'THE VICAR'S DOG ENSURES RINGING PRACTICE ALWAYS FINISHES ON TIME!'

The best of the rest were:

"Sally, when I said 'lead and out' I didn't mean you! "

"When I said 'Lead' I didn't mean 'Walkies'!"

"All I said was 'LEAD'!"

"There he goes, chasing his own tail again!"

"I said 'Dodge away', not 'Dog away'!"

"Running home at the end of a lead"

'NO! THE COUCH IS FOR PRIVATE PATIENTS!'

The best of the rest were:

'And when did you realise that Bellringing and Escapology don't go together?"'

'Doctor, I keep getting upside-down ringing Bristol!'

'...then he calls single and we all end up the right way!'

'I learnt to ring in Sydney and can't get acclimatised over here!'

'Now tell me again, why is it called a surprise method?'

'NOW HAVE YOU GOT IT, ONE BLOW ON THE TRAIN WHISTLE YOU CALL BOB,

TWO BLOWS AND YOU CALL A SINGLE?'

The best of the rest were:

'School for the perfect wife: "Now we have done the steam trains, lesson two is bellringing!"'

'But didn't you know dear...every self respecting ringer has a train set?'

'Oh Bob, not another one!'

'Bellringing? No thanks, I'll play with my train set...it's cooler!'

'IT'S BILL THE PLUMBER CLASHING AROUND DOWN THERE!'

The best of the rest were:

'So that's where the President went!'

'They were cast in Loughborough, but got tuned to Radio Leicester!'

'These flowerpot rings get bigger and bigger!'

'I need a volunteer to get the Tenor up!'