ?
Doctor.
I am a doctor pure and good and with my sword can staunch his blood. If you have a mind this man's life to save, full 50 guineas I must have.
Prince George.
What can you cure, Doctor ?
Doctor.
I can cure the plague within the plague without the palsy and the gout. Moreover than that if you bring me an old woman and huckle bone of her toe be broke, I can set it again and if you don't believe what I say, Enter in St. Patrick and clear the way.
St. Patrick.
Here come I St. Patrick in shining armour bright, a famous champion and a worthy Knight. What was St. George but St. Patrick's boy ? he fed a horse 7 long years I and afterwards he run away. Pull out your sword and try, sir, pull out your purse and pay sir I'll run my sword thro' your body and make you run away sir, so enter in Oliver Cromwell and clear the way.
Oliver Cromwell.
Here comes I Oliver Cromwell, as you may suppose I conquered many nations with my copper nose I made my foes for to tremble and my enemies for to quake, and beat all my opposers till I made their hearts to eke, and if you don't believe what 1 say,
Enter in Beelzebub and clear the way.
Beelzebub.
Here comes I Beelzebub, over my shoulder I carry my club and in my hand a dripping pan and I think myself a jolly old man.
If you don't believe what I say,
Enter Devil Doubt and clear the way.
Devil Doubt.
Here comes I little Devil Doubt, if you don't give me the money I'll sweep you all out. Money I want and money I crave, If you don't give me money I'll sweep 'ee all to the grave. Gentlemen and Ladies since our sport ~s ended, our box now must be recommended. Our box would speak if it had a tongue, nine or ten shillings would do it no harm, all silver and no brass.
They all sing.
Your cellar doors are locked and we're all like to choak and it's all for the drink that we sing, boys, sing.
Found in:
Tiddy R. J. E. (1923) The Mummers' Play. Oxford University press.