July
9th, 2001
Regional
Sports Centre, Luton, Bedfordshire
Attendance:
2,933
TV
rating: 4.7
(The Hammerlock TV opening titles roll and the arena becomes illuminated in flashing lights. The crowd come alive as the show blasts live on Sky Sports 3, but suddenly “Just Got Wicked” by Cold hits. Not even waiting for the light show to finish, Bodysnatcher William Blair marches out from the back with a mic.)
Chris Freeman: William Blair’s not wasting any time here tonight! Excuse us ladies and gentlemen, but Blair has caught us slightly unawares!
Adam Wheeler: Who does this guy think he is?! We haven’t even given you a rundown of the card yet!
(Blair gets in the ring. The crowd are booing him relentlessly.)
Blair: Cut the music! You know, ever since my partner Burke got sidelined with a serious neck injury…
(The crowd start a “Shut the hell up” chant.)
AW: I agree with these fans.
Blair: Nobody’s given me any damn credit around here! I get nothing from the people who run this dump! What do I have to do to get noticed? What do I have to do to get any TV time?
(“Linchpin” by Fear Factory blares over the speakers. Wasting no time at all, Byson runs down the ramp and into the ring. He slides under the bottom rope and Blair attacks him, setting up our first match of the evening!)
Byson
pinned William Blair with the Bull Rutt in 0:13:45.
Rating:
** 1/4
CF: My God, Byson just totally decimated Blair!
AW:
Byson’s been on one hell of a tear lately, ever since GrandSlam in fact!
I’ll bet Blair is regretting coming out here on Hammerlock TV this evening and
whinging now!
CF:
Byson’s not finished, either!
Post-match:
(Byson
goes under the ring and pulls out a bodybag.)
AW:
Hey! That’s The Bodysnatchers’ gimmick!
CF:
What is he going to do with that?!
(Byson
opens the bodybag and drags Blair’s limp body over to it. He stuffs Blair into
the bag and zips it back up. Byson then lifts Blair up and plants him with the
Bull Rutt again, while still trapped in the bodybag!)
CF:
Oh my God! Will somebody stop this man!
AW:
He’s not a man, Byson is a monster! An unstoppable, merciless monster!!!
CF:
Well up next here on Hammerlock TV, Scottie Hero battles Lord Potemkin. These
two have had an issue ever since GrandSlam, off the back of the bitter feud
between Junior Jones and Cuthbert Fharquar.
AW:
Potemkin and Fharquar collectively cost Junior Jones and Scottie Hero their
chance at capturing the Tag Team Titles last week on Saturday Fight Night, so
Hero will be out for revenge. Also, I have heard rumblings in the back that
Potemkin is very unhappy that Hero used the dragon suplex to defeat Fharquar in
that tag team match last week on our very programme. The dragon suplex is a
manoeuvre that Potemkin has perfected, in fact, that’s exactly what his
finisher, The Cultural Suplex, is.
CF:
I’ve heard that too. Can Scottie Hero gain some retribution over Potemkin? Or
will The Refined Brawler make Hero regret using a hold that he claims belongs to
him? We’re about to find out!
Scottie
Hero pinned Lord J. T. Potemkin III after a dragon suplex in 0:06:20.
Rating:
*** 1/2
CF: Hero has done it again! He used Potemkin’s own hold to put him away!
AW:
This is a disgrace! Potemkin is a sophisticated, cultured gentleman! First Hero
gives away Potemkin and Fharquar’s money, now he’s stealing their moves?!
Post-match:
(Cuthbert
D. Fharquar hits the ring, armed with a cane. He jabs Hero in the stomach with
it, setting Hero up perfectly for Potemkin’s Cultural Suplex. Potemkin then
verbally lambastes Hero for ripping off his move. Junior Jones runs in for the
save, but Fharquar cracks him over the head with his cane, breaking the cane in
two! Jones slumps to the canvas, barely conscious. Fharquar and Potemkin then
pose over Hero and Jones’ broken bodies and bow condescendingly, much to the
chagrin of the Bedfordshire crowd.)
CF:
Can you believe that attack? What a pair of pompous human beings.
AW:
You just hate them because they’re rich. You’re jealous of them, because
they’re better than you.
CF:
Give me a break.
AW:
Come on Freeman, you’re turning green with envy! I’ll tell you this, the
feud between the aristocrats and the punk kids is nowhere near over.
CF:
Coming up next, one half of the Punk Junkies, Brainstorm, battles one half of
the World Tag Team Champions, Society Bites member Kevin “Who’s Yer
Daddy?!” Bradley.
AW:
Should be a good one. Both men are more accustomed to tag team wrestling, so I
guess they have something to prove.
Brainstorm
pinned Kevin Bradley after a power bomb in 0:21:01.
Rating:
**** 3/4
CF: What a match! It was back and forth all the way, but in the end, Brainstorm escapes with the victory!
AW:
“Escapes” is right! That has to go down as an upset!
Post-match:
(Chaz
Harris runs down to the ring and he, Big Poppa Pete and Kevin Bradley triple
team Brainstorm. The crowd go wild as Brainstorm’s fellow Punk Junkie Twitch
hits the ring to make the save. He sends Pete out of the ring with a dropkick
and then backdrops Bradley over the top rope, right on top of his manager!
Twitch and Harris then start brawling. A referee makes his way down to the
squared circle and calls for the bell, starting an unscheduled match.)
Twitch
pinned Chaz Harris after a jumping DDT in 0:04:44.
Rating:
** 1/4
CF: He got him! Twitch picks up the win with the jumping DDT!
AW:
I can’t believe it!
Post-match:
(Kevin
Bradley and Big Poppa Pete climb back into the ring and attack Twitch.
Brainstorm returns to the ring, but Bradley low blows him and Big Poppa Pete
nails him with the Big Bad Booty Call.)
CF:
Hey, come on! There’s no call for this!
AW:
Society Bites are showing just who the dominant team in Hammerlock really is!
(Chaz
Harris then lifts up Twitch and executes the Cheese Cutter. Society Bites show
off their World Tag Team Title belts and leave the ring to a chorus of boos.)
CF:
What appalling behaviour exhibited by our Tag Team Champions.
AW:
They are just showing who’s boss. They are the dominant force in the
Hammerlock tag team division.
Valkyrie
interview.
(“Flight
of the Valkyrie” hits and Hammerlock’s Female Fighting Phenom makes her way
down the ramp, to a nice ovation. She gets in the ring and takes the
microphone.)
Valkyrie:
You know, ever since I debuted here in Hammerlock, I have been really impressed
with the talent here. There are a lot of genuine superstars in the back, and I am proud to be rubbing shoulders
with them. But there is one man around here, and I use that term loosely, that
makes me sick. He is the World Television Champion of this company, “Picture
Perfect” Jason Prentice.
(The
crowd boos at Prentice’s name.)
Valkyrie:
The fact that he even holds a championship disgusts me. He is an embarrassment.
He has no guts, no backbone. And you know what? I can beat him. I’ve already
done it once, and that’s why I am challenging him for Heatwave on August 5th,
so I can prove that I can do it again!
(The
crowd pops.)
CF:
Wow! Can you believe that?!
(Suddenly,
“Freak on a Leash” by Korn hits and “The Legacy” Luke Champion walks
down to the ring to cheers from the crowd. He has a microphone with him.
Champion enters the ring and confronts Valkyrie. He is shaking his head in
disbelief.)
Champion:
Hold on a second. We seem to have a problem here. You think that just because
you beat Prentice, you are the number one contender to the TV Title?
(Valkyrie
nods her head.)
Champion:
Well, I got news for you. I don’t think you are the number one contender, I
am! You see, I’m still waiting on a rematch against Prentice because someone
interjected themselves in my match at GrandSlam and cost me the title. Hmm, who
was that again?
(Valkyrie
looks at Champion, not amused.)
Champion:
Oh, that’s right, it was YOU!
Valkyrie:
Hey, if you think you are the number one contender, then why don’t you prove
it?
Champion:
Sure!
Valkyrie:
Okay then, how about you and I have a match right now, and the winner faces
Prentice for the TV Title at Heatwave?
(The
crowd voices its approval.)
Valkyrie:
What do you say to that?
Champion:
I say, timekeeper! Ring the bell!
CF:
Whoa, we’ve got a number one contender’s match right now!
AW:
What’s the point? Whoever wins, Prentice will just embarrass them on
pay-per-view!
Number-One-Contenders-Match:
Luke
Champion pinned Valkyrie with the All She Wrote in 0:16:30.
Rating:
*** 1/4
CF: There it is! That’s All She Wrote for Valkyrie!
AW:
That means that Champion is the number one contender to Jason Prentice’s TV
Title, and they will face off at Heatwave!
Post-match:
(Luke
Champion helps Valkyrie back to her feet, and the two athletes shake hands.
Valkyrie then raises Champion’s arm to a warm reception from the fans.)
CF:
What a show of sportsmanship exhibited by those two fantastic athletes, and the
crowd appreciates it.
AW:
It makes me want to throw up!
CF:
Typical.
AW:
You know, Champion should punch her now that her back is turned…
CF:
Will you stop!
Smashmouth
interview.
(Smashmouth
is standing by backstage with Kelly. They are waiting in front of the NWA-UK
Hammerlock banner.)
Kelly:
Smashmouth, tonight you have an unbelievable opportunity to become World
Heavyweight Champion in your match with Hiro Kakuhari. What are your thoughts
about it?
Smashmouth:
You know, after the entire Robbie Anthony fiasco, there has been a very bad
taste left in people’s mouths. But now it seems that everybody is happy with
our new champion, Hiro Kakuhari. Everyone couldn’t wait to come out and
congratulate him when he won the gold. Well, not me. I wasn’t out there,
hugging him and applauding him.
Kelly:
Why?
Smashmouth:
Because this whole situation is a shambles! This is NWA-UK Hammerlock!
The United Kingdom! We haven’t had one British World Heavyweight Champion yet!
That makes a mockery of this company! First an American degrades and dishonours
the gold, now we have someone from Japan demeaning the title. Well tonight, I
will become this company’s first World Champ from Britain, and I will return
the prestige and esteem of our most prized championship!
Kelly:
Okay…well, it appears that Bryan Campbell has assumed the managerial services
of Kakuhari. What will you do if he tries to interfere in your match?
Smashmouth:
Simple. They say I’ve got the hardest right hand in Hammerlock. Well, if Bryan
Campbell sticks his nose in my business, he’ll be able to tell you if what
they say is the truth!
CF:
You know, the comments made by Smashmouth do not necessarily mirror the thoughts
expressed by all of us at Hammerlock. Some of them were borderline racist!
AW:
That may be true, but there is absolutely no doubting that he is ready to
challenge for the title tonight.
CF:
The Hammerlock TV 20-Man Rumble is up next!
No-Countout-No-DQ-20-Man
Royal Rumble:
Kevin
Bradley won a 20-man Royal Rumble:
x Bailey and Byson started out.
x Muerte De Antedicho entered at 0:01:00
x Byson threw out Antedicho in 0:01:42
x Twitch entered at 0:02:00
x Cuthbert D. Fharquar entered at 0:03:00
x Rick Knight entered at 0:04:00
x Lord J. T. Potemkin III entered at 0:05:00
x Gaz Phillips entered at 0:06:00
x Migraine entered at 0:07:00
x Ben Winter entered at 0:08:00
x Phillips threw out Migraine after a flapjack in 0:08:24
x Kevin Bradley entered at 0:09:00
x Chaz Harris entered at 0:10:00
x Midnight Blue entered at
0:11:00
x Ian Powers entered at 0:12:00
x Knight threw out Twitch in 0:12:27
x Junior Jones entered at 0:13:00
x M.J. entered at 0:14:00
x Scottie Hero entered at 0:15:00
x Jawaid Kaleeq entered at 0:16:00
x Devon Ferrari entered at 0:17:00
x Brainstorm entered at 0:18:00
x Bailey threw out Byson after a moonsault in 0:21:17
x Brainstorm threw out Fharquar in 0:22:48
x Midnight Blue threw out Iceman in 0:28:31
x Jones threw out Phillips after a top-rope huracanrana in 0:31:20
x Jones threw out Powers in 0:34:08
x Hero threw out Knight in 0:35:23
x Bailey threw out Potemkin III in 0:39:56
x Hero threw out Ferrari in 0:41:08
x Midnight Blue threw out Harris in 0:45:02
x Jones threw out M.J. after the Long Shot in 0:46:50
x Bradley threw out Jones after a single-leg takedown in 0:52:44
x Brainstorm threw out Bailey after a rana in 0:53:44
x Kaleeq threw out Brainstorm after the Tiger Clutch in 0:54:34
x Kaleeq threw out Midnight Blue after a flying axhandle in 0:58:19
x Bradley threw out Hero after a flying bodypress in 1:01:49
x Bradley threw out Kaleeq after a duck-down move in 1:10:06
Rating:
*** 1/2
CF: I can’t believe it! Kevin Bradley has won it again!
AW:
That kid just loves Rumbles!
CF:
And what a great showing by the newcomer, Jawaid Kaleeq…wait a minute, here come
Twitch and Brainstorm!!!
Post-match:
(The
Punk Junkies hit the ring and attack Bradley, extracting some revenge for
earlier in the night. They nail the Rumble winner with the Grunge Plunge, to a
huge pop. Twitch and Big Poppa Pete run down to ringside and drag Bradley’s
semi-conscious body from the squared circle.
AW:
What the hell is going on here? Those morons had no business out here! Why
can’t they let Bradley enjoy his moment?!
CF:
The Punk Junkies obviously had retribution on their minds!
AW: They have minds?!
(Twitch
takes the mic.)
Twitch:
Listen up! Since we already proved to everybody tonight that we are better than
you two individually…
CF:
Now that they did!
AW:
Yeah, pity they’re a tag team, so it means nothing!
Twitch:
…we think we’ve got a pretty damn good chance at beating you for those
titles!
(Big
Poppa Pete shakes his head.)
Brainstorm:
So why don’t you put ‘em on the line at Heatwave and try and show the whole
world that we’re wrong?
(The
crowd pop. Pete is handed a mic.)
Pete:
You want the belts? You want a shot at us? Well, you got it! We’ll see you at
Heatwave, but you’ll never see our belts around your waists!
CF:
Whoa, that’s gonna be a huge match!
AW:
Heatwave is already shaping up to be a massive card, with a lot at stake! It’s
just a pity that the Punk Junkies haven’t got a chance!
CF:
Well, we’ll see about that. Their confidence is obviously through the roof
after their individual wins over Society Bites tonight. Up next here on
Hammerlock TV, Hiro Kakuhari defends the World Heavyweight Title against
Smashmouth!
AW:
Should be a very interesting encounter. Smashmouth is determined to be
Britain’s very first World Champion and he looks hungry for success. It’s
mandatory that Kakuhari avoids the right hand of Smashmouth and the Hospitaliser
power bomb if he wants to leave Luton with the gold still around his waist!
CF:
Don’t forget the wild card in all of this, Bryan Campbell!
AW:
He’s not a wild card, he’s a Blue Chipper! You’ve really got it in for
him, haven’t you?!
Hiro
Kakuhari pinned Smashmouth after a small package in 0:19:09.
Rating:
*** 1/2
(Hiro
Kakuhari retained the NWA-UK World Heavyweight Title.)
CF: Kakuhari really caught out Smashmouth there! He locked him in that small package and he escapes with the World Championship!
AW:
Typical Japanese, Freeman. Sneaky, underhand, devious…
CF:
Alright, I think we’ve offended enough nationalities tonight.
In
the car park:
(Cuthbert
D. Fharquar and Lord J.T. Potemkin are shown leaving the arena. Suddenly,
Fharquar stops walking.)
Fharquar:
Damn, I’ve left my jacket in the dressing rooms. Here’s my bag, and here are
the keys to the Roller. You go on, I’ll only be a second.
Potemkin:
No problem.
(Fharquar
jogs back into the arena. Potemkin lifts Fharquar’s sports bag up and walks
over to Fharquar’s brand new pristine Rolls Royce. All of a sudden, Junior
Jones and Scottie Hero jump Potemkin from behind!)
AW:
Hey, what’s going on out there?!
CF:
Jones and Hero are beating the holy hell out of Lord Potemkin!
AW:
Ooh, I hope they don’t scratch the Rolls!
(Jones
and Hero pound Potemkin down to the concrete ground. Jones picks up the keys.)
Jones: Hey Scottie! Fancy a spin?
Hero:
Oh yeah!
AW:
WHAT?!
(Jones
and Hero jump into the Rolls Royce and make a swift exit.)
AW:
They can’t do that! That’s Fharquar’s Rolls Royce! Someone call the
cops!!! Stop laughing, Freeman!
(Fharquar
arrives on the scene, just in time to hear the screeching of tyres as his car
leaves the car park. He helps Potemkin up off the ground.)
Fharquar:
What the hell happened?!
Potemkin:
Jones and Hero…they took your Roller!
(Fharquar
lets Potemkin slump to the ground and drops to his knees.)
Fharquar:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
CF:
There’s no doubt that there will be hell to pay for Junior Jones and Scottie
Hero, perhaps the time for that will be on Saturday Fight Night! We’re right
out of time here on Hammerlock TV in Luton, for Adam Wheeler, I’m Chris
Freeman wishing you all a very good night!
AW:
Freeman, don’t just sit there jaw-jacking! Dial 999!
Match
observations:
Click
here to return to
the card overview.
Peter
Abram, 07-09-2001