Gremlins Self-Arrest Form

Gremlins Self-Arrest Form Self-Arrest Form

If you witness a crime, it is your civic duty to report the crime to the police.

When a crime is committed,
you have the right and responsibility
to make a "Citizen's Arrest".

So, when YOU commit a crime, it would be helpful
(and provide a saving to the community)
for you to perform a Citizen's Self-Arrest

Instructions:
Simply fill out this form, answering all questions completely.

Enter your full name: Alias's:

Enter your Home Address: Home Phone No

Area: Work Phone No

Town/City Post Code:

Email Address:

Height: Weight: Eyes: Hair: Ethnic Origin: Sex:

Indentifying Scars/Tattoos, if any:

State the CRIME for which you are arresting yourself:

PLEA: Motive: If Other, specify:

Read the following statement aloud:

"I have placed myself under arrest.
I have no right to remain silent.
Anything I say will be used against me in a court of law.
I have no right to talk to a lawyer while I question myself.
I cannot to hire a lawyer, or have one will be appointed to represent me, before I question myself.
I have decided to make a statement, I will then nick a vein and sign it in blood.
I realise that I am stupid and guilty and deserve to go to jail forever."

WAIVER:

Do I understand each of these rights I have just read to myself?
Yes No

Having these rights in mind, do I wish to talk to myself now?
Yes No
(If YES to both, use the space below for your full confession
or other statement you may wish to make.)

Statement/Confession:

Memorize the following rules:
Do not leave your house. If you are not home now, go home immediately.

Lock all doors and windows.

Do not make travel plans.

Put any weapons out of reach.

Handcuffs or other restraints may be used (if you enjoy).

Remove your belt and shoelaces.

If others are present in your house, send them away. You can talk to yourself though.

You are not allowed sweets, desserts or candy.

You are not allowed any visitors.

You are not allowed to make phone calls.

You are not allowed to use the internet.

You are not allowed to watch TV.

You are only allowed to eat bread and drink water.

Consumption of alcohol or use of any other non-prescription drugs is not permitted.

Do not try to escape from your home.

If you do attempt an escape, use as much force as possible to stop yourself.

Report any attempted escapes promptly, by phone, to the local police.

Do not disturb any evidence in your home.

Lie on the floor face down with hands your behind your head.

Remain in this position until the police arrive.

To make certain your Citizen's Self-Arrest is received, post, Email or fax a copy of this form to your local police station, in accordance with the following instructions:

Print out this form.

Using a stamp-pad or ink-soaked sponge/tissue, provide a preliminary set of your fingerprints on the printed copy of the form:

Right
Thumb

Left
Thumb

Right
Forefinger

Left
Forefinger

If you have a recent passport-size photograph, enclose it with this form.
If you do not have a photo but do possess any artistic skill, do a rough sketch of your appearance on a separate sheet of paper.
(Do NOT sketch yourself wearing dark glasses. Do not add a beard, horns or moustache that you do not normally have)

If you do not have a printer, type or carefully draw a copy of this form on a blank piece of paper and fill in the appropriate information. Submission of a neat and complete form will be looked upon favourably in court.

Signature of Arrestor/Arrestee
(required for mail-arrests only)

Date

Sign and date this form and mail it to your local police station.
If you do not know the address of your local station, look it up in the phone book:

You are authorised to make one trip to a post-box for this purpose.

Or just Email or fax this to your local police station

To make your self-arrest official, press this button:

To reset this form, press this button:

Last Modified:


Enter your full name:		Alias's:


Enter your Home Address:		Home Phone No


Area:		Work Phone No


Town/City		Post Code: