July
7th, 2001
Oakengates
Theatre, Telford, Shropshire
Attendance:
2,800
TV
rating: 5.3
(The show opens with footage from Hammerlock TV of Hiro Kakuhari capturing the World Heavyweight Championship. The scene then cuts to inside the Oakengates Theatre, where the masses of fans on hand are prepared for another night of enthralling Hammerlock wrestling action. Chris Freeman and Adam Wheeler are your commentary team at ringside.)
Chris
Freeman: Hello everyone and welcome to the Oakengates Theatre here in Telford,
Shropshire, the venue this evening for Saturday Fight Night! Get ready, because
it is going to be one hell of a night, as both the World Television and World
Tag Team Titles are on the line!
Adam
Wheeler: Yes they are Freeman, as we will see the most photogenic champion in
wrestling history, “Picture Perfect” Jason Prentice, defend his TV Title
against the dynamic Spanish sensation, Muerte de Antedicho! Also, Junior Jones
and Scottie Hero, fresh off a huge win over Cuthbert Fharquar and Lord Potemkin
last Monday, will team up once again in an attempt to wrest the Tag Team gold
away from Society Bites!
CF:
But that’s not all! Hometown boy M.J. will take on…
(“My
Own Summer (Shove It)” by the Deftones hits and the crowd come alive.)
CF:
…well, it appears as if we are about to be joined by a very despondent Blue
Chipper!
Bryan
Campbell interview.
(The
self-proclaimed Blue Chipper walks down the ramp to a chorus of boos. He looks
extremely heated. Campbell talks trash to a couple of fans around ringside
before rolling into the ring and grabbing the microphone from the startled ring
announcer.)
Campbell:
Why don’t you people show just a little respect for a Blue Chipper?
(The
boos grow louder. An “asshole” chant breaks out.)
Campbell:
It’s no secret that lately, I’ve had a huge problem with Migraine. He cost
me a match at the biggest event of my life, DTA. He caused me to be eliminated
from the World Championship Tournament due to his brazen interference. Then,
after I prove to him who the better man is by half-killing him in a Chain Match,
he has to ruin my big night at GrandSlam and put me through a table!
(The
crowd cheers. Campbell is stunned.)
Campbell:
I’m a Blue Chipper, for Christ sake!
(More
boos.)
Campbell:
Well, I’ve had enough. Migraine, you and I are gonna settle this tonight, one
way or the other, and we’re gonna do it right now!
(The
crowd pops. Union Underground’s “Turn Me On Mr. Dead Man” plays and
Migraine makes his way out, clutching his head.)
CF:
Here we go! Campbell vs. Migraine!!!
AW:
I hope Campbell knows what he’s doing!
(Migraine
sprints down the ramp and leaps onto the ring apron. Campbell removes his jacket
in preparation for a fight. The crowd are going absolutely crazy! Suddenly,
World Heavyweight Champion Hiro Kakuhari sneaks out from under the ring!)
CF:
Look! There’s Kakuhari!
(Kakuhari
pulls Migraine off the apron and spits a mouthful of red mist into his face. The
World Champion then nails Migraine with two vicious kicks to the side of the
head and hurls him into the ring. The Blue Chipper stomps away at Migraine and
then sets him up for Kakuhari, who plants Migraine with the Rising Star Suplex.
Campbell reacquaints himself with the microphone.)
Campbell: Hey Migraine! Look at me, you piece of crap!
(Kakuhari
holds Migraine’s head up to The Blue Chipper.)
Campbell:
Kakuhari wants me to deliver a message to you. He wants you in the ring tonight!
(Campbell
slaps Migraine, who collapses to the canvas, holding his head. The Blue Chipper
raises the World Champion’s arm aloft in victory. Kakuhari and Bryan Campbell
then leave the ring and walk up the ramp together.)
CF:
Wow, what a start here tonight!
AW:
Kakuhari vs. Migraine? What a tremendous match that is going to be!
CF:
Just like our opening contest promises to be, as Midnight Blue battles Luke
Champion!
AW: Midnight Blue was very frustrated with his
performances at GrandSlam and last Monday night on Hammerlock TV. And you know
how he likes to unload on his ladies when he makes movies?
CF:
Ugh.
AW:
Well, Blue is out here tonight to make an impact and he’s gonna do it by
unloading on Luke Champion!
CF:
Not in the same way, I hope!
Midnight
Blue pinned Luke Champion with the One Night Stand in 0:11:48.
Rating:
*** 1/2
AW:
Like so many of Midnight Blue’s co-stars, Luke Champion is left staring at the
ceiling!
CF:
No-one gets up from the…wait a minute! There’s Byson!!!
Post-match:
(Byson
hits the ring and hammers Midnight Blue with a hard clothesline, before stomping
away at him. Jaclyn Lick jumps on Byson’s back and rakes his eyes, but Byson
grabs her by the hair and slams her to the mat. Luke Champion fights back to his
feet, but Byson boots him low and blasts him with a hard power bomb. Serenity
and Kandi then get into the ring to tend to Midnight Blue. Byson snatches
Serenity and plants her with the Bull Rutt. He then takes Kandi by the hair and
drags her up to the top turnbuckle. The merciless Byson sets her up and executes
a crippling Michinoku Driver II from the top rope!!!)
CF:
Oh, my God! Byson has broken that young woman’s neck!
AW:
Byson has just laid out five people! Who is going to stop his path of
destruction?
CF:
Why, why is Byson doing this?!
AW:
Does he need a reason? I’m sure as hell not going to demand one from him!
CF:
Ladies and gentlemen, we’ll try and give you some information on the condition
of Midnight Blue’s valets if and when we get it, but I’m just being told
that the Migraine vs. Hiro Kakuhari match has officially been signed for
tonight, with the World Heavyweight Championship on the line!
AW:
That means that all three titles are up for grabs tonight!
CF:
And speaking of titles, the Tag Team Championship is at stake next as Society
Bites defend the gold against Junior Jones and Scottie Hero!
AW: For me, the advantage lies with Society Bites.
They’ve learnt from the best and have been teaming together for a lot longer
than Jones and Hero, although Jones and Hero have caused their fair share of
upsets in their time. Could tonight be the setting for another one?
Society
Bites defeated Junior Jones and Scottie Hero when Harris pinned Jones
with
the Cheese Cutter in 0:24:15.
Rating:
*** 1/2
(Society
Bites retained the NWA-UK World Tag Team Titles.)
CF: I can’t believe that!
Fharquar and Potemkin just robbed Jones and Hero of a shot at the gold!
AW:
What are you talking about?
CF:
Come on, Fharquar tripped Jones while Potemkin had the referee distracted!
AW:
I think he just lost his footing…
Post-match:
(Fharquar
and Potemkin lay a brutal beating on Junior Jones at ringside. Scottie Hero then
executes a baseball slide, catching both Fharquar and Potemkin in the chest with
each of his feet, the impact of which sends the aristocrats over the guardrail.
Cuthbert D. Fharquar and Lord J.T. Potemkin make a swift exit through the crowd,
while Hero checks up on the condition of “The Upset Kid”.)
AW:
How terrible!
CF:
Damn right! There was no call for those two snobs to even be out here during
that last match!
AW:
No, how terrible it is for two distinguished gentlemen like Cuthbert Fharquar
and Lord Potemkin to have to leave through the great unwashed! I hope they
didn’t get touched!
CF:
(sighs) Up next here on Saturday Fight Night, Jawaid “2 Sleeq” Kaleeq will
be making his debut against one half of the Hammersmith Hard Men, Rick Knight.
Adam, what can you tell us about this debutant?
AW:
Well, Jawaid is just a couple of months shy of his 24th birthday and
is one of the hottest young talents on the British circuit. I know for a fact
that Hammerlock have been keeping tabs on him for a long time now. As you may
have guessed from his name, his is of Pakistani decent. He hails from Nottingham
and is a huge fan of Mitsuharu Misawa, as will become evident when you take a
look at his ring style, which includes a range of tiger drivers and tiger
suplexes.
CF:
Let’s go up to the ring!
Jawaid
Kaleeq pinned Rick Knight with the Tiger Clutch in 0:11:06.
Rating:
** 3/4
CF: What a move by Kaleeq!
AW:
It’s a variation of the Gedo Clutch, otherwise known as a back mounted cradle,
and Kaleeq calls it the Tiger Clutch. It’s hard to escape from it, that’s
for sure.
CF:
A very smooth and, well, I guess “sleek”, performance in his Hammerlock
debut by Jawaid Kaleeq!
AW:
That kid is gonna go far. Mark my words.
Byson
interview.
(Byson
is pacing around backstage. He starts to pound a door with his fist.)
“I’m
not done yet!”
(Byson
batters the door again.)
“I’M
NOT DONE YET!!! I’ve just started! Oh, violence! I taste, I TASTE
VIOLENCE!!!”
(Byson
headbutts and punches the door.)
“I
feel violence. I live for violence! I’ve just begun tonight! You know what?
Violence gets me off! I’ve just begun tonight!!”
CF:
Quite ominously, Byson claims he has just started here tonight on Saturday Fight
Night!
AW:
He laid out five people after our first match, and he claims that was just the
beginning?! Er, I think I have to go Freeman…I think I hear my wife calling…
CF:
Sit down, Adam! We have a great match scheduled up next as “The Iceman” Ben
Winter, a man who feels so bitter about the Robbie Anthony situation, takes on
fitness freak M.J.
AW:
In M.J.’s hometown, too. Did you visit “The Rubdown”, M.J.’s gym, today
Freeman?
CF:
No, I didn’t.
AW:
Well, you should have. You could stand to lose a few pounds!
CF:
Well, excuse me. I didn’t know my broadcast colleague was Mr. Universe.
AW:
Maybe not Mr. Universe, but Mr Universally Loved, Freeman! Anyway, you’re
right about Winter. He has some serious penned-up frustration regarding the
World Championship scene and if he can beat M.J. tonight, he’ll prove that he
is worthy of a shot.
CF:
And how much of a factor will M.J.’s Total Body Workout be in this match? I
don’t think he can utilise it against a 330 pound machine like The Iceman.
Ben
Winter pinned M.J. after a spinning power bomb in 0:10:29.
Rating:
*** 3/4
CF: What a beautiful
spinning power bomb by The Iceman! There’s no way M.J. could have recovered
from that!
AW:
Look out!
Post-match:
(“Shotgun” Steve Bailey jumps the guardrail and hits the ring. He plants M.J. with The Revolver, before ascending the turnbuckles and nailing him with the Bullet With Your Name On It. Bailey unloads with a barrage of punches on M.J. until Byson runs down to the ring and maliciously spears Bailey. Byson goes under the ring and pulls out a table. He sets it up in the corner and blasts M.J. through the table with a sickening overhead belly-to-belly suplex!)
CF:
My God! Byson has totally lost his mind!
AW:
He is destroying everybody tonight!
(Byson
then attacks Bailey again and aggressively demands that the bell be rung.)
Byson
pinned Steve Bailey with the Bull Rutt in 0:16:37.
Rating:
***
CF: What an effort by
Bailey, but Byson gets the win in the end.
AW: I don’t think anybody can beat Byson with the mood he’s in!
Post-match:
(Byson lifts Steve Bailey’s limp body off the mat and plants him again with the Bull Rutt. Byson works the crowd, who are hatefully booing him.)
CF: Something has sent Byson
over the edge, but what is it?
AW: I have no idea, Freeman. He is scaring the hell out of me, and I doubt I’m the only one that is fearful for my life when he’s around!
Jason Prentice interview, w/ Linda O’Neil.
(Jason Prentice’s music hits and the NWA-UK World Television Champion makes his way out accompanied by Linda O’Neil, who is by his side holding his title belt. Prentice is dressed in street clothes.)
AW: Isn’t it great to see
a champion that is undeniably Picture Perfect?
CF: Hold on a second…
AW: What?
CF: Prentice is scheduled to defend his title next. Where the hell is his wrestling gear?
(Prentice gets in the ring and calls for the microphone. The crowd are on his case already.)
Prentice: Unfortunately…
(The crowd jeer. They have heard it all before.)
CF: Aw, what feeble excuse
is it this week?!
Prentice: Unfortunately, I will not be able to defend my precious World Television Championship against that multi-talented, gifted, exceptionable, sensational, astounding high-flying Spanish superstar…
CF: Oh, now he’s sucking
up!
Prentice: …Monty…Misty…Minty…
(Linda whispers in his ear.)
Prentice: …that’s it, Muerte de Antedicho! You see, well, you aren’t gonna believe this…
CF: No kidding!
(Prentice chuckles to himself.)
Prentice: …it’s actually quite a funny story…
CF: My sides are splitting
already!
Prentice: …my dog ate my wrestling tights!
(The crowd explode in a chorus of boos.)
CF: What?!
AW: It’s actually more of
a common problem than you’d think.
CF: Is that the best he can do?!
(Prentice looks out at the jeering crowd with contempt.)
CF: I didn’t even know
Linda liked the taste of wrestling gear!
AW: Oh, you’ll pay for
that!
Prentice: So, now I’m left with nothing to wrestle in. Sorry about that, I know you were all looking forward to Picture Perfect putting on the prefect wrestling masterclass, but it ain’t gonna happen tonight. Once again, many apologies.
(Prentice hands the microphone back to the ring announcer and prepares to leave the ring, when “Tres Delinquentes” by Delinquent Habits blasts over the arena speakers. Muerte de Antedicho sprints down to the ring to a great reception. The TV champ begs off.)
Prentice: Wait, wait! Hold on there just one second, Jabroni!
(Linda corrects him.)
Prentice: …er, Muerte! Listen!
(Antedicho wants to fight.)
Prentice: You can hear me through that mask, can’t you? Right. We can do this some other time, like just as soon as I get my people to knock up some new wrestling tights, but I know you are ready to fight right now. So here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna let you hold my title belt!
(The crowd boo. Antedicho looks out at the fans.)
Prentice: I know you have always wanted to experience the feeling of holding a real, bona fide, championship belt. Here you go. Not too long mind, and try not get any fingerprints on it!
CF: I can’t believe this!
AW: What a generous and
munificent man Jason Prentice is!
(Prentice hands the World Television Championship belt over to Antedicho. Antedicho handles it carefully and scrutinises the gold. Picture Perfect then tries to snatch his title back.)
Prentice: Okay, that’s long enough…
(Antedicho rears back and cracks Prentice over the head with the title belt, to a huge ovation! The bell rings and the title match is underway!)
Jason
Prentice pinned Muerte De Antedicho after a vertical facebuster in
0:16:57.
Rating:
****
(Jason
Prentice retained the NWA-UK World Television Title.)
CF: Dammit!
AW:
Dammit, Freeman? That’s not very impartial, is it?
CF:
I cannot believe Jason Prentice! He is the most undeserving champion I have ever
seen, yet he always manages to sneak out the victory!
AW:
That makes him a great champion, in my book.
CF: Our main event, the fight of the night, is up next.
The NWA-UK World Championship is on the line as Hiro Kakuhari defends against
Migraine…wait a minute!
Pre-match:
(World
Heavyweight Champion Hiro Kakuhari makes his way out, accompanied by Bryan
Campbell! Campbell is psyching Kakuhari up on their way down to the ring,
offering tips and advice to the champion.)
CF:
Since when was Bryan Campbell Kakuhari’s manager?
AW:
Since now, I guess.
CF:
That’s preposterous! How can Kakuhari understand what the hell Campbell is
saying? He doesn’t even speak English!
AW:
Listen, I think it’s great that Campbell is going out of his way to take this
young Japanese superstar, who is still adapting to the English lifestyle, under
his wing like this.
CF:
He’s up to something.
AW:
Why must you always think the worst of everyone? Let me tell you something
Freeman, this is gonna be a terrific match. Migraine has spent a considerable
amount of his career in Japan, so he’ll be able to match style with Kakuhari.
Can he raise his game and capture the gold?
CF:
Well, he has retribution on his mind after that attack earlier tonight. Here we
go!
Hiro
Kakuhari pinned Migraine with the Rising Star Suplex in 0:20:46.
Rating:
**** 1/4
(Hiro
Kakuhari retained the NWA-UK World Heavyweight Title.)
AW: That’s Kakuhari’s
new move! The Rising Star Suplex!
CF:
What an outstanding contest, but in the end, Kakuhari retains the gold!
Post-match:
(Bryan Campbell and Hiro Kakuhari beat on Migraine a bit more, before throwing him over the top rope. Campbell grabs the World Championship and holds it aloft in triumph. Kakuhari looks on, confused, and then snatches the belt back off Campbell. The Blue Chipper apologises frenetically and leaves the ring with the World Champion.)
CF:
What is Campbell’s agenda here?
AW:
There is no agenda, Freeman. The Blue Chipper is simply helping Hiro out! He’s
a nice guy!
CF:
Oh, he’s lovely(!) That about wraps things up this evening here in
Telford on Saturday Fight Night , we hope you’ll join us again on Monday for
Hammerlock TV! For Adam Wheeler, I’m Chris Freeman wishing you all a very good
night!
Match
observations:
Click
here to return to
the card overview.
Peter
Abram, 07-07-2001