Ye Olde Disclaimer
The Xena and Gabby characters are property of Universal MCA. It is
not meant to infringe on any copyrights whatsoever.
The story, however, is mine.
The story below contains adult scenes, not to mention some
immature adult scenes between two women, and more than two
women...but not like what you're thinking! Take your tartarus mind
out of the bedroom! Anyway, if you are under 18 years of age stop
reading now.
Of Note:
This story takes place immediately after my last, Heart and Soul.
I would strongly recommend you read it first, as things might not
make as much sense as they should if you just chomp into dessert
before dinner. But if you plan on being difficult just note that
Xena has a huge hangover and they have the voodoo xena doll
aboard. Of course it made the trip! It's a keeper! After that,
you're on your own.
And now for the HUGE disclaimer. This story is odd, it's crazy,
it's a furkin vacation. There are no demons, no blood, no tartarus
witches, blow up werewolves or any such thing. I mean honestly,
how evil can a vacation get? I will warn you that there is an
enormous amount of sweating, bitching, whining and irritating
moments. What vacation would be without?
The characters in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to
real names or real issues is purely coincidental. Right.
Enter at your own risk. And whatever you do...DON'T DRINK THE
WATER.
Vacation in Tartarus
By Trish Kerr (Phopas) - pkerr@interlog.com
Pronunciation Nit. It would appear some people have trouble with
my name. I only know this now from having traveled to xenite
gatherings in other parts of the world. So to stop any further
confusion the name Phopas as pronounced "fo-pa" as in faux pas or
Sappho inverted seeing as we're into it now. And if you feel the
need you can make it sound plural but usually the last s is
silent. fo-paz sounds kinda spazzy or something.
Prologue
-------------
Love Exciting and New
come aboard, we're expecting you
The Love Boat
soon will be making another run
The Love Boat
promises something for everyone
The Love Boat
"When are we going to get there???" Gabrielle whined, looking over
at her companion, her hands gripping the rail of the ship almost
as tightly as her own.
Xena's voice was barely above a seething whisper. "Gabrielle, if
you ask me that ONE more time I'm going to have to kill you." Her
hands clutched the railing even tighter as she fought the urge to
do just that while battling with the greater urge to throw up yet
again. "We'll get there, when we get there."
Gabrielle sighed and looked back out over the horizon as the ship
lurched forward, her body a prisoner to its silent rhythm. Gods,
gods, gods. She wished she could enjoy this beautiful sunny day,
crystal clear sky, incredibly rich blue sea that appeared to go on
forever and ever, but she was too busy dying. She gazed
back over at her lover, a strong, determined gaze emanated from
ice blue eyes as the wind swept Xena's raven hair across her face,
still as gorgeous as ever despite the circumstances. "Am I as
green as you look?"
Xena's eyes narrowed as she looked the petite strawberry blonde up
and down. "Greener!" she snapped back, but couldn't help but
catch herself admiring her lover's well toned and inviting body,
her green eyes sparkling mischievously through the pain. She felt
herself warm from the thought of standing next to her, and had the
urge to reach over and bury her head into her shoulder in the
hopes of escaping this torture. But that would require removing
her hands from this railing and that was just not a possibility at
the moment. Tartarus Trojan Game! She'd always been seaworthy ;
never a problem. Had, in fact, quite enjoyed ribbing the less
fortunate in the crowd. Well, it seemed it was payback time.
These things always came back to haunt somehow, and she was
pretty sure this one was coming back big time at the moment.
She closed her eyes, leaned over the rail, and threw up.
"Gods, Xena..." Gabrielle looked away, "You're not helping my
situation." She swallowed and leaned over joining her lover. It
would appear they shared everything now. How romantic, Gabrielle
thought, as she gazed down at the frothy waves lapping up against
the sides of the boat. She finally caught her breath and
looked over at Xena. "Isn't there anything we can do??"
"Well, there is a pressure point on the wrist, but that's only
good for sea sickness," Xena gasped.
"Yes!" Gabrielle cried. "And???"
"Well, I've got a hangover."
"Well, I don't!"
"True," Xena nodded. "But then we wouldn't be able to share in
this moment together. And misery loves company..remember?"
"Xena! I can't believe..." Gabrielle began, but then the ship
lurched forward again and she had to concentrate on remaining
upright. She turned back to Xena, and was about to lay into her
good when someone interrupted her intended tirade.
"Morning girls!!" The woman's voice boomed loudly as she came up
behind them, slapping them both hard on the back in an
enthusiastic welcome.
Gabrielle nearly went overboard, catching herself just in time.
She looked over at Xena, who appeared to be ready to kill the
perpetrator, her eyes now slitted daggers as she turned to see who
dared approach her in such a manor. Oh boy.
"Who-" Xena started.
"What's the trouble? Not got your sea legs yet, eh??" The large
woman bellowed out a hearty laugh, her strong arms slapping their
backs yet again for good measure.
Xena stiffened.
Gabrielle panicked as she saw intent to severely injure in those
baby blues. "Xena!" Gabrielle lunged over catching the warrior
just before she began her fisted swing towards the woman's
midsection. She landed in Xena's arms, in a tight embrace, and as
the ship lurched backwards both women went down. Gabrielle heard
the woman break into yet another hearty laugh. Perhaps she should
have let her lover swing round after all. She was lying on top of
Xena, staring right into those familiar baby blues, now dancing
with bridled fury. "Calm Xena, calm. This is our vacation,
remember? Rest, relaxation.." Gabrielle closed her eyes as
another nauseating wave swept over her. "Weight loss..."
"So, are you going to lie around all day or join in the
festivities?" the woman bellowed as she gazed down at the couple
rolling on the ship's deck. It would appear she'd have to work on
these two. Time was a ticking and they had much to do in the week
ahead. Not a moment could be wasted, as a moment wasted
was a wasted moment. She sighed, shaking her head and knelt down
beside the two. She extended her large square thick hand, callused
from many years of lifting weights and slapping people into shape.
"Name's Buttress. But you can call me Tess for short." She held
her hand out for a few more seconds 'til she realized no shake was
forthcoming. Hmmm, poor sports as well. She eyed the warrior
woman that appeared to be in a terrible mood. She frowned
inwardly, as she knew this type of guest always posed the
most difficult challenge. But Tess was never shy of a new
challenge, no siree and bobbin. Challenge was her middle name and
this could be her greatest victory yet. She'd heard of the
warrior woman named Xena and secretly reveled at the prospect of
breaking her. Oh yes, and what a Nike trophy it would be.
"Who are you?" Xena finally managed to spit out, as she
instinctively clutched Gabrielle tighter to her breast. The
leering Buttress had the eyes of a madwoman and she wasn't taking
any chances. She swallowed hard to fight another wave of nausea,
as there was no way in Tartarus she was going to lose her
breakfast in front of this. She eyed her up and down. She was
enormous, yet you couldn't call her truly overweight. It was a
general largeness that extended from her wide, bulky shoulders,
down her trunk like arms, across her gigantuous square framed
body, and down her solid oak legs. Xena couldn't tell if there
was any muscle definition as she wore an outfit she'd never seen
before. It was made of an odd loose fabric, in two pieces, one
piece covering her from the waist down in the form of pants, the
other in the form of a buttonless top. Both were a matching dull
gray; the top having what appeared to be a hood of sorts with a
string coming out from either side, more than likely to tighten
the hood. She wasn't sure, she didn't care, and she was getting a
really bad feeling about this vacation, and they were only an hour
into it. Hades!
Tess chuckled, her large frame shaking slowly as she smoothed back
her short brown hair, cropped tight to her square face, her brown
eyes gleaming with excitement. "Why I'm your camp coordinator of
course!"
"Camp? Coordinator?" Xena mouthed back.
"Yes indeed!" Tess grinned as she stood back up, placing her hands
on her ample hips. "I'll be your guide and events coordinator on
your stay. And we have much to cover in very little time. And
seeing as you've only signed on for a week we'll have to squeeze
in some of the activities, but I'm here to ensure you don't
miss out on a thing. Waste not, want not, my mother always
said."
"Waste...not.." Xena mouthed as she tried to lift her head from
the ship deck unsuccessfully. The bard groaned and nuzzled into
her shoulder. She gave up attempting to make eye contact with the
woman and instead gazed over at her feet. What in Hades was she
wearing? She'd never seen anything in foot apparel like this
before. It was a short shoe, ankle height, with a thick sole of
some sort of man made material. And the top of the footwear also
had lacing, similar to her own boots, but white in colour. How
odd. Perhaps Lynchia had killed them after all, and this was
Tartarus. Xena pondered this briefly and then shook away such
ridiculous thoughts. Gods, she was tired.
"I'll be back in a moment with the itinerary." Tess frowned as she
went to retrieve her clipboard from the ship's information area.
"Itinerary...?" Xena mouthed, her voice barely a whisper as she
watched the woman's shoes leave.
"Xena..." Gabrielle moaned.
"What?" Xena stiffened and then realized, too late, her reflexes
being severely hampered this morning.. Gabrielle threw up all
over her. Terrific! Just terrific!
Chapter 1
-------------
Hey - Land Ho!
If I get back home and I feel all right
You know, girl, Im gonna love you tonight
Land Ho!, Doors
"Land!" Xena cried as she jumped up from her fetal position on the
ship's deck, where she had been tucked in behind some barrels,
successfully hidden for the last few hours. She pulled the bard
up after her. Gabrielle swayed slightly and collapsed into her
arms, groaning.
"Land?" Gabrielle moaned. "Land?"
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Xena cried, trying to suppress the urge to
somersault through the air with the bard in tow. Never had she
felt so relieved, so renewed, so...
"THERE YOU ARE!" Tess came stomping over, clipboard in hand. "I
have been looking for you two for over an hour. We have yet to
get to your pre-briefing. Now, you won't know what's going on at
the briefing! I don't know what I'm going to do with you two! But
I guess that's what they pay me for eh?" She chuckled.
"Yeah," Xena said evenly as she reached for her chakrum.
Gabrielle came to just in time to salvage this delicate matter.
"Xena!" She grabbed her arms, wrapping her in a bear hug while
turning to the woman. "We'd love to hear the pre-brief, debrief,
whatever, as soon as we settle in. Okay?"
"That's what I like to see. Enthusiasm!" Tess cried, slapping the
bard hard on the back. "I'll be right over as soon as I've
finished with the other guests. I'll make an exception for you,
seeing as you seem like a cute enough couple."
"Yeah!" Gabrielle laughed nervously. "Thanks...great...yah...,"
She gripped Xena's arms harder as she felt the muscles quiver
under her fingers. The woman headed off in search of more lively
prey and Gabrielle felt Xena relax. She looked up at the weary
warrior, faint traces of dark circles forming under her tired
eyes. She reached up and brushed back a strand of loose hair that
had fallen over her love's cheek. "Hey you.," Gabrielle
whispered. "Want to take a nap?"
Xena sighed and melted from the tenderness of Gabrielle's touch,
as the rage slowly evaporated from her limbs. "Yes, very much so."
She smiled down at her young love, resting her forehead on the
bard's. "With you."
*******
"Funny. I pictured the rooms bigger," Gabrielle commented, as she
gazed out the window of their hut.
"Who cares?" Xena groaned from the bed. "As long as it fits a bed,
who cares?"
"I care. It's atmosphere, it's ambiance..it's..." Gabrielle
frowned looking back over at her, lying on the bed, one arm over
her eyes, still fully clothed. Gabrielle was completely recovered
and charged, having been removed from the evil rocking of the
boat. Xena, however, hadn't seemed to bounce back as quickly.
She walked over and peered down at the warrior. "Hey, you ok?"
"I'm fine," Xena replied flatly.
"Here." Gabrielle leaned down, taking her lover's boot in her
hands and began to unlace it.
Xena sighed, letting her arm fall down onto the bed as Gabrielle
removed her boots. Gods, she was so tired. She really needed this
vacation but she was already wary of it. When they'd arrived it
seemed different from her last visit, though that had been many
years ago. There were booths with trinkets lined along the
roadway that led to the main gathering area. And where there had
once been flowing grasslands, buildings had been erected that
appeared to house some sort of competitive games. There was
a general bustling feel that had replaced the relaxing, peaceful
air that she had remembered and had loved so much, the quietness
now a faded memory. She'd have to investigate later; she was just
too tired for that now....too...
"Lift up," Gabrielle instructed as she worked the clasps of Xena's
breastplate. The warrior complied and lifted onto her elbows long
enough for her to remove the armor and then she collapsed back
down. "I think you need sleep sweetie." Gabrielle smiled down at
her as she began to unlace her leathers.
"Sweetie?" Xena repeated through a tired haze.
"What? Don't like that word?" Gabrielle asked.
"No, I mean, it's just ..." Xena's voice trailed off.
"Just what?" Gabrielle paused from her leather removal.
"It's fine...new..that's all..different.."
"Gods Xena, you're too tight...do you know that? Too tight.
Lift," Gabrielle said as she worked the leathers over the
warrior's head.
"Sweetie," Xena repeated.
"Alright, alright! I'm just trying to expand the vocabulary here!"
Gabrielle cried in exasperation. "How about hon?" she asked, as
she began to work the shift off.
"Hon," Xena said flatly.
"Gods! You're driving me crazy already. We've only been here ten
minutes."
"Hon."
"Yeah?"
"No sorry..I was just repeating it," Xena replied defensively.
"Oh."
"Sorry."
"No don't be," Gabrielle sighed as she removed the last of Xena's
clothing. Once again Gabrielle was taken back by the sheer beauty
of the woman before her. Every line, every luscious curve was pure
perfection. Lying there with her eyes closed, her lips slightly
parted, her chest rising softly, well, it was enough to weaken the
knees. It was then that Gabrielle realized she'd stopped breathing
and in her haste to recover she inadvertently swallowed spit the
wrong way and nearly choked. She stepped away, banging on her
chest.
"Gabrielle!" Xena cried as she shot up into a seated position.
"Fine...," Gabrielle wheezed., "Fine, just some spit...fine..."
Xena propped herself on her elbows grinning at her lover. "Spit
eh?"
"Yeah." Gabrielle smiled through tears.
"I see." Xena paused as she gazed at her young love. "You coming
over here or are you going to stare at my naked body all day?"
"You need to sleep," Gabrielle warned.
"I need you." Xena replied. "Now."
"No," Gabrielle came back to the bed, waving instructions with
her arms. "Turn over. You're getting that massage I promised you
three days ago and never delivered on."
Xena's eyebrow arched. "Oh yeah...I forgot about that..."
"I didn't," Gabrielle replied, "And I'm always good for my word."
Xena smiled and turned over allowing herself to sink into the soft
sheets of the bed. She felt Gabrielle straddle her legs and
settle on top of her. "Yes you are," Xena sighed, closing her
eyes as she felt her love's gentle hands on her tight shoulder
muscles, working them slowly and expertly. "Gods, Gabrielle...
where did you learn..."
"Shh." Gabrielle leaned down, blowing a kiss into her lover's ear.
She smiled as she felt Xena shudder under her touch. "I have many
talents."
"Hmm," Xena mumbled. "Many talents....sounds more impressive than
my line...that's too many new phrases all at once...too hard to..."
"Quiet," Gabrielle whispered as she squeezed hard on a
particularly difficult knot between Xena's right shoulder blade,
working it slowly and methodically until she could finally feel it
begin it's reluctant
release.
"Gods...," Xena moaned. "That's..."
"Shh..." Gabrielle examined the healing wounds on Xena's back as
she worked, careful not to disturb them. "I'll need to remove
these stitches soon. Healing nicely."
"Hmm..nicely.."
Gabrielle grinned as she leaned down and kissed the warrior's
back. "Well I'm earning my dinars today."
Xena gasped as a shiver swept down her spine from Gabrielle's lips
on her skin. "Take ..em all..."
"Don't worry." Gabrielle smiled as she leaned back and began
working the difficult shoulder knots again. "I've already spent
them with my eyes, I just have to go back and get the goods."
"Terrific," Xena groaned. "More useless trinkets to add to that
purse."
"Hey!" Gabrielle stopped. "How do you know what's in my purse?"
"I had to go in there to get the dress," Xena replied in defense.
"By the way, was that sticky bun for me?"
"I forgot, and yes, it was." Gabrielle smiled as she began to work
her hands over a larger surface, and moving in towards her love's
spine, slowly running her hands down it's length in tiny
purposeful circles. Xena was practically melting under her hands.
"It's about time."
"Hmm?" Xena asked through a growing haze.
"You're loosening, I can't believe it," Gabrielle whispered and
she leaned down again, kissing her between the shoulders,
eliciting another quiet moan.
"Nice...", Xena sighed, as she caught herself drooling on the
sheets. Then the bard's hands lifted from her back and she cried
inwardly at the loss of touch she'd been basking in. "?"
"I'm here," Gabrielle whispered.
Xena smiled and closed her eyes as the bard's hands once again
began working their way down towards the small of her back and
working her well muscled, shapely rear. Gods, it was incredible!
Every fiber was singing under Gabrielle's ministrations. Small
shivers were spreading up her spine and tingling through her head
as each stroke pressed deeper into the muscle belly, urging all
the tension that had been building over the last few weeks up and
away from its prison. The bard began slowly working her way up
the warrior's back again, and Xena felt Gabrielle's body lean down
to caress hers, hardened nipples brushing against her skin. She
inhaled sharply.
"Nice," Gabrielle sighed as she allowed her breasts to teasingly
work themselves across the tender skin of her love's back.
"Hey...,"Xena gasped. "You're..."
"Partially naked, yes." Gabrielle smiled as she trailed kisses up
Xena's spine, running her hands up the sides of her lover 'til
they reached her raven hair, where she began to gently massage her
scalp.
"Umm, I'm no longer tired," Xena said tentatively.
"No?" She began to run her tongue across the sensitive flesh,
tasting the salty sweet of her neck, where she gently bit down.
"No," Xena gasped.
Gabrielle felt herself warm as she allowed her body to lay on top
of Xena. She continued to kiss her neck, and then her shoulders.
She moved her hands out to gently massage the warrior's arms
until she reached her hands, which she took gently in her own,
squeezing them.
"Nope...not tired..." Xena smiled into the sheets.
"Beautiful," Gabrielle sighed, as she nuzzled into the warrior's
hair, drinking in the scent of her and enjoying the silky
softness against her face. She gave a final squeeze and brought
her hands back to the warrior's sides, running them down the hard
muscles and locking onto her hips. She pulled her own hips
tight to the warrior, rocking seductively against her.
"Is the massage over?"
"Hmm?" Gabrielle whispered as she gently nipped on the warrior's
ear.
"Yes...," Xena gasped. "I guess it is." She drank in the feel of
the bard's taut abdomen against her back, as she felt her young
love warm from a building passion. It would seem this woman was
insatiable, which was a good thing as she was equal to the task.
She was feeling absolutely marvelous, the knots having been
loosened and her mind having been cleared. Now all that mattered
was the heat coming off her love's body and directly on to her
own. Ripples of desire were already spreading through her, a dull
ache already building within. She shifted around so she could
face her lover, as she needed to kiss her right now. A deep groan
came from her throat as she reached up and grasped the bard's head
in her hands, pulling her in for a long, deep kiss.
Gabrielle finally came up for air, pulling back gently and gazing
into her love's electric blue eyes. "Better?"
"Yes," Xena shivered, as another wave of desire spread through her
from the penetrating gaze of Gabrielle's eyes. "So much better..."
"I know ..." Gabrielle smiled and leaned down, kissing her
passionately once again.
Xena groaned as Gabrielle's tongue danced across her own. That,
and a building heat between her thighs was drowning out all
rational thought. She ran her hands down her lover's back, lifting
up her skirt and pulling her tight to her body. Gods, she felt
absolutely incredible under her hands. A wet warmth was already
pooling at her center and she was not sure how much longer she
could stand it before she needed to be touched there.
Gabrielle knew the warrior's needs almost as intimately as the
warrior herself. She quietly pulled away to place gentle kisses
down the warrior's neck, smiling with each gasp from her love's
lips. "Beautiful..." was all she could manage, as her own passion
was clouding her ability to make coherent conversation. She
moved further down and took one of the warrior's nipples in her
mouth, sucking gently at first, then more insistently. Xena's
hands reached up and pulled her closer, urging her on as the
warrior's back arched with each flick of her love's tongue.
"Gabrielle...," Xena moaned loudly, letting the sensations work
their way towards her center, an invisible connection she could
almost picture. She felt the bard's lips smile at her words,
knowing that this also drove her lover wild, and decided that
today she wasn't going to hold back. Today she didn't care, she
was on vacation and dammit, she was going to enjoy herself!
"More!" she gasped. She felt the bard tense slightly in surprise
but she was quick to recover and moved over to the other breast,
taking it hard in her mouth and pulling it expertly, sending
another wave of desire through her. "Gods, Gabrielle, I need you
now!" Xena demanded, then smiled inwardly as the bard's eyes widen
against her skin. But once again, Gabrielle was not phased, and
without skipping a beat she began to work her way down the
warrior's taut, rippling abdomen towards where she needed her
most.
Well, this was what she was like after a massage! Gabrielle made a
mental note to start off every day with one of these. Wow. She
worked her way down towards her love's thighs, stopping only
briefly as she gently parted the warrior's legs. She kissed her
inner thighs, first her left and then her right, teasingly
avoiding where Xena was desperate for contact. The warrior groaned
loudly and placed her hands in Gabrielle's hair in the hopes of
convincing her that teasing was indeed not always necessary.
Gabrielle smiled and relented, pausing for one more torturous
second before plunging her tongue deeply into her lover.
Xena cried out, her back arching off the bed as her fingers
gripped the bard's hair so tight she was afraid she was hurting
her. She quickly relaxed her grip as she fought to take in air
that had seemingly left her lungs. "Sorry..." she finally managed.
"Don't be," Gabrielle whispered., "Please don't be..." She smiled as
she settled in against her lover, reaching under and gripping her
thighs as she pulled her closer to her mouth. She worked her
tongue slowly in circles, savoring each deep groan from Xena's
lips. She looked up and gazed at her lover, her eyes closed, her
head thrown back, a thin sheen of sweat glistening across her
rising chest. Xena had removed her hands from her hair and now
gripped the sheets, white knuckled. Gods, she looked so
vulnerable to Gabrielle, so young, as she gave in to her caresses
and allowed her to control the speed of her rising passion. It
was this that excited Gabrielle the most; that Xena would trust
her so completely to let go and allow her to lead, as she knew
this was never easy for the warrior.
Finally, Xena opened her eyes, feeling the gaze of her lover
watching her, and her heart quickened. The complete trust and
understanding she saw in those eyes tore away any reserves she had
been clinging to, and she allowed her lover to step inside her
heart and hold it as her own. She lay back letting the bard
drink in her building passion, now shared. She released her grip
on the sheets and returned to tangle her fingers in soft hair,
now completely at one with her lover's beating heart.
Gabrielle savored this delicious moment as she knew it wouldn't
last. She could already feel her love's thighs beginning to
shake, her hips rocking more insistently against her mouth. She
wanted to slow down time but knew it wasn't possible. Instead,
she matched her warrior's building passion with an eager
enthusiasm of her own, burying herself further into her love,
urged on by desperate cries from Xena's lips. Then she felt the
warrior stiffen, as if to hold on for another exquisite second and
then an intense orgasm rocked her, as her hips bucked
uncontrollably. Gabrielle smiled as Xena cried out her name over
and over until her voice became a quiet whisper. Her fingers
flexed, squeezing the bard's hair, as Gabrielle felt aftershocks
pulsing softly against her lips. She gazed up at Xena, whose eyes
looked intently down at her. She immediately climbed up at Xena's
silent request, wrapping her arms around her.
A deep sigh escaped the warrior's lips, as she closed her eyes and
enjoyed the feel of tender arms holding her, Gabrielle's welcoming
body pressed against her own. The orgasm had been nearly blinding
and she fought the urge to immediately sink into a deep sleep.
Gabrielle needed her now more than ever, and she tried hard to
remain coherent.
"Sleep," Gabrielle whispered into her ear, kissing it softly. A
quiet moan escaped the warrior's lips. "It's part of the massage
package deal, didn't I tell you?"
"No." Xena smiled, as she fought to open her eyes, "No, you didn't
say..."
Gabrielle smiled down at her love, who was desperately trying to
stay awake. She kissed her softly on the lips. "Sleep. I'll
wake you..."
"But..." Xena started, but the bard covered her lips with another
gentle kiss.
"I love you, now rest...," Gabrielle whispered. "You're going to
need it, I have plans..." She kissed her cheek. "Big plans..." Her
eyelids. "Huge..." Her forehead . "Gigantic..." And finally the
warrior let go and slipped into a gentle dreamscape as Gabrielle
continued to kiss her softly. At last she was out. Gods, she
needed to sleep. The bard pulled back and looked at her lover's
features, so soft and innocent without the worry. She couldn't
believe how much in love she had become with this woman at her
side. Nothing else mattered anymore except being in her gentle
arms. She kissed her softly once more and lay her head on Xena's
chest, listening to the slow heartbeat of her sleep. She was
drifting off to its comforting rhythm when the knock came. Her
eyes narrowed and she got up from the bed, carefully pulling a
cover over the warrior and tucking her in. She headed over to the
door and opened it. Hades, it was the coordinator.
"Well hello!" Tess smiled, her eyes widening as she looked the
bard up and down.
Now what was her furkin problem, Gabrielle seethed internally, and
then she felt the gentle breeze on her chest. By the gods! She
slammed the door in the woman's expectant face. "Just a minute!"
Hades, hades, hades. She hurried over to her discarded green top,
pulled it on and scrambled back to the door, mentally scolding
herself... check clothing, then open door, check clothing, then
open door, check... She paused to adjust her skirt back into
place and reopened the door. "Hello."
"Hello right back at ya!" Tess grinned a toothy grin as she
eyeballed the bard up and down once again.
Great. Just great. "So." Gabrielle smiled innocently.
The woman continued to gaze for a brief second, then caught
herself. "Yes, well, the briefing starts in ten minutes. All
guests *must* attend," she said stiffly, peering around the half
closed door to see if she could catch a glimpse of the warrior,
but was denied as the bard moved in front of her line of vision.
"Well I'll be representing both of us," Gabrielle replied with
growing irritation. It had taken her two weeks to get the warrior
to sleep peacefully and there was no way in Tartarus she was going
to wake her.
Tess bristled. "I'm afraid that's against policy and we have a
strictly enforced-"
"Whom must I speak to about this matter then?" Gabrielle
challenged.
"Well!" The burly woman took a mental step back. "That would be
Martina. And she will not be pleased."
"Well my best...," Gabrielle hesitated. "Er, my wife here is not
well and there must be certain clauses in this policy of yours."
"I'm afraid not. As you can see." Tess shoved the clipboard in
the bard's face. It was a document that had to be at least two
inches thick. "It clearly states that all members of the Vacation
Plan A, which you signed for, BTW-"
"Wait!" Gabrielle interrupted. "What's BTW?"
"By the gods woman! It's short for By The Way, of course! What,
did you grow up on a farm or something?"
"Maybe," Gabrielle said evenly. What in Tartarus kind of place was
this? Xena had spoken nothing but praise for the island, yet this
was hardly what she'd pictured, shy the sex of course.
"Anyway, play tough little girl, and you'll regret it!" Tess
retorted.
"Take me to your leader then." Gabrielle stiffened. "Whatever her
name is."
"Martina." Tess stiffened. "And I'll have to book an appointment.
She's a busy woman."
"I'll bet," Gabrielle retorted.
"Well then." Tess pulled back the clipboard and unhooked a piece
of scrolls and handed it to the bard. "Read these over and be at
the central meeting area in ten. Failure to comply will not be
tolerated."
Where in Hades was the chakrum? Perhaps it was time to start
learning how to throw it around. "Fine, I'll be there." Gabrielle
smiled curtly and closed the door in her face. She breathed deep
the air, as she tried to calm herself. She rested her head
against the wooden door. Finally, she regained her composure and
turned back to gaze at her sleeping lover. Her anger immediately
disappeared. Gabrielle walked over and sat at the edge of the
bed, reaching down to brush a few stray locks of her love's hair
away from her face. Xena stirred slightly under her caress, a
quiet moan escaping her lips, but did not wake. She must really
need sleep if she didn't hear the knock.
Gabrielle sighed, thinking back over the last few weeks.
Everything had become almost a blur, the events having been both
emotionally exhilarating and draining all in the same breath. It
had only been a few weeks now since they had become lovers and
they had not stopped running since. Well, Gabrielle thought,
let me see. She'd been nearly eaten by a werewolf, almost drowned,
close to raped, kidnapped by a demon, nearly tossed from a tower
by a toasted madwoman, and yet all that really stuck in her mind
was the tender intimate moments she had shared with Xena. Gods,
she'd never been happier, never dreamed she could feel this
wonderful, this vulnerable and love it, this....
A knock sounded at the door.
...this pissed off, this irritated...this... check clothes, check
clothes then open door. Gabrielle opened the door to peer out at
a somewhat stout woman, shoulder length poofy brown hair, matching
brown eyes and odd clothing, yet again. She was holding towels in
one arm, the other hand rested on her hip in a casual manner. A
huge smile spanned her face.
"Well hello thare!" The woman smiled and enthusiastically shoved
the towels into her gut.
"Thanks...", Gabrielle wheezed as she extracted them from her
abdomen. She noticed the woman give her the once over.
"Nice abs," the woman quipped.
"Umm, ya......" She caught herself gazing at the woman's outfit
again. It was made of an odd stretchy material and she had to stop
herself from reaching over and pulling on its fabric to test that
theory. It was two pieces, pants and a jacket with odd outer
pockets which were basically useless for carrying anything.
Ridiculous, really. Gabrielle's eyes traveled down to her shoes
which were flat, leather, and cushioned. Very comfortable looking
but leaving much to be desired in the visual department.
"Sooooo, is she here or whut?" the woman asked.
How odd, the accent. "Who?"
"Xena! Warrior Princess!" the woman exclaimed.
"Well, she's...umm... sleeping"
"Ya know, I just luv her."
Gabrielle nodded. "Yeah, me to."
"Isn't she the greatest? Ya gotta luv the leatha, those gorgeous
eyes, who could forget those impossibly long legs, butt kicking
sword, and the round thing....veeerrryy cool."
"Cool? Well actually it's-"
"I mean, the jumpin, kickin, acrobatics" The woman jabbed her in
the gut. "I mean, it's a good thing she's got underwear, cause it
could get interustin'. Course that skirt you're wearing, guess you
don't jump, eh?"
"Actually, I don't wear...so...no then..I guess-"
"Yeah, there, ya see, I knew it. I knew it!"
"Umm, yes well-"
"So you're the tight little number that rides with the leather
queen, right?"
"Actually I-"
"Figured as much. So, what's it like doing it with a leather
princess?" She winked and nudged her in the abs again, nearly
taking her wind with it.
"Excuse me, I don't think-"
"Dominatrix figure. Ya gotta luv her, who couldn't?"
"Hey, she's-"
"S & M, girl wonder." Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
"She is not-"
"Sure, whatever you say, but we know betta, don't we folks."
"Folks?"
"Oops, forgot I wasn't talkin to an audience."
"Who are you?" Gabrielle cried in exasperation.
"Name's Rosie. Rosie of York."
"How nice. Nice name. Very floral. So you're a bard then to?"
Rosie chuckled. "Bard, funny. No I'm a talka, askher, questiona.
Inuendoer."
"Oh. So why then are you-"
"They've takin ova. Ya wouldn't believe." Rosie leaned into her
suddenly whispering, her eyes darting back and forth.
"Who? Has taken-"
"Shhh! Not so loud! If they heearre!" Rosie screamed under her
breath. "Jocks. Ya know..jocks."
"Jox?" Gabrielle repeated. Joxers? joxses?
"No, jocks!"
"Oh, jocks. Jocks?"
"Yeah, takin ova," she whispered, leaning further into the bard
nervously.
"Takin ova?"
"Yeah, artsies are getting ousted, that evil bitch Martina has us
all sucking wind big time. I mean who knew? Tell me this..did I
see it coming?"
"Martina," the bard repeated, working this over in her mind.
"Yeah, tennis bitch, muscular, in shape, calorie counter, the
worse, let me tell ya."
"Tennis? Calorie?"
"What is with you honey? Grow up in some barn?"
"Well, actually-"
"Listen, can't talk, don't know if they're watchin..." Rosie's
eyes got big.
"Watchin?" Gabrielle's eyes widened as well, as she began to
nervously look out the door.
"Yeah, my mouth's got me dooin towel time, anotha slip up and..
well, we won't even go there."
Gabrielle swallowed. What could be worse, really? Was there
worse? Yes, she supposed there was, but then those weren't even
invented yet, thank the gods! "Won't go there," the bard agreed.
"Listen, meet me after the briefing...we'll talk then, but
rememba...ya know nothin, and ya didn't hear it from me! Ya got
that?"
"Rememba nothin...got it."
"Bub-bye!" The woman gave her a large smile.
"Yeah.." Bub-bye? The bard closed the door and leaned her head
against it. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why
couldn't they just hang out? Gods, she was getting tight already
and she had yet to be briefed, what ever in Hades that meant.
Chapter 2
-------------
It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen
And as hard as I try
I can't seem to describe
Like a most improbable dream
Town Meeting Song
"Excuse me...do *you* mind?" A woman growled at Gabrielle as she
shoved passed her to get a better view of the podium.
Bitch. "Sorry," Gabrielle mumbled as she righted herself, having
nearly dropped the large scrolled document she had been studying.
It went on and on, and as obligated as she felt to peruse the
entire scrolls she was starting to fade. She was a bard, never
mind, and she was sure it would still take all her waking hours on
this vacation to study it, and then some. A tension headache was
already forming between her temples as it snaked down through her
eyes and back again. And the heat from the crowd was leaving her
breathless. She silently envied Xena sleeping peacefully back in
the hut.
There was a general buzzing of nervous chatter while the group of
what had to be over five hundred women anxiously milled around
waiting for the coordinator to begin. Gabrielle looked up from
her scrolls and scanned the crowd. There were women of all shapes
and sizes, some with very short hair, almost nonexistent actually.
It would appear she was one of the only women sporting a skirt and
long hair. She pondered this.
"Hey, look!" a woman whispered from behind. "Lipstick lesbian."
Gabrielle's brow furrowed and she glanced back towards the crowd.
A small band of warrior-looking women immediately looked
elsewhere. Were they talking about her? Lipstick? Lesbian, lesbos?
Isle of lesbos? Was this connected somehow, was this-
"Nice butt. Heard she travels with the leather queen," another
whispered.
Gabrielle's eyes widened.
"Quads look workable though...perhaps she's not a true lip-"
A loud tapping on the podium stopped everyone's musings.
"Attention!" Tess bellowed, tap, tap. "Attention!"
Gabrielle watched Tess pull out a loud talking thing. Nice butt?
Well, Xena had said...
"This debriefing is now in session," Tess cried, her low booming
voice echoing through the large meeting room. "All rise."
"We're already standing," someone called out.
"Right. Cutbacks. Forgot." Tess puffed up and readied herself.
"Now, listen up grrls, cause I will not be repeating myself.
Failure to adhere to soon aforementioned rules will be an
immediate revokal of island privileges, and the remainder of your
stay will be spent in waste disposal, " she warned with a toothy
grin. A quiet hush descended on the crowded room.
"Now, as most of you know, the island is in transformation," Tess
explained. "As you may have noticed on your way in from the boat,
new sporting complexes are well under way, *and* I might add, near
completion. There will be a naming ceremony on the tennis complex
immediately after this session and you are welcome to participate,
though your suggestions will not factor into the actual naming.
While this is still a democratic island, all important decisions
will still be decided upon by a small powerful few that would
include myself, of course." Tess puffed proudly. "But remember,
though your suggestions are not considered, we are still
considerate of your suggestions and will file them accordingly as
stated in section 246, paragraph 3, item 12 of our document. If
you could just turn to this now."
There was a shuffling of paper as everyone attempted to turn to
said page.
"Anybody know what *tennis* is?" Gabrielle whispered to the women
closest to her as she fumbled with her impossible document. She
was starting to sweat. It was as hot as Tartarus in here. A
grumbling of hushes and quiets were uttered from the closest
women. Gabrielle frowned, wiping the perspiration from her brow
and continued to search, in vain, for the page. Gods, she should
have taken Xena up on that offer for an orgasm, as she really was
beginning to tighten here. Perhaps they could swim to shore, set
up a campfire and make wild and passionate love under the stars
just as they had when they-
"You!" Tess bellowed, pointing towards the crowd. "Red!"
Gabrielle swallowed.
"No fantasizing during the briefing!" Tess warned.
"Umm..sorry...," Gabrielle replied weakly as she averted the many
eyes that were suddenly upon her.
"Now, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," Tess
glared, "if you could all now turn to page 349 of the second
section, these are the rules that must be strictly adhered to.
Rule number one: All food eaten on the island must contain no
animal or animal byproducts. Only politically correct food will be
tolerated. The body is a vessel that must be cleansed, and
cleansed it will be when we've finished with you. BTW, we're
having a blowout sale on colon therapy this week. Highly
recommended. Anyway, all meals will be eaten in the communal tent,
no nibbling in the huts, no crackers in bed. Is this clear?"
A hushed, mumbled agreement came from the crowd, and a few gasps
from the meat eaters.
"Good. Rule number two: No S&M activities will be tolerated
outside of the S&M section of huts. Unsure of where this is
located, Red here can show you." Tess pointed at Gabrielle, who
immediately turned a deep shade of crimson. "Rule number three:
All artsies must report to the main area to sign in as we need
to monitor their whereabouts at all times so as to limit the
amount of overt and covert artistic expression as this goes
against the prime directive of this island-"
"Wait!" Gabrielle piped up. Everyone turned to look at her and
she immediately wilted. "Umm, I thought this was the home of the
poet Sappho. I was kinda hoping I would get to..."
The crowd burst into a gale of laughter and Gabrielle nearly
shrunk a foot in height.
Tess turned to an assistant near the podium. "Put Red here down
for a warning ticky boo for mentioning the name. Now, as I was
saying, all artsies will be monitored by trackers to ensure NO
unnecessary singing, storytelling, drawing, painting, doodling,
*fantasizing*, " Tess looked over at Gabrielle. " As this could be
considered prebardial mental prep, no sculpting, finger painting
and so on will occur outside of a structured and controlled
environment. You will be allotted no more than ten minutes a day
weekdays, fifteen on weekends, and for each minute spent in such
activities a disproportionate factor of ten will be required in
volunteer assignments in the gaming tents."
Sweat was beginning to pour off the bard now, and she kept
attempting to wipe it away. Her document was beginning to get
soggy in her hands. She listened as the woman went on and on,
careful not to think about sex again in case another *ticky boo?*
went against her. Gods, if this didn't end soon she was going
to pass out for sure. By the gods, she was going to be tracked!
Artsie?? Artsie?? She could barely breathe...she really needed to
lie down...just how hot was this place??..she really needed to
crawl away from this Tartarus gathering...she really needed...
to...get...out...
The bard went down in a heap and the crowd parted in collective
shock.
*******
All the counselors hate the waiters,
And the lake has alligators.
And the head coach wants no sissies,
So she reads to us from something called Ulysses.
Take me home..oh mudda fadda, take me home...
Hello Mudda, Hello Father (A letter
from Camp)
Xena's eyes opened. She was staring at an unfamiliar ceiling and
for a split second she panicked Then her memory flooded back and
she smiled, stretching her long legs, her arms reaching back over
her head as she replayed her last waking moments with Gabrielle.
She propped herself up on her elbows and surveyed the room, a tad
disappointed that the bard was not there. A warmth spread across
her heart at the thought of her love as she was feeling refreshed
and anxious to see her. She got up, lifted the sheet from
her naked form and wandered over to the table near the window that
held a basin. She threw water on her face, enjoying the
refreshing cool against her skin. Now where would Gabrielle have
gone? Something about a brief-
A knock came at the door.
Xena walked over and opened it. Her eyes widened and her heart
lurched. A big woman was holding an unconscious Gabrielle in her
arms! "What happened?!"
"Passed out," the woman replied. "Here." She shoved her into
Xena's outstretched arms. "Tell her when she wakes she's down for
two ticky boos will you?...Furkin artsies...," she grumbled under
breath and turned to leave.
Xena's mouth hung open in the doorway for a few more seconds
before she shook herself out of shock. She looked down at her
lover who was drenched in sweat. What in Hades? She closed the
door with her foot and carried her over to the bed where she lay
her down gently. She quickly got up and went over to the basin,
picked it up and carried it back with her. She seated herself
beside the fallen bard, grabbed a cloth, soaked it in the water
and began wiping her face, which was still hot to the touch.
Gabrielle stirred under her touch, moaning softly. "Gabrielle?"
Xena called. The bard seemed to respond to her voice and her
eyelids fluttered. Xena took a relieved breath. "Hey you.." Xena
spoke softly to her as Gabrielle opened her eyes, locking onto the
warrior's concerned look.
"Gods, Xena...," Gabrielle mumbled as she slowly regained
consciousness. "I had this nightmare..."
"You did? You alright," Xena paused, bracing herself, "sweetie?"
"I'm a little tired..." Gabrielle smiled up at her. "It was really
weird, there were these women and they were gathered around me and
taunting me about these rules, and ticky boos and quads and artsie
tracking and.."
"Oh, apparently you have two ticky boos now. Does that mean
anything to you?" Xena asked worriedly.
Gabrielle shot up into a seated position, clutching the warrior's
arms. "It wasn't a dream???"
"What wasn't?"
"We're on an island?" Gabrielle asked weakly.
"Yes... we... are. The...Isle...of...Lesbos..." Xena spoke slowly.
Perhaps the heat had affected her more deeply.
"By the gods!" Gabrielle collapsed back down on the bed.
Xena put her hand on the bard's forehead. She didn't appear
feverish but she wasn't taking any chances. "Lie still," Gods,
"Hon."
Gabrielle shot into a seated position again, grabbing the
warrior's arms harder this time. "Xena, we have to get off this
island. *NOW*"
"Calm down Gabrielle." Xena tired to soothe her. "You passed out,
and you're just a little confused-"
"NO! No confusion!" the bard cried. "You gotta get me out of here.
NOW! I'm an artsie and they're gonna get me! I'm an artsie, Xena!
An artsie!!!"
The warrior gently pushed the bard back down on the bed, holding
her there. "Gabrielle, relax. This is a vacation. You are going
to be fine. You are with me, and I have no idea what you're
talking about, but nothing bad will happen to you." Xena's brow
furrowed. Artzees? Perhaps this was a delayed reaction to
the stress of the last few weeks. After all, they had been to
Tartarus and back and the bard had held up remarkably well,
perhaps too well. She picked up the cloth and began to dampen her
lover's forehead. "Just rest. You're going to be fine."
Gabrielle swallowed and closed her eyes, letting the gentle touch
of her lover's hand calm her. "We really got to get..."
"Shh," Xena whispered. "Breathe deeply and calm, Gabrielle. You
overheated and you're not thinking straight."
Gabrielle complied and breathed deeply, letting Xena's voice work
it's way through her muscles, as they slowly relaxed. She opened
her eyes and looked up pleadingly at the warrior. "Can we leave in
the morning then?"
Xena shook her head. "The boat is gone and won't be back for a
week. It would take us twice that long to paddle back." She
chuckled. "Gabrielle, it's okay to have a vacation. It's okay,
really."
"What if we paddled through the night as well...would it be
faster?"
Xena was truly starting to worry now. "Gabrielle, you're
overreacting."
"You weren't at the briefing Xena!" Gabrielle cried. "It was
horrible. , There were the jocks and the artsies and there was
this huge document..." The bard looked around the room wildly.
"Where is it? Where's the document!!!??? If I don't memorize-"
"Calm." Xena gently pushed the bard back down. Joxs? "We'll talk
later. Rest."
"Rest?" Gabrielle replied weakly.
Xena nodded. "Lie still, (pause) hon."
Gabrielle smiled. "You know, you don't have to use it."
"No, really, it's fine. I'll get used to it, really I will.."
Finally the bard relaxed somewhat and allowed the warrior to
sponge her face with the cool compress. "Did you know you're
adorable?"
Xena relaxed as the bard did, running the cloth down her neck and
shoulders. "No, I didn't." She smiled and lay the cloth down and
untied the bard's top, releasing her breasts. The warrior picked
up the cloth and swept it down her front, running her thumbs
across her nipples. "Better?"
"Yes," Gabrielle gasped, as a shiver swept down her body and into
her groin. Then she looked worriedly at Xena. "Do you think it's
okay to think about sex all the time?"
"Very okay." Xena grinned down at her. "As long as it's with
me."
The bard nodded seriously. "Just checking." Then she gasped
again as the warrior squeezed both nipples hard with her strong
hands. "Gods...Xena...that's..."
"Very okay." The warrior smiled and dipped the cloth back in the
basin, her eyes never leaving her lover who was watching her
intently now. She placed the cold compress on the bard's stomach,
who flinched slightly from the coolness and then savored it as
the warrior moved the cloth in a circular motion around her hard
abdomen. The bard's breath quickened with each stroke.
Despite the cool compress Gabrielle was beginning to warm, and it
was spreading outward from her loins. She gazed at her love as
she gently stroked her, mesmerized by her beauty. Just looking at
her sent shivers down her spine at the thought of making
passionate love with her, anywhere, anytime - like right
now. "Xena?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you think we could...?"
"Yes." Xena smiled down at her enthusiastic lover. "That's what
vacation is all about...didn't I tell you?"
"No, you never said, and I was beginning to think the whole
vacation thing was too stressful, I mean...if I..."
"Hush." The warrior put her finger on the bard's lips and leaned
down to cover them with a sensual kiss that immediately quieted
the bard's further panicked thoughts.
*******
"Who let her on the boat?" the woman asked, irritation evident in
her brow as she reached over with her hand and swung hard at the
ball, making a loud smacking sound.
"Well she had the dinars and..." Tess replied defensively, standing
further back and out of harm's way.
"We're too close to finalization on this deal and I can't afford
any slip ups," the woman spat with growing irritation as she ran
past Tess and swung hard again, sending the ball back over the
net. It made a loud whomp on contact.
"What threat could she possibly pose to us?" Tess ducked a
returning ball, nearly going down on her knees.
"She's a meddler, do-gooder, sympathizer." Smack went the ball,
back again. A thin sheen of sweat covered the woman's hardened
muscular features.
"She's a warrior Martina!" Tess retorted. "Not an artsie!"
"But she travels with one." Whomp!
"Well she's got abs and quads...I think she's convertible..."
"Never!" Martina cried, as she smacked the ball harder than
necessary, sending it sailing far over the net and nearly out of
bounds. "There's no such thing as a half-breed! If she's got
artsie tendencies..." Whomp! "...she's an artsie!"
Tess frowned . "I'll put her on waste duty then. She's already
got two ticks as it is. One more and she's slinging-"
"DOWN!" Martina cried as the racquet sailed by Tess's head, making
hard contact with the ball.
"Shit!" Tess cried, as she nearly lost the top of her head.
"Well I'm holding you personally responsible." Whomp! "Anything
happens and you'll be slinging-" Martina swung hard, but the ball
grazed the racquet and veered to the right and out of bounds.
"SHIT!"
Tess's eyes widened.
Chapter 3
-------------
You can't always get what you want.
But if you try sometime, yeah,
You just might find you get what you need!
Rolling Stones
Quiet moans filled the afternoon air as Gabrielle drank in the
sensations of Xena's lips on her body. The warrior was kissing
her everywhere and she was floating in the feel of it. "Wow ..
that's ...feels...so.."
"Mmm..." Xena nodded as she let her mouth work it's way back and
forth across her lover's tender shoulders, enjoying the taste of
her skin on her tongue as she gently nipped at the most sensitive
parts. She was feeling the most relaxed she had in months. She
could hardly believe it; the extreme tension that had covered her
for the longest while was finally dissipating. She continued to
work her way down towards her lover's chest, who was eagerly
awaiting her soft lips. The feel of Gabrielle's delicate skin
against her tongue was washing away everything. This quiet act of
giving was cleansing her very soul as she lost herself in the warm
heat of her love's rising passion.
"Xena..."
"Mmm?"
"I've changed my mind about..." Gabrielle gasped as the warrior
took her nipple in her mouth, pulling teasingly on it.
"...vacation...it's...kinda..." gasp, "ok...once...gods...you..."
"Um hmm." Xena nodded into her lover's skin.
Knock.
Two pairs of eyes widened, then narrowed.
"Don't answer it!" Gabrielle whispered pleadingly at her lover.
Knock, KNOCK.
Pause.
The warrior looked at Gabrielle for further instructions. The bard
finally sighed in exasperation and gave the nod towards the door.
Xena reluctantly rose naked, and walked towards the door.
"Xena!" Gabrielle cried. "Your clothes!!"
The warrior just shrugged, too irritated to bother, and opened the
door. She nearly jumped back a foot.
"XENA!!! WARRIOR PRINCESS!!!!" the crowd cheered!
Xena's eyes widened and she recovered just in time to catch her
jaw before it dropped. She scanned the group of women. There must
have been at least two hundred, maybe more. A tough looking
warrior crowd, and they had her surrounded. She suddenly felt
very exposed. "Yes?"
"OH GREAT WARRIOR, YOU ARE OUR IDOL!!" they cried in unison.
Hades. "That's, um, very nice. Listen, I was just-"
"WE ANXIOUSLY AWAIT YOUR PRESENCE IN THE GAMING ARENA!!!!"
"Well, unfortunately, you see, I'm-"
"THE CHAKRUM TOSS IS ABOUT TO BEGIN, YOUR GREAT NAKEDNESS!!!"
"That's nice...really...great, but you see-"
"IT'S IN YOUR HONOR! WE'VE ORGANIZED IT JUST FOR YOU!!!!" they
cried enthusiastically.
"Terrific." Pause. "Just a moment." She closed the door and
turned towards Gabrielle. "Umm, sweetie?"
"Go." Gabrielle cried in exasperation and flopped back down on the
bed.
"I couldn't, really-"
"Just put some clothes on first." Gabrielle sighed, staring up at
the ceiling.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"I won't be long...I promise."
"Sure."
*******
The chakrum whizzed by the spectators and they instinctively
leaned back, though they needn't have. It continued on, caroming
off the five barrels erected in the ring, making a sharp right
turn and slicing through seven sword tips as if they were butter,
spiraling round an iron pole, making three rotations and then
springing back high into the air where a certain expert hand
grabbed it triumphantly. The crowd immediately broke into loud,
boisterous cheering.
Xena blushed every slightly, a tiny grin forming at the corner of
her mouth.
"That was MAGNIFICENT!" a short stocky built woman exclaimed,
coming up behind the warrior.
"Well, it was nothing... Really," Xena said quietly.
"Nothing! Well, that was *some* nothing!" she cried, turning to
the crowd. "Wasn't that great!"
The crowd roared again and began to chant. "Xena. Xena. XENA!
XENA!!!"
By the gods. The warrior silently cringed. How long had it been
exactly since she was gone now? How long before she was in some
serious...
*******
Gabrielle tapped her fingers on the night stand while she tried to
control a burning irrational rage that had begun only moments
after Xena had headed off with the crowd. However, it was well
past the burning point now and was working its way into a full
blown inferno. She breathed deeply and got out of the bed,
walking towards the window in the hopes of calming herself. She
had absolutely no real reason to be angry, yet there it was, a
white hot flame with no direction to vent its excruciating heat.
Gods, she really needed to do something here, as this situation
was not getting any better. She walked over to where her purse
lay and grabbed it, bringing it with her to the bed. She
rummaged around in search of her amazon clothes. She would don
them and walk right into that Tartarus arena and show a certain
warrior princess just where her attention should truly be focused.
Hades, there was too much stuff in here. Where was that
Tartarus... Gabrielle paused as her hand wrapped around something
familiar. She got a far away look on her face, as if deep in
thought, and then a wicked grin began at the corners of her mouth
and spread itself across her very being.
*******
"Get the blindfold GET THE BLINDFOLD!!! Do it Xena. Do it
XENA!!!" the crowd chanted.
Xena sighed. Just this one more and that would be it. Gods, what
time was it? She braced herself and faced the crowd. "Do it."
And they came over with the cloth to cover her eyes.
*******
Of course, it wasn't truly evil if it was for the right reasons,
was it? Gabrielle worked this over in her mind. I mean, if you
thought about it deeply enough, you could really say that, in
fact, it was a good thing under the right circumstances. If you
used it more as a communication device, really, as opposed to an
instrument of torture, then it could actually be quite a handy
tool to add to their collection. Satisfied that she had
rationalized it enough, she readied herself. Now let me see, if I
start with the arms...
*******
"We'll need a volunteer from the audience!" the assistant cried.
"ME!! ME!! PICK ME!! PICK ME!!" the crowd roared. The burly
assistant headed into the stands and grabbed a medium-sized,
stocky warrior who eagerly came running down to take her place.
Xena frowned. Why did she get the feeling she was already in deep
trouble. It hadn't been fair, really, the way she'd left her
young love so pent up back in the hut. And Gabrielle did not
function well when denied. She was learning this quickly, though
she'd already suspected as much, given the bard's energetic
personality that always managed to find trouble when she was
bored. Xena pondered this.
"We're ready, oh Great Warrioress!" the assistant called out to
her as she finished positioning the volunteer beside Xena. "Ok,
she's just a tad taller than your girlfriend if you need to know
where her head is located."
"I don't."
"Wouldn't want to lop it off if you miss...heh...heh..." The crowd
burst into laughter.
"I never miss." Xena smiled, then readied herself. She judged the
distance of the woman to be two feet to her right from the pattern
and intensity of her breathing, that and the beating of her heart.
She chuckled inwardly as both the heart and lungs had quickened in
the last few seconds in anticipation of the toss. She
instinctively clutched her chakrum tighter and readied her throw.
She was slightly taken back by a tingling in her arms as they
began to warm. Perhaps the arena was heating up from the crowd?
She turned to the volunteer with a wicked grin. "Any last words?"
The crowd went completely silent. Only the gasp from the volunteer
was heard.
*******
Rationalization is a funny thing, Gabrielle thought as she fondled
the little arms. In fact, if you got right down to it, it was an
art form in itself really. For a panicked split second, Gabrielle
froze. Could it be considered covert artistic expression? And if
so, how many minutes had passed? Then she broke from her
paranoia, shaking her head and chuckling to herself. Gabrielle,
you are over the edge today, simply over the edge girl. She
looked down at the xena doll. Hmmm, it was time to attempt
something a tad more daring.
*******
The chakrum flew with lightning speed towards the barrels,
caroming off each one, making a distinct pinging sound that Xena
could count and calculate. It flew off the last barrel and headed
for the new set of swords that had been erected only moments ago.
Xena listened to the tiny slicing sounds as it cut its way through
ten swords and headed for the pole. It came in hard contact and
began its spin around and Xena smiled inwardly as she had thrown
it a tad harder to ensure a quadruple spin for added effect. She
was rewarded as a collective 'awww' came from the crowd. The
chakrum made its last rotation and catapulted towards the
volunteer. Xena was about to raise her hand to grab it when an
incredible surge of intense heat spread from her core. By the
gods, she felt as if... Her mouth hung open and she instinctively
dropped her hand as her knees began to give way.
The crowd gasped as it appeared the warrior was going down!
Hades! Xena heard the sound of the chakrum as it neared, and in a
last ditch effort she dove forward, extending her hand out to
catch it a minuscule second before it lopped off the unfortunate's
head. She landed down in a heap as a sharp pain spread up from
her hand. That joined with a greater heat that was nearly
unbearable, coming from her center. She rolled and jumped to her
feet as she lifted off her blindfold and looked around.
The crowd burst into a huge cheer! The warrior had made it appear
as if she were to fail and then in an incredible display of
showmanship, had beat the odds. They were exhilarated, and once
again began to chant her name.
Xena swallowed while giving her hand a quick nonchalant glance.
Her eyes widened only slightly as she saw the thin trail of blood
oozing its way out of her closed fist that still clutched the
chakrum She quickly hid it. The assistant came up and slapped
her hard on the back. She smiled weakly, but her mind was
racing. What the?... It was taking all of her warrior wall to
remain stoic-looking at the moment, while she worked over the
possibilities in her brain. Poison arrow? Fever? Dementia?
Gods, it felt as if she were about to... But that was insane.
Gabrielle wasn't even in the arena. Never mind... Never...never...
Then Xena's eyes narrowed.
*******
white ones and red ones
and some you can't disguise
twisted truth and half the news
can't hide it in your eyes
lies lies lies yeah
oh you know I know
Lies, Thompson Twins
Now let me see. That should be good enough. Gabrielle placed the
doll back in the bag and sat down on the bed. She fluffed up the
pillows and leaned back against them. She wanted to ensure that
she looked her best when the warrior walked into the hut. She
positioned herself in a three quarter frontal to ensure Xena could
see all of her naked body and tried out various poses until she
decided on a half knee bend, one arm propping up her head, the
other casually draped over her thigh. Guestimating the time of
arrival to be almost imminent, she was not surprised when the door
burst open.
"Gabrielle!" Xena seethed through clenched teeth, her veins on
her temples pulsing, her body stiff, shy the subtle quivering of
rage.
Gabrielle swallowed.
"Where is it?!" Xena growled.
"Where's what?" Gabrielle feigned innocence, inwardly sinking
into the bed, wishing, in fact, it was a portal from which she
could escape this room.
Xena stomped over to the bed and leered down at her lover.
"It's... umm...," She pointed at her purse weakly, "...over there."
Gabrielle started to sweat as she watched the warrior reach over
and grab her purse, lift it up and spill the entire contents on
the bed. What's worse was that she had gone silent. Gabrielle
watched in matrimonial fear as her lover reached down and scooped
the xena doll from the pile of goods. She turned towards her, doll
pointed at her, as if to further a point that had yet to be
spoken.
Xena stood there, frozen in time for a moment, unsure of exactly
what she was going to say next.
Now despite the gravity of the situation, and Gabrielle was under
no illusions as this was indeed a situation, she found herself
stifling a grin at the oddity of the image before her. Xena,
shaking with rage, menacingly pointing a miniature of herself, at
her as if it were a weapon, and she supposed indeed it was.
Which further sent her over the edge and she almost burst into
laughter but held herself in check to ensure she lived to see the
dawn. And then she went into survival mode. "I, um, was trying to
fix the suit, it's... um..badly torn... from the tower." Very good,
very smooth.
Xena hesitated, her eyes narrowing further to nearly a single
slitted line that could be drawn across her features as she
considered this information. If her eyes weren't so narrowed
perhaps she would have been able to check the dilation of the
bard's pupils.
Gabrielle waited.
Slowly the doll began its descent until it hung limply in Xena's
arm. She continued to stare at the bard. "I see." Xena finally
spoke.
The guilt immediately covered the bard like a wet blanket. She
swallowed as her eyes inadvertently followed the doll's descent.
She could no longer look into the warrior's gaze. Then her eyes
widened as she saw the first red droplet of blood hit the sheets.
"Xena!" the bard gasped. "Your hand!"
Xena looked down. "Yeah."
Gabrielle practically flew over and grabbed it in her own hands,
examining the damage. By the gods, it was a very clean cut across
the palm. It would have had to have been a very fine and sharp
edged instrument that would definite... "Oh gods, Xena," the bard
whispered.
"It's just a scratch ." Xena sighed and sat down on the bed,
letting the bard fuss over it. She was not going to let on that
it hurt like Hades, as fine little cuts always did. Never mind
the fact that she hadn't actually cut herself on her own chakrum
in at least ten years. And even then she had been drunk at the
time. Well, at least the volunteer's head had remained intact.
"Just sit here. I'll get some salve." Gods, gods, gods.
Gabrielle got up quickly and went over to the saddle bags they'd
brought with them. She began digging around for the salve and felt
something crumble in her hands. She peered inside. It was the
flowers she'd given Xena. They were now long dead, but
unmistakably the wolfsbane she'd picked for her love in the meadow
outside of Karyaes. Her heart dropped and she fought back the
urge to cry. The guilt was so unbelievably black now and she was
finding it hard to breathe. She let go of the delicate flowers
and found the salve. She pulled it out and held it up to the
light, then looked back over at Xena, who was watching her
intently with a sad look on her features. Gabrielle burst into
tears.
Xena sat there and watched this transpire in mild surprise, though
not really. The bard had been lying and she'd known. "Gabrielle...
It's ok."
Gabrielle shook her head, indicating it was, indeed, not okay. She
couldn't bring herself to look at Xena. She continued to cry,
looking down at the saddlebags in the hopes she could find solace
in them.
"My hand hurts," Xena finally admitted.
This broke the bard from her self flagellation and she immediately
got up and went to her lover, finally meeting her eyes with her
own. She lifted up Xena's hand and held it. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright." Xena sighed as she reached up with her other hand
and brushed back a tear from the bard's face.
"No it's not alright. I lied." Gabrielle sighed and opened up
Xena's hand delicately, careful not to hurt it any further. She
sat down beside Xena on the bed, and holding her hand gently,
began to apply the salve to the fine cut.
"It won't need stitches." Xena tried to comfort her.
"I can't believe I lied to you, Xena." The bard shook her head as
she continued to apply the cream carefully.
"I can't believe I cut my hand." Xena grinned, but the bard was
beyond consoling.
"I mean, without trust... what's left?" Gabrielle whispered
through tears as she worked.
"Well I'm not exactly honest all the time either." Xena sighed,
letting the feel of Gabrielle's delicate hands on hers melt away
the pain. Gabrielle looked up at her. "By not saying things,"
Xena explained. "That are on my mind, sometimes."
"That's not lying, Xena."
"Well, it's not telling the truth either. Like how much this
Tartarus hand hurts at the moment."
Gabrielle smiled through her tears. "Any casualties go with this
cut?"
"Almost lost a spectator." Xena grinned.
"Gods." Gabrielle finished applying the cream. She got up and
found a cloth, then sat back down beside the warrior and began to
bandage her hand.
"Um, is there any way you can make that discreet?"
Gabrielle looked up at her love's eyes and smiled. "Yeah, I think
I can."
*******
"What in Tartarus just went on in here!" Martina seethed as she
paced back and forth, racquet in hand, swishing it around
dangerously in the gaming arena in front of Tess, who appeared to
be sweating, - profusely in fact.
"I believe...," Gulp. "There was a chakrum demonstration." Tess
cringed in anticipation of Martina's
wrath.
"Who authorized such a thing?!" Martina growled.
Yeesh. "An assistant of mine is a Xena fan and, well, it would
appear that the guests started to beg, and the next thing she knew
it was... turned..." Tess couldn't finish as she watched the
colour of Martina's face go from pink to crimson rage red.
Martina stopped pacing and walked over to Tess. She stood inches
from her face now, a terrible vein popping fury surging through
her, the racquet in her hand quivering from the vibrations. "Go
on."
Talking while not breathing always made communication more
difficult, and Tess was not new to this phenomenon. She had seen
Martina blow and had felt her wrath before, but there was
something different about this one. It was as if she could sense
a faint edge of fear in the boss's voice which not only unnerved
her, but was sending her down her own snaking path of deep fear
that was directly connected to the boss herself. She finally took
a breath and braced herself. "It turned into an all out Xena
rally. They were chanting her name like a champion."
"I see," Martina said evenly. "And the assistant?"
Gulp. "Will be properly reprimanded."
"Put her in Waste Disposal."
"But she's a warrior!" Tess gasped and cringed all in the same
breath.
"Well she'll just have to survive then won't she." Martina
grinned. "In fact, it'll be a good test of her metal."
"Yes, well..." Tess started to slide away.
"And you..."
"Yes?"
"...just got your first ticky boo."
Tess melted into her sweats.
*******
"There. That looks good, and if you keep your hand closed no one
will suspect a thing." Gabrielle smiled. She brought the
warrior's hand to her lips and kissed it as she gazed into soft
blue eyes that were watching her.
"Nice." Xena smiled back at her naked bard. She flexed the hand
a few times to check the bandage's durability, now satisfied it
would hold sight unseen. After all, she had a reputation to
uphold. Not that she really gave a rat's ass what these people
thought. Still, there was no way in Tartarus she would show any
sign of weakness in front of the other warriors.
"You're cute when you swear." Gabrielle smiled.
"I didn't say anything," Xena replied in defense.
"I could tell." Gabrielle grinned. "And come to think of it,
I've been swearing too much lately, as well." She frowned, then
looked back at Xena. "Do you think it's the stress?"
"S'pose," Xena replied thoughtfully. "Of course, that's what a
vacation is supposed to be for. Getting rid of the stress."
"Yeah," Gabrielle said, sighing deeply, her shoulders drooping.
"Why then, don't I feel relaxed?"
Xena smiled down at her lover, then lifted her chin to gaze into
her eyes. "Because I haven't made wild and passionate love to you
yet. That's why."
"I knew there was something missing." Gabrielle grinned. "Now?"
"Right now." Xena leaned down and kissed the bard deeply as they
both sank down on the bed. "Now where were we when we were so
rudely interrupted?"
"I believe," Gabrielle gasped, as her love's lips covered her
throat, sending a shiver down her back, "we were right..."
Knock.
"There," Gabrielle groaned.
"What in Hades!" Xena cried, rising from the bed with intent to
injure, no perhaps kill, no perhaps worse, perhaps... She opened
the door and instantly flinched from the searing pain that shot
out from her hand.
Hades!
"Um, hi there." A woman peered in nervously, her eyes darting
around. "Um, dinner, that would be the big meal, if of course
you're counting size, of course you could say that actually
sometimes the big meal is at lunch. But that depends on what
we're serving, and since we can't serve meat anymore I guess there
are no really big meals anymore after all. So, I guess that was
moot point." She laughed awkwardly, brushing back her short
blonde hair. "Anyway, you seem like, well, of course you're
naked, but then I could tell right away... Yes sir, that you'd be
a jock, of course, the rippling muscles..." She reached out to
touch Xena's arm,but the warrior reared back. "Um, yes, right.
Well, as I was saying, dinner, as in the big meal, today in
particular, is served."
"I'll get some later," Xena replied evenly, as she checked out the
odd blabbering woman before her, sporting, yet again, strange
attire. She had on a buttoned shirt that hung loose over a blue
pant material she'd never encountered before. And there again-
those odd shoes the coordinator had worn, only smaller. Her eyes
traveled back up to the woman's face, friendly enough, seeming
harmless enough, but the mouth was beyond irritating, it was
downright...
"Well, you see, that *is* a problem, 'cause food is served in the
main tent only, and well, if you miss it that would mean you would
have to wait, oh, let me see, a pretty long darn tootin' time, yes
sir, I mean ma'am." She chuckled, then the grin wiped off her
face as the warrior's own darkened.
"I'll catch my meal later then."
"Well, you see there," she danced nervously. "That wouldn't be...
heh, heh, um, a very good...well, of course *I* wouldn't try and
stop you. I'm not *that* crazy, but it is strictly forbidden on
the island, course wasn't always that way, but, those ticky
boos...whoo, you don't want-"
"Let 'em come and get me."
The woman's eyes widened. "Sure, I mean, great, oh big, I mean
impressive goddess, warrior. But you see there's this *tiny*
little detail. Since I, not that I had any choice mind you, don't
get me wrong, since I am responsible for the S&M section..."
"The what?!" Xena asked, leering down at the nervous chatterbox in
the hopes she'd run screaming. No
such luck.
"Um, that would be S&M, um, er, whips, sharp devices, tight little
leather outfits, very similar to your outfit. In fact, not
similar at all. I'd say right on the dinars - oh yeah, of course
not that I'm judging. Really, I'm not." She fidgeted nervously.
"But if you get a ticky boo, well those ticky boos are something
else, and you see, I get one, too and I can't afford any of those
as of course that would mean the waste disposal, and well, we
don't-"
"Xena, who is it?" the bard cried in frustration from the bed.
"Don't know," Xena seethed, as she bore holes in the woman's head.
There was a pause, and then the woman jumped back, pointing at
herself. "Oh, me, you mean me. Oh, I'm Ellen. Ellen of LA."
She extended her shaking hand. The warrior didn't take it and she
shoved it back in her pocket. "That's not L.A., that's LA, as in
la, la-"
"Got it," Xena growled, her hand poised on the door as she was
about to shut it.
"So then." The woman shoved both hands in her pockets, bouncing
nervously, a hopeful smile plastered on her face. "Are you
coming?"
Xena paused and then looked back at the bard for the answer.
Gabrielle rolled her eyes and nodded an affirmative. Xena turned
back to the irritating blonde. "We'll be there, and it better be
good."
"Gotcha!" The woman gave her a salute. "Will do. Nice muscles by
the way, yes, and of course the rest of you. Wow! There was a
girl, Talpita, from my Hercules Beauty school, she worked out,
well more like made out, come to think of it, all the time. She
had biceps so strong she could -" The door slammed in her face.
She stood there for a few more seconds, looking around at no one
in particular, then headed off towards the main quarters.
Chapter 4
-------------
First you get in line. And then you're in the line.
And then you wait in line. And then it's almost time.
Get in Line
"Hey! Watch it, Red! Go to the back of the line!" a gruff
looking warrior woman warned Gabrielle, who had inadvertently
butted in.
"Sorry, I didn't-" Gabrielle replied with exasperation as she
wiped more sweat from her brow with her free hand, while the other
balanced a tray.
The warrior woman glared at her. "Well maybe you need to learn
some-"
"Is there a problem here?" Xena came up behind Gabrielle, nearly
killing the smaller warrior woman instantly with her eyes.
After nearly fainted, the woman righted herself and finally found
her voice. "No...no problem," she gasped. "Here, take my spot,
please!" She gestured with her hand.
"Why thank you." Xena smiled curtly as she moved in front and
gestured to Gabrielle to follow.
This time Gabrielle didn't protest, and rather enjoyed having her
warrior around to show these women a thing or two. She silently
cursed herself for leaving her staff back in the hut. She had a
mind to smack that insolent-
"Gabrielle," Xena leaned down and purred into her ear., "Calm."
Gabrielle seethed. "Don't tell me to calm down, Xena..."
Xena's eyes widened. "Gabrielle."
The bard turned and looked up at the surprised warrior. She
pointed her finger at her lover's chest. "You!" Poke. "Had your
big O." Poke. " I, on the other hand, have not," Poke. "And I am
beginning to feel just about as tight as I can-"
"Gabrielle!" Xena cried under her breath. "You're making a scene,
not to mention brusiing my birthmark!"
"I don't give a horse's butt if I am," she spat back. "I'm tired!
I'm hungry! I'm frustrated, and they've got me down for two,
count em, two-"
Xena covered the bard's ranting mouth with a kiss that immediately
quelled the fire and ignited a different flame.
"Ticky boos..." the bard mumbled.
Xena pulled back and checked her lover. She appeared to have
calmed and her eyes now held a new sparkle in them. "Hungry?"
The bard nodded.
Xena smiled. "Then let's get this Tartarus dinner over with so we
can get back to that hut. Agreed?"
The bard nodded and leaned into the warrior's bosom for comfort,
wrapping her tray around the warrior's back.
Xena sighed inwardly as she gave the bard a big comforting
squeeze. This was not turning out to be the vacation she had
dreamed of for her new love. This was far from it. And what in
Hades had happened to the place? When she had last been here
there had been no restrictions such as these. It was ridiculous,
and frankly, she wasn't sure how much more she would put up with.
And she'd barely been here one day. She had yet to survey the
entire complex, but was growing concerned that it was not going to
be good, not good at all. She turned back towards the line that
seemed to extend forever. She knew she could probably throw her
chakrum around and clear the room, but that wouldn't be the right
thing to do. It was hardly a fine example for the warrior faction
present that appeared to idolize her. It was very tempting at the
moment though. Very tempting indeed.
"Xena! It's Xena! To the front of the line!" someone cried from
far ahead in the distance.
Xena struggled internally for less than a split second and headed
up there with the bard in tow. The line parted for her and she
tried to suppress a grin. Perhaps it wasn't so bad after all. As
they reached the front, she was careful to hide her bandaged hand
under her tray. Wouldn't want to appear weak beside her
girlfriend. Now since when did she care about what people
thought? And since when did she accept such forms of inequality?
Wasn't this exactly what she was fighting against? Hades! This
relationship was indeed ruining her. And she was starting to lose
her sense of ideals to boot! By the gods! Tartarus, she
was swearing again.
"Dinar for your thoughts." Gabrielle smiled up at her.
"Not worth that much," Xena mumbled and turned to survey the food
line, a frown immediately covering her features. She leaned in
towards the serving bins and tried to decipher what in Hades was
in them.
Gabrielle swallowed. Yeesh. She looked back and forth between
the serving dishes but was at a loss already. What the...
"Hello, hello, this is Romeo..." the woman sang to them.
Xena slowly raised her head to gaze at the server across from
them. She was a medium built woman with long, slightly scraggly,
dirty blonde hair. She wore a smock, but appeared to have similar
clothing to the dinner announcer underneath, except much sexier
boots. She had a welcoming smile that carried into her eyes, and
Xena immediately warmed to her. "The name's Xena."
"Shame, shame, but I love your name," she sang back, her head
swaying slightly to an unheard beat.
"Thanks," Xena replied, and found herself bobbing in time to the
woman's head. She caught herself. "So, Romeo, what's good to
eat?"
"I've got some strawberry wine..."
"Well, actually I was referring to food, or whatever that is in
those bins." Xena grimaced.
"I don't want to talk about it..." she sadly hummed back.
"That bad?" Gabrielle peered around tentatively at the singing
server.
"Don't ask me what I'm thinking." She smiled back.
Gods, Gabrielle groaned inwardly, then thrust her tray out towards
the woman. "Do with me what you will then."
The woman took the tray in surprise and began to pick from the
bins as she hummed. "You brought me to trust you, brought me to
tears..." as tears began to form at the corners of the woman's eyes.
Xena and Gabrielle looked at each other, then back at the server.
"Don't tell me," Gabrielle sighed. "You're a musician."
"I say I am, yes I am!" she sang back, as she placed various
indescribable food items on the tray.
Xena looked over at Gabrielle and then back at the woman. "Why
then, are you serving food? Last time I was here there was a
whole music area filled with gifted musicians."
The woman paused, looking nervously around, and then leaned in
whispering, "Meet me in the back."
"Ok," Gabrielle whispered, her eyes widening instinctively.
"After dinner?"
"Don't make me wait too long. I could change my mind, and tell
you that it's wrong..." she sang back in a hushed tone.
"Got it." Xena rolled her eyes and handed her own tray over to be
filled.
Chapter 5
------------
Don't drink the water, baby
Don't Drink the Water, Tears for Fears
"I think I'm going to be sick," Gabrielle groaned.
"You are *not* going to be sick," Xena warned, though her own gut
slid around precariously at the moment. "Stop thinking about it."
The warrior paused at the edge of the outer building and peered
around the corner.
"It's all I *can* think about at the moment. I've never eaten
anything as unnatural as... What were they called again? Tofu
burgers?" Gabrielle whined, as she leaned forward to peer around
the corner.
"All clear. Actually, it was the vegetarian weenies that really
got me," Xena whispered, and they walked towards the back of the
complex.
"Ugh. Don't repeat that word ever again," Gabrielle groaned. "I
mean, if you're gonna go to all that trouble to shape it into
something that looks like meat, then just eat the meat!"
"Yeah," the warrior agreed. "Crazy, when you think about it."
"Why not at least shape it into a vegetable!" Gabrielle grunted.
"True." Xena nodded. "But then, burgers and weenies aren't really
shaped-"
"Let's not got there, Xena. Not now," Gabrielle groaned.
Xena grimaced. "Yeah."
"They should have warning labels on the stuff," Gabrielle cried
under her breath, as they neared a doorway with garbage piled high
on either side.
"This has to be it," Xena said. Then she braced herself for the
aroma that she knew would come from the door, and she was not
disappointed. She swallowed her meal back down and entered.
They were greeted by a small collection of women who appeared to
be anxiously awaiting their arrival. And none of them looked to be
the warrior type. Some fidgeted nervously, others paced, and
still others hummed quietly. Xena immediately recognized the
dinner announcer and the singing food server. Gabrielle smiled at
the towel woman who was the first to break the deadly tension as
she walked over.
"Xena! So I finally get to meet the kick ass warrior herself!"
Rosie smiled, extending her hand.
Xena frowned, but Gabrielle moved in. "She's not the social type,
you understand."
"Oh," Rosie replied with slight disappointment.
Ellen of LA came over, nervously rocking on her feet. "Well, this
is great. We really, that is the collective we, all artsies in
general actually, even those I imagine not on the island, 'cause
boy oh boy, if they knew that the great Xena was willing to help
out, I mean, hey, they'd be saying to themselves, right now, Wow!
what a swell old girl she really-"
"What exactly is the problem here?" the warrior growled.
"Right, of course right, you need to-" Ellen of LA was shoved out
of the way by Rosie.
"Ignore her, she's in therapy." She smiled. "Anyway, the problem
is the evil Martina has taken ova the island."
"Taken ova?" The warrior puzzled.
"Ya, ova, and she's got us artsies relegated to slave duty,
stifling all creative expression indefinitely."
"How did this happen?"
"Well, apparently Sappho, you know Sappho?"
"Quite intimately," the warrior replied before she caught herself.
Gabrielle's eyes narrowed. "Hey, wait just a-!"
"Not now Gabrielle!" the warrior cried. "Go on."
"Yeah well, she was so busy with her poetry one month, she missed
a rent payment and militant Martina moved in and the land lease
fell into her hands." Rosie sighed. "Artsies are *the* worse when
it comes to legal documents. Anyway, we tried to fight it but she
had these powerful legal types and we just plain couldn't follow.
Now, by the end of this month, that being next week, the final
deal goes down and the island will forever be owned by the jocks.
And she's already started commercializing everything. She needs
the dinars for the huge sporting complexes she's erecting."
"I see." Xena grimaced. "Joxs?"
"Warrior-type, athletic, muscular."
"Me."
"That would be it, honey."
"Can they do this? Is it legal? Is there anyway to fight back?"
Xena asked.
"Well, there is an ancient rule..., but it wouldn't matter as we
could never pull it off anyway..."
"What rule?"
"Well there is the Match."
"Match? Like a warrior's challenge?"
"Sort of, only more sportier, actually."
"Sportier?"
"Well, you pit an artsie against the leader, that being Martina,
and the winner of the match gains back control of the island."
"Is it to the death?"
"Gods no, but the land will become permanently the joxes, so the
risk is great, and no artsie could ever beat her anyway." Rosie
frowned.
"I'll challenge her!" Gabrielle cried. raising her fist towards
the heavens.
"Not on your life, unless..." Xena paused, as if deep in thought.
"As an arstie, can you name a champion?"
"Yes! And we were kinda hoping..."
"I'd do it," Xena sighed.
"Ya."
"I see."
"Ya see," Rosie said, turning back to the nervous women. "I told
ya she was alright."
"HAIL XENA!" they all cried collectively.
Rosie smiled and turned back to the warrior. "We prepared
something just in case you'd agree."
Xena's eyes widened. "No really, you shouldn't have."
"Don't be silly," she cried. "We wanted to. We're practically
burstin'!" Rosie turned to the others. "Ready girls?" They all
nodded.
Xena cringed and awaited her fate.
Rosie puffed her chest, swept back her hair, started snapping her
fingers and began.
"Oh, Xena you're the greatest
even though you are a jock,
You've rescued oh so many,
arsties, jocks, and even cross,
We can't tell ya what this means to us
So we had to write this songgggg (pause for effect)
We really are excited you've agreed to join our throng"
"All together now!" Rosie cried.
Xenaaaaaaa, (insert walking base and piano)
you are the best! (pick it up girls)
A cut, no doubt,
Above the rest! (harmony kicks in, Yes, Yes, a cut above the
rest!)
Xenaaaaa
you know no fear, (No Fear! No fear!)
And neither do we
when you are here! (When she is here!!)
Xenaaaaaa,
We are your slaves (Your slaves, your slaves!)
We sing, we dance, we write
At times we even rave! (Yes Rave! Rave, at times we even Rave!)
Xenaaaaaaa
You are our goddess (God-dess! God-dess!)
Your smile, your eyes
your legs, your shapely bodice (That shapely bodice! Oh yeah!)
"Break to solo." Rosie steps to the front. "That would be me!"
The evil tyrant Martina, she travels with her Tess
The one you saw earlier, the one that wears the sweats
She's something we should warn ya bout
She's tougher than she loooookkksss
She's got the ticky power and she'll mark ya in her books
"Together girls!"
Ohhhh, Xenaaaa
You must be strong (Be strong, be strong, she must be strong)
As tennis, is odd, no doubt,
Things can go wrong (they can go wrong)
Martinaaaa
She does not lose (She never loses)
Because she's got the edge
In shoes (She's got that edge in shoes!)
But Xenaaaa
Our faith's in you (In you, our faiths in you)
We're counting on you now
Don't you dare lose (by the gods don't you dare lose)
Xennnaaaaa
Enough's been said (It's true, enough's been said)
You're everything to us
And good in bed! (So good in bed!)
Soooo, (Rosie gets down on one knee. arms out for maximum effect)
we end this sooooonnnnngggg (Huge pause!)
Our lives depend on you,
You can't go wroooonnnng (hold note and fade)
"Terrific." Xena sighed.
"Great!" Gabrielle clapped. "That was great! I mean...-" Her
voice was interrupted by a panicked bird call near the door.
"Trackers!!!" the scout warned.
"The trackers!!!" Rosie cried. "Quick, everybody back into
position!" she instructed, and all the women scurried back to
their original places.
Xena and Gabrielle watched wide eyed, as the women raced around in
a mad frenzy. Then the door to the front flew open and everyone
froze.
Tess entered flanked by three trackers either side. She surveyed
the crowded room with suspicious eyes, traveling round making note
of each and every minute detail, her nose sniffing the air for any
signs of covert artistic activity. Her eyes stopped at the
warrior, an eyebrow raised. "What is going on here?"
"I was checking the kitchens," Xena explained, as she walked
towards her, running a finger across the counter. "Seeing if they
were, in fact, acceptable."
Tess's eyes narrowed. "Really."
"Really." The warrior glared down at her and then glanced at her
fingertip in feigned disgust. "And, as a matter of fact, they are
*barely* acceptable I will be filing a complaint in the morning."
Tess bristled. "You wouldn't."
"Oh, but I will." Xena smiled. "And book me an appointment with
Martina, tomorrow morning, as I wish to discuss a matter of utmost
urgency."
"And what would that be?" Tess growled.
"I will discuss it with her, as you are merely the hired help."
Tess's cheeks began to burn. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. Just mark it in your book. And she better not be
late." With that, Xena turned, collected Gabrielle, and stepped
out the back door, leaving Tess's mouth an open invitation to the
night insects.
------------
"They were doing something conniving, I just don't know what,"
Tess muttered, pacing back and forth in Martina's bedroom. It was
a large room, rectangular in shape, lavish, yet sporty. There was
a general tennis theme that carried throughout the furnishings and
wall hangings. The mantel housed numerous trophies. The bed
covering was a racquet design that was repeated on the walls. And
the floor had a court design, the lines working their way down the
length of the room. Oddly enough, there was indeed a net erected
in the middle as a divider between the workout area and the
sleeping quarters. All in all, it was pleasing to the eye, in an
offbeat way.
Martina was seated on the stationary bike, pedaling madly, beads
of sweat forming on her brow. "You don't think it has anything to
do with the lease do you?"
"I don't know...I don't..." Tess stuttered nervously. "She's
coming to see you in the morning."
Martina's eyes narrowed. "Then that's it. She's joined the
arstie faction as a sympathizer."
"The Match Challenge?" Tess asked weakly.
Martina nodded. "I say bring her on. She'll eat my dust."
Tess's eyes widened. "And, um, if she wins?"
Martina leered over at Tess. "She won't. Because there are none
as good as I." She paused while Tess held her breath. "But, just
in case, you'd better be prepared."
"Prepare how?"
"That's not my problem, that's yours. That's what I pay you for...
you figure it out."
Chapter 6
-------------
you can eat crackers in my bed anytime
Barbara Mandrell
"Oh I don't know, Xena. I think you pissed her off. She's gonna
come for me for sure now." Gabrielle paced the room.
Xena sat on the bed watching the bard fret. "Come to bed,
Gabrielle. You're worrying needlessly."
"I can't sleep yet, I'm too tight. And I'm still hungry."
"Hungry?" Xena asked incredulously. "We just ate."
"I know, but it wasn't filling, you know, feels empty somehow,
bunch of vegetables..."
"Gods, Gabrielle!" Xena cried in exasperation.
"Well it's true!" She complained and went over the saddle bags and
began rummaging around in them. "I don't know how they survive.
Ah ha!" she exclaimed, and pulled out something wrapped in cloth.
"What is it?"
"Leftover ritz crackers!" Gabrielle replied with growing
excitement and headed over to the bed.
Xena frowned. "You're not going to eat those on the bed are you?"
Gabrielle peeled back the cloth and grabbed one. "Why not." She
chomped one, crunching it enthusiastically and then grabbed
another. "Leetle sthale, but snot phtoo phtbad."
Xena cringed as she watched excess crumbs fall to the sheets. It
was beyond horrifying but she held her tongue, as this was the
first time today Gabrielle appeared happy. She wasn't going to
ruin it with her petty idiosyncrasies. Gods, this relationship
thing wasn't all it was cracked up to be at times. She sighed
and turned away, no longer able to watch the crumbfest before her
eyes. Then a hand came into her line of vision with a cracker in
it.
"Want sthome?"
Xena shook her head and swallowed, as her dinner reignited in her
belly.
"Sthomethinpg wronphg?"
"No, no." Xena swallowed. "Fine, great, fine."
"Smore for me thpen." Gabrielle replied, and shoved another in her
mouth. Tiny crumbs permeated the damp night air as they fell like
star dust towards their sheets.
Gods, gods, gods. Xena finally could stand it no longer and rose
from the bed and walked towards the window, gazing out into the
darkness. She sighed deeply, as she missed the quiet peacefulness
of the forest. That, and a crumbfree bedroll.
"PHwat you phtinking 'bout?" Crunch, crunch, crunch.
"Camping under the stars." Xena sighed.
Gabrielle stopped munching and swallowed. "Want to?"
"What do you mean?" Xena turned around to face the bard.
"Well, we could sneak out and build a fire and make wild and
passionate love under the stars!"
Xena nodded, a slight grin forming. "I like it."
"Ya! Let's do it!" Gabrielle cried enthusiastically, jumping up
from the bed.
"Alright. I'm game." Xena went over and scooped up the bard.
Gabrielle immediately wrapped her arms around the warrior's neck
and leaned in for a kiss, long and passionate.
Xena stiffened.
"Hmpht?"
"Crumbs."
"Oh. Sorry." Gabrielle grinned. "Drink?"
Walking over to the saddlebags, Xena leaned the bard down so she
could scoop up the wineskin and then took a long drink from it.
"Me," Xena instructed. The bard held it to her lips and she took
a drink of wine, savoring it's sweet taste and ability to wash
away the crumbs. "Ok. Now the kiss."
Gabrielle leaned in for the kiss as the warrior carried her over
to where their bedroll lay. Xena lowered her so she could scoop it
up. Sometimes the warrior was so romantic, insisting on carrying
her. It practically melted the bard's heart. Xena took her to
the door and they paused for another kiss.
Xena opened the door to find Tess grinning madly at her, with two
hench warriors on either side. Her mood went from passion to
aggression in an instance.
"Evening ladies." Tess smiled.
They both stared at her.
"Seems we have a bit of a situation on our hands."
"Get to the point," Xena barked.
"Crumbs." Tess smiled curtly.
"Excuse me?" Xena asked.
Tess pulled out the huge document, trying to contain her
excitement. "It clearly states no crackers in bed, and I believe
your little girlfriend here has just received her third and final
ticky boo!"
"What are you saying?" Xena growled.
"I'm saying Waste Disposal Duty." Tess grinned, leaning toward
the bard, who had gone completely white in the last few seconds.
"Report to the main area at the crack of dawn, late is not an
option."
"She'll be going nowhere," Xena spat.
"Fine then. But failure to comply just means all artsies get
punished, and seems to me righteous do-gooders such as yourself
wouldn't allow an entire group of people to be punished for the
sins of one. No?" Tess smiled a toothy retort.
"I'll be there," Gabrielle replied weakly, looking up at the
warrior.
Xena was in a rage, her whole body quivering from the attempts to
contain it. "Mark my words, Buttress. You'll regret the day you
stepped foot across this threshold." And with that, she slammed
the door in the woman's surprised face.
They both stared at the door for a few more moments until
Gabrielle broke the deafening silence. "Um, better clean up those
crumbs."
"Yeah," Xena said flatly as she continued to stare out into
nothingness. "Crumbs."
Chapter 7
-------------
Rise and shine
And the morning's fine
Mrs. Phopas's Dad
"Gabrielle, wake up!" Xena growled, shaking her hard again.
"No," Gabrielle groaned. "I can't."
"You have to. The artsies, remember?"
"Why couldn't you wake me up the nice way this morning?" the bard
whined, as she buried her head further into the pillow.
"Couldn't risk it." Xena frowned. "Might be late."
"Well, at least I'd be less tense!"
"Gabrielle," Xena sighed in exasperation. "Just get up."
The bard groaned again. "It's practically the middle of the
night!"
"It's almost light. We can't chance it. Now move!" Xena barked,
her hands on her hips. "You know, I have a mind to get me a
Gabrielle doll. Apparently they're coming in for Solstice."
"You wouldn't dare," Gabrielle jumped into a seated position.
"And besides, yours isn't an ordinary doll. It's special."
"Yeah, special all right," Xena replied flatly.
"Listen, I'm sorry about the doll. I promise not to play with it
again, ok?"
"Agreed. Now let's go."
Gabrielle complied and got out of bed, stretching and yawning.
"What do you suppose Waste Disposal entails exactly?"
"I have a vague idea," Xena mumbled under her breath, careful not
to look into the bard's eyes.
"Hmm." Gabrielle peered into the bags. "What does one wear to
these things?"
Yeesh. " Oh, nothing too fancy I imagine."
Gabrielle puzzled this over in her brain. "Ya."
*******
Oo-oo that smell,
can't you smell that smell?
Lynard Skynard
"So good of you to join us, Red." Tess smiled at the sleepy bard
who entered the main meeting area.
Gabrielle looked around. There were ten women total, including
herself, all in a line.. All appeared slight except for one
tougher looking woman whom, unbeknownst to Gabrielle, was the
unfortunate assistant from the chakrum toss. Nobody looked very
happy and Gabrielle began to get an uneasy feeling in the pit of
her stomach. "Hi." She smiled at the others tentatively. They
all grunted back, one petite woman at the end of the line giving
her a reassuring smile.
Tess pulled out tall boots and long gloves and began handing them
out, one by one, down the line, until she reached Gabrielle.
Unfortunately, she had ran out of accessories after the ninth
woman. "Well, Red, looks like you're going in raw." She
chuckled. "Course, wouldn't want to miss out on anything, first
time and all."
Gabrielle swallowed. "No, guess not."
Tess turned to the rest. "Well, girls! Let's get to it then!
Time's a ticking! Follow me," she instructed, clip board in hand,
back straight as she marched out of the main complex. They all
followed in a solemn line, drooped shoulders and heads hung in
resignation as they moved forward to meet their fate.
*******
Xena opened the door to the bedroom and immediately groaned
inwardly. It was, she was pretty sure, yet another theme room.
And although she'd never seen the sport, she had a pretty good
idea it was a tennis one. She peered around, the hum of some sort
of mechanical spinning device guiding her ear, and she caught her
first glimpse of the tennis great herself.
"Xena. Finally up, I see."
Xena's eyebrow raised ever so slightly, and then she quickly
recovered. "I was afraid I'd wake you, so I did my jog around the
island first." She smiled as she headed over to the woman,
pausing to leap across the net divider in the middle of the room,
clearing it with poise and ease.
Martina's eyebrow raised, every so slightly in return. A tiny
ripple of apprehension spread through her as the warrior had
cleared the net like a natural. She frowned internally while
drinking in the sight of the warrior's well rounded muscle
bellies. Well, she thought, she was indeed a fine specimen. But
then she looked at the warrior's shoes and chuckled, gaining back
her confidence tenfold. I mean, really. It was amazing she could
walk in them.
Xena returned the investigative glance with one of her own. Not
bad looking, shoulder length, dirty blonde hair, chiseled, weather
beaten features and nicely developed muscles. All in all, not
unimpressive, but then her eyes traveled to the woman's... shoes?
She caught herself before her eyes widened, and she nonchalantly
let them travel to the odd device she was seated on. But the
shoes! By the gods, they looked completely overdone, practically
existing as an entity onto themselves. She allowed herself
another quick pass at the shimmering white beacons on Martina's
feet, pretending to investigate, further, the wheel contraption,
and it was her undoing.
"Pretty impressive eh?" Martina grinned.
Hades. "Excuse me?"
Martina stopped pedaling and stepped off the exercise bike, making
sure the first step was a full side view of the shoe. A soft
sound echoed through the room as her foot made contact with the
floor, as if air had been released, and then a solid squeak as if
to place an exclamation point on an unspoken statement.
"The Shoes."
Xena looked around the room feigning disinterest. "They're
alright."
The tennis queen smirked and walked over to a towel wrack, grabbed
one and dried her sweat-soaked face. "You made the appointment.
Get to it."
Xena eyed her briefly. "Why are you doing this?"
"Because I can." Martina smiled as she walked over to the
decanter, pausing to pour herself a tall mug of water. "Want
some?"
"No," Xena snapped. She was already well on her way to disliking
this woman and supposed, in an odd way, this was good if she was
to match off against her. It was always better if one could
muster up a good hate.
"Fine," Martina snapped back. Bitch.
Xena tried to pull back her competitive side and focus on
peacemaking, though she felt little of this at the moment. "I'm
sure if you sat down with the artists you could come up with some
form of mutual compromise."
"Why would I want to do that?"
"Balance, harmony, a better island," Xena offered through gritted
teeth. Now, when exactly had her negotiation side left the room?
"Right." Martina snorted back a laugh. "I can *feel* the harmony
from here."
Xena sighed and calmed herself. "Martina, I learned long ago that
our world needs all kinds. Too much of one is not only
unbalanced, it's narrow minded."
"Are you implying I'm narrow minded?" Martina bristled.
"I'm not implying at all, actually." Xena smiled.
"You're quick with the tongue. You'd better pray you're as quick
with your reflexes," Martina challenged.
"There are none better."
"Perhaps," Martina mused. "But then you're in my court now."
"So then, you're determined not to settle this peacefully?"
"We'll settle this on the battle field," Martina stated stiffly.
"As I always do."
"As you wish." Xena nodded. "You know there is much to be learned
from others different from yourself. It's a shame you can't see
past the boundaries of this room."
"Always were a sucker for artsies, weren't you Xena?" Martina
taunted, and was rewarded as the warrior visibly stiffened before
her. She poised for the delivery of the ace. "What did Sappho
teach you, Xena? How to write a good haiku? Bet that's pretty
handy in battle."
"Leave her out of this," Xena growled.
"Ooohh," Martina taunted. "A direct hit."
"I wouldn't waste too much effort on head games," Xena warned.
"You'll need everything you've got if you plan on challenging me."
"I look forward to kicking your leather butt on the court, Xena."
Martina smiled as she downed the last of her water, then paused.
"But don't forget, you lose, and Gabrielle is mine."
Xena nearly recoiled from that last word slap. "What are you
saying?"
Martina chuckled as she sauntered past the warrior, pausing to
jump the net with ease. "Left that particular detail out did
they?" She walked up to the mantle and ran her fingers across a
particularly large Nike statue, winged in victory, her
outstretched hand holding a racquet. "She'll look good beside
Sappho... I'm building a collection."
Xena's eyes narrowed. "What exactly have you done with Sappho?"
*******
"I'm going to be sick," Gabrielle gasped.
"Try not to breathe. If you get that down, the rest is a breeze,"
instructed a pretty, petite, dark haired woman standing beside
her.
"Not breathe?" Gabrielle gasped. "And how *exactly* is that done?"
"Well." The woman faced Gabrielle to explain. "You flex the
muscles behind the nose and cut off the flow of air through the
nasal passage. Then, just breathe through your mouth and you
won't get the aroma."
Gabrielle puzzled over this, then attempted the maneuver
unsuccessfully.
The woman suppressed a chuckle as she watched the bard's face
contort. "Concentrate, gain control, and try again."
The bard struggled for a few more seconds. Finally a grin spread
across her face. "Hey! Thanks! I think it's working!"
"Good." She smiled.
"Wow!" Gabrielle exclaimed as she gathered a bin, dragging it over
to the main container as she began to pour the indescribable
contents into it. "You learn something new everyday."
"Keep the mind open." The woman smiled at her. "And you will be
born anew into the world each waking moment."
Gabrielle paused. "How poetically insightful! Are you a bard?"
"Of sorts." She smiled as she dropped down her own container.
"I'm a poet."
Gabrielle's jaw dropped in understanding. "Sappho?"
"Yes, actually." The woman laughed at Gabrielle's shock. "And you
must be..."
Gabrielle nearly tripped over her container as she extended her
hand, and then, in sudden realization, pulled it back. "I'm
Gabrielle."
"Not *the* Gabrielle!" Sappho exclaimed. "You travel with Xena?"
"Yes, we're..." Gabrielle hesitated.
"Lovers."
"Yes," Gabrielle replied quietly. Gods, this woman was beautiful
and she was suddenly feeling very inadequate.
"Xena has chosen well." Sappho smiled as she admired the young,
spirited woman before her.
"Thank you." Gabrielle blushed. "She never mentioned you before.
That is, until last night so I..."
"That was a long time ago, Gabrielle."
"Yes, of course," The bard shifted awkwardly under the weight of
the conversation.
Sappho tried to comfort her. "I hear you are a great bard."
"Well, stories of Xena would make anyone look good," Gabrielle
replied shyly. "You are what legends are made of and I dreamed of
one day meeting you, but this isn't quite the way I pictured it."
"Nor I." Sappho chuckled. "But alas, that which does not kill us
will make us stronger."
"I guess." Gabrielle grimaced and they both burst into a fit of
laughter. After a few moments they recovered and Gabrielle
grabbed another barrel to begin the ritual of dragging it over
once again. Sappho followed. Finally Gabrielle could hold back
no longer. If she tried to extract this kind of information
from Xena, it could take years. "So, how long ago did you meet
Xena?"
Sappho got a far away look in her eyes. "It was over ten winters
ago. We were very young. Her army had just taken a village along
the coast and she crossed the waters to the island." She saw
Gabrielle stiffen and quickened her words. "Not to pillage, but
to rest. Her army stayed on the mainland while she rested
here, as men are not allowed on the island and she respected that.
She was recovering from a wound at the time and we, well actually
I, tended to her." She paused as she saw the bard become
uncomfortable.
Gabrielle looked down at her barrel. "So, then, you loved her?"
Sappho hesitated. Sometimes the truth was one's worst enemy, but
then, hiding from it always came back to haunt. "Yes." She
nodded her head. "I loved her even then. When her heart was as
hard as stone, I could see the beauty beneath it."
"Yes, her heart is so giving." Gabrielle sighed as both women
gazed out into nothingness, each deep in their own vision of the
warrior. "And the packaging."
Sappho turned to her, grinning. "Well, that doesn't hurt, true
enough!"
"Yeah." Gabrielle smiled thinking of the way Xena's hair whips
around her face when the wind is just right and her smile is at
it's most joyous... It could brighten even the darkest heart, and
ignite a flame in the coldest winter.
"I guess she's still working out then?" Sappho laughed.
"What?" Gabrielle started, and then realized she'd been caught.
"Oh yeah." Gabrielle nodded and returned the laughter.
"Gods... I better not have a look at her then." Sappho smiled
over at the bard.
"No, no looking," Gabrielle warned lightheartedly.
Sappho cocked her head, smiling, as she looked into the bard's
eyes. "But I can see that her heart has finally found it's home."
"Thanks." Gabrielle returned Sappho's warm smile. "And I think
she's finally loosening!"
"Get out!" Sappho smirked.
The bard nodded. "I know it's hard to believe."
"Yes," Sappho agreed. "When I first met her she was very angry and
bitter, but I couldn't help her. I knew she had to find out for
herself that the path she had chosen was not the right one for
her. I'm glad she's finally found the right one, with you."
"Yes." She had spent only a scant few minutes with this woman and
already she felt like she had known her for a lifetime and was as
comfortable with her as an old familiar cloak. Suddenly waste
disposal wasn't nearly as bad as she had feared, and in fact, she
was rather beginning to enjoy herself. "Listen I-"
"Get moving!" someone snapped from behind them, "or I'll be
reporting both of you!"
Gabrielle turned in irritation to see a burly woman she recognized
as a waste participant. "Last time I checked, we were all in this
together."
"Well, I won't be here for long, "the assistant snapped. "You, on
the other hand, will be here 'til you're old and gray."
"Hardly," Gabrielle snorted. "Thank the gods this vacation is
only for a week! Could you imagine if we'd bought into the
timeshare-"
"That's what you think." The assistant interrupted. "But when
Xena loses to Martina in the match challenge.."
Sappho's eyes widened and she turned to Gabrielle. "Is this
true??!"
"Yes," Gabrielle replied. "Xena's going to save the artsies. But
she won't lose and you won't have to be doing this any longer,
thankfully."
"By the gods!" Sappho cried. "If she loses!!"
Gabrielle chuckled. "Don't worry. Xena never loses. And
besides, what's the worst than can happen? You can always come
with us to the mainland and forget this place."
Sappho grabbed Gabrielle by the arms. "That's just it. If Xena
loses, you become Martina's to do with what she will!"
"What!??" Gabrielle gasped. "No one said anything about-"
"Oh yeah," The assistant chuckled as she slapped both women hard
on the back, sending them nearly flying into the contents of the
barrels. "Ya gotta read the fine print."
Chapter 8
---------------
Woh-oh oh-oh
Buy my snake oil
And remember
You got what you pay for
Buy my snake oil, Biafra Jello
Xena was seething as she walked along the roadway lined with
booths, all containing useless trinkets and overpriced mementos.
Breathing out slowly, she tried to calm herself before she tore
everything around her into a thousand pieces. She was
concentrating deeply when something caught the corner of her eye
and she had to stop. She walked slowly over to a booth that
appeared to be filled with Xena dolls. A woman was seated across
the counter and she leaned in for the kill. "Where did you get
these?"
"Arcadia." The woman leaned back. "Very popular. We sell quite a
few of these to the jocks." She looked Xena up and down. "She a
hero of yours or what?"
"No," Xena replied flatly. "I'm Xena."
"Sure, and I'm Callisto," she snorted. "Nice try though, but Xena
is much taller, and you need some serious work in the muscle
department... But you keep working at it, honey."
Xena's jaw locked as she snatched one of the dolls from the
counter. "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind." She examined the doll
and pinched one of the arms bracing herself. No pain was
forthcoming, thank the gods! They were harmless irritating little
replicas, and nothing more. She placed it back on the counter
in disgust.
"Want to buy one?"
"I think I'll pass," Xena snapped and whirled away from the booth
before she tore it apart. Xena continued on, careful not to look
too closely again for fear of recognizing anything else she didn't
want to find out about. She shook her head in disgust as she
headed towards the ocean and away from the irritating dinar
snatchers. It was nothing like the peaceful island she had rested
on many winters ago, when Sappho had taken her in and tended
willingly to her wounds. She sighed heavily as she reached the
beach, heading towards a relatively unscathed piece of land that
hadn't been taken over. She climbed the slope towards the top of
a steep cliff that she'd visited in solitude many years ago. She
reached the top and plopped herself down, gazing out at the ocean
and letting the waves hypnotize her to another state of mind. It
wasn't working, as her gut kept tightening with each lap onto the
shore. Everything around her reminded her of Gabrielle and the
fear of losing the ridiculous match. Her earlier bravado had
trapped her and now she was regretting everything she'd said.
Well, she would just have to win. But what if she failed? There
was no way in Tartarus they'd be taking Gabrielle away; she'd just
have to fight her way off the island. But that wouldn't solve the
artsies' problems.
Sometimes this redemption work could really get a warrior down.
Some furkin vacation. Well, she'd just have to win, and that was
all there was to it. Now if only she knew how to play the game.
Thankfully, she was a quick study, but she had less than a day to
prepare. It wasn't enough time but it would have to do. It was
about time someone kicked that overgrown bully's butt, and she was
very much looking forward to it. Xena stood resolutely and headed
back down the slope towards the roadway, a new purpose in her
stride, feeling a growing confidence with each step. As she
strode past a colourful booth something caught her eye, yet again,
and she was drawn to it. Xena peered in closer. Hey, she'd
wanted one of these for some time now.
*******
Gabrielle opened the door to their hut and peered around
disappointedly. Xena was nowhere to be found. She walked over to
the bed and collapsed onto it, a great long sigh coming from her
weary body. She hadn't worked so hard, for so long, in ages and
already she could feel her muscles stiffening. She turned
over, and gazed up at the ceiling, taking her first really deep
breath since this morning and it felt magnificent. Gods, she
wasn't sure how much more of this 'vacation' she could take, but
then she thought of poor Sappho, who had been doing this for
months and she hadn't complained. Well, at least she was
amongst incredible company. She had never met a more friendly,
caring person, and the day had flown by as they chatted endlessly,
exchanging stories, poems and Xena information. Sappho had been
completely mesmerized by her account of the troubles in Karyaes
and how they had ended up on Mount Lycaon with that evil witch
Lynchia. The bard's initial jealously had been quickly replaced by
a deep admiration and respect as Sappho had taken her under her
wing as a true friend. All in all, it had been an enlightening
day despite the nature of the work, which she now had a deep
understanding of; one far deeper than she would have ever cared to
know.
She stretched and got up impatiently, heading over to the window.
Now where was her love? She really, truly, desperately needed her
*now*. They should have never started talking about Xena with wet
hair, as that had set Gabrielle off. and she could think of little
else for the remainder of the afternoon. Suddenly, her attention
was diverted as she heard an odd sound coming from outside the
window. A ripple of fear spread through her and she tried to peer
around without being seen. It was far too dark. She flattened
her back against the wall beside the window and peered around
again. Nothing. Then she heard the rustling sound again and
snapped back against the wall, reaching for her staff. Whatever
was out there didn't sound natural and she was taking no chances.
Who knew what kind of wildlife roamed around these parts,
especially since none ever got eaten. Her imagination was already
well on its way to full-blown paranoia as her heart began to
quicken in her chest. The sound came again, closer this time, and
she readied herself in a battle stance, her staff gripped tightly.
Suddenly it came into view, feathers sticking out from its
misshapen head. Gabrielle instinctively swung round hard, making
direct contact with the monstrous head., A large cracking sound
resonated through the night air and the head exploded, scattering
debris everywhere. Gabrielle ducked for cover, raising her staff
over her head to protect herself from the falling objects. An
angry growl came from the beast, and for a split second Gabrielle
almost swung round again, but then froze as she recognized the
timbre of the voice. Her heart stopped and her eyes widened. She
got up off her knees and peered out the window into the darkness.
"Xena?"
"Gabrielle."
"Xena!" Gabrielle cried. Gods. Gods. Gods. "What are you doing
down there?"
"Checking for permanent damage to my head," the warrior growled.
"Gods Xena!" Gabrielle cringed. "You scared me half to death.
What was on your head?"
"It was *supposed* to be a helmet," Xena growled, as she picked
herself off the ground.
"Oh." Gabrielle paused. "Come around and let me look at you."
The warrior grunted something unrepeatable and headed round to
open the door. Gabrielle hurried over to greet her, but slipped
on some debris and went flying, landing hard on her rear, an angry
yelp quickly following.
"Gabrielle?" Xena cried in concern. She opened the door and was
greeted by a sprawled bard.
"Fine,." Gabrielle grunted as she looked around the floor. "Xena,
what kind of armor is this?"
Xena surveyed the damage. There were hundreds of miniature sticky
buns strewn across the floor "I got a deal on it. The woman at
the booth called it a piņata helmet."
"Piņata?" Gabrielle repeated. "Well, it's pretty useless as a
helmet, but..." She reached over to examine a sticky bun, popped
one in her mouth, as a smile spreading across it. "Hey!" She
grabbed a few more, popping then into her mouth, then got up off
the floor and extended one to the warrior's mouth.
Xena frowned but relented and opened her mouth, allowing the bard
to pop one in. "Not bad." The warrior nodded in surprise.
"Another."
Gabrielle smiled and popped another one in Xena's mouth. "You
should know not to sneak up on me like that."
"I wasn't." Xena sighed. "I was trying to be romantic."
"Oh."
Xena rolled her eyes. "I don't know why I bother. I should just
give up-"
"No!" Gabrielle grinned. "Don't stop being romantic," she said,
as she wrapped her arms around the warrior, squeezing her tight.
"Yeah." Xena sulked, her head pulsating madly.
Gabrielle felt around for damage. "Nothing permanent."
"Pass me another sticky bun, would you?"
Gabrielle reached down to retrieve a few more buns. She popped
one in her mouth and one in Xena's. "Well, all we need is wine,
and the romantic setting will be complete."
Xena sighed and looked down at the enthusiastic bard. "No time.
I have to practice for the match."
"What!" Gabrielle groaned. "Now?"
"Yeah. I've been working hard on my swing, but my backhand needs
work."
"What?"
"Backhand. You know... Tennis. I've got the aces down as well;
just keep picturing Martina's shoes on the line and it works every
time."
"Asis?"
"Gabrielle," Xena said, sighing. "You must brush up on your
tennis knowledge. Don't want to look out of place at the tennis
match. Quite high brow stuff, apparently."
"You're joking."
"Wish I was." Xena squeezed the bard and smiled at her. "But if
you want to run with the best, you'd best get running."
"That's awfully catchy, coming from your mouth."
"Read it on a wall in the practice arena," Xena snorted, and
reached down to pop another bun into her mouth. "All this tennis
has got me hungry."
"It's the protein deficiency," Gabrielle complained.
"Hmm, perhaps you're right," Xena replied, thoughtfully.
"Listen ,Xena." Gabrielle grabbed her by the arms. "I really
need, uh, just a moment of your time I'm not asking for much...
Perhaps something quick and dirty. I don't know, anything, if you
could just dip your head in the water basin over here..."
Xena looked at the bard, shaking her head. "Not the wet hair
thing again. Gabrielle, I swear..."
"Xena, that's all that kept me alive this afternoon..."
The warrior sighed and gazed down at her. "Gabrielle, you're
crazy."
"Perhaps." The bard nodded. "So?"
Xena rolled her eyes, walked over to the basin and dunked her head
in it, ensuring it all got completely soaked. Then she whipped
her head up, making sure her eyes were closed seductively, as she
shook her head back and forth in near slow motion, taking her
hands and sweeping the loose strands from her face with long,
purposeful strokes. She finally looked over at the bard, who was
staring intently at her, and had to stifle a laugh. "Like that?"
The bard nodded slowly and swallowed.
She moved back towards Gabrielle slowly, swinging her head back
and forth, shaking the excess water as she went, and bent down to
plant a long, seductive kiss on her lover's lips. She felt the
bard's knees give way and wrapped her strong arms around her
waist, hoisting her up and closer to her body. Suddenly she
was caught in her own trap as a warmth shot through her, shivers
spreading down her spine from her lover's reaction to the touch.
The bard groaned under her lips and the warrior echoed it with a
quiet moan of her own. The warrior lifted her lover up and
carried her to the bed, laying them both down, with Gabrielle
still entwined around her.
Gabrielle smiled, her quarry having been successfully captured.
And she went down quicker than even she had hoped. She wrapped
her arms around Xena's neck and kissed her deeply, passionately,
with a burning hunger. She ran her hands across the warrior's
shoulders, pulling the shoulder straps of her leathers with her,
and the warrior shivered.
"To Hades with the backhand," Xena mumbled as she allowed the bard
to remove her leathers, stealing another deep kiss that sent
ripples of heat from her center.
"Exactly., Gabrielle sighed in agreement, as she unlaced the last
of the leather and tore it off. "Who needs it, what ever it is."
"Yeah." Xena nodded as the bard started to lift up her shift.
"Stupid sport."
"Stupid." The bard nodded as she lifted Xena's shift over her
head with a little help from the warrior. Damn, if she wasn't
getting better at this clothing removal. Practice did indeed make
perfect, but she was mindful not to voice that in fear the warrior
might start getting ideas about smacking the ball around
instead of taking care of the serious business right here in the
hut.
Xena began to untie the bard's top, now desperate to feel her
nakedness against her lover. It took less than a few seconds and
the bard's breasts were released. Xena's mouth was already there
to greet them. She was trying hard to maintain composure but was
losing the battle, yet again. Each time they made love, Xena was
sure she was actually feeling less in control, when it should have
been exactly the opposite. It now took less than a few seconds of
her lover's touch and she was completely hers. She was beginning
to think the bard was slowly driving her crazy with need, each
experience only deepening her desires. "Crazy," Xena finally
spoke aloud.
"Crazy sport," the bard agreed and ran her hands down the
warrior's back slowly, making tiny circles with her fingers as she
worked them up and down her spine. She was rewarded with a quiet
moan that came from deep within Xena. She returned this with
small gasps of her own as the warrior gently pulled on her
nipple and circled it lazily with her tongue. She lifted as the
warrior worked her skirt down, her mouth never leaving her
breasts. Finally there was nothing between them but a building
passion.
"I'm supposed to be practicing...," the warrior whispered, as she
ran her tongue up her lover's neck, pausing to suck gently in the
nape, enjoying the sweet salty taste of her lover's skin.
"You are," Gabrielle gasped. "Harder," she instructed, and the
warrior bit gently down on her sensitive skin. Gabrielle groaned,
as she whipped her head sideways to allow for deeper access.
"You're doing great," she gasped.
Xena smiled. "Thanks, coach."
"Don't mention it," the bard moaned. "The ear."
"I'm getting there." Xena grinned as she covered the bard with
soft kisses. She finally came to rest on the soft flesh of her
ear, taking it gently in her mouth as her tongue worked across the
delicate grooves. Gabrielle immediately sighed deeply and wrapped
her legs around the warrior's waist, her hands reaching up and
burying themselves in the warrior's wet locks. She could feel her
lover already starting to shake.
And then the knock came. You had to know it was coming.
The warrior reared her head like a mad beast, lifting herself from
the bed in an instance and swooped down to retrieve her chakrum.
She tore open the door. It nearly came off its hinges, but
thankfully held. It was that irritating chatterbox, no doubt with
the dinner call. "Don't open your mouth," the warrior growled.
Ellen of LA's eyes widened. The warrior lifted the chakrum up in
a threatening manner. "See this." Ellen tried to respond. "No,
don't speak. Just nod." The woman obeyed. "Good." The warrior
smiled. "Next time I hear a knock on this door, this chakrum is
going right through the wood and will lodge itself deep in the
forehead of the unfortunate knonk. Is this clear?" The woman
gulped. "So I suggest you guard this door 'til dawn because I
wouldn't want to have to kill anyone before the match. Might put
me off my game. You can understand that, no?" Ellen nodded.
"Good girl. Now go back to that Tartarus tent and bring me a
large keg of your best wine." The woman was about to protest, but
the warrior raised the chakrum slightly higher. It was enough for
Ellen. "And the finest food, and leave it at the door." Ellen
nodded numbly. "And I wouldn't knock if I were you." Ellen shook
her head in agreement. Xena gave Ellen a final curt smile and
slammed the door in her face. She turned to the bard, who was
stifling a laugh, as an evil grin spread across the warrior's
face.
"You're bad Xena." Gabrielle smiled.
"I know," she replied and headed back towards the bed.
*******
"You're not nervous are you?" Tess asked tentatively.
"What makes you think that!" Martina snapped from her position on
the exercise machine.
"Well, it's just that you've been pedaling and staring into space
for over an hour. I was beginning to worry." Tess cringed.
Martina stopped and turned to Tess. "I'm NOT NERVOUS!"
Tess wilted. "Of course not. Just checking, really."
Martina snorted and started pedaling again, staring at the
racquet-design pattern on her wall. "How did she look?"
"Not bad," Tess replied with thinly masked apprehension.
"Good, you mean."
"I never said that,"
"You didn't have to. It's written all over your face."
"Oh." Tess started to sweat all over again.
"So what's the backup plan?" Martina growled. "Not that we'll
need it of course."
"No, of course not." Tess spoke hurriedly. "I'm working on it."
Yeesh. Big droplets of sweat were starting to make their way down
her round face, landing softly on the shoulders of her gray
sweats.
"Good," Martina said, nodding. "'Cause I'd hate to think you
didn't have one." She continued to stare at the wall, as there
was no need to look into Tess's eyes to render her to jelly. The
non-glance was always the most powerful.
"Yeah," Tess laughed nervously. "The plan." The plan was indeed
formulating in her mind, and it involved a small rowboat and some
rations. She'd need them on the long trip back to the mainland.
"And don't think about taking off, Tess." Martina smiled. "We're
putting a tracker on you."
"You wouldn't dare!" Tess cried.
"No need to worry now, is there?. If you've got a plan." Martina
finally afforded a glance towards her and was rewarded with a
subtle weakening of the knees.
"Nope." Tess sweated. "No worry."
*******
"Gods, Gabrielle. I don't know how I managed to travel with you
for two years and not ravage you," Xena gasped as she buried her
head in the bard's shoulder, biting gently down as another shiver
of desire spread across her.
"You think you're the only one that suffered?" The bard groaned,
pulling the warrior closer to her inviting neck. "All those
tartarus stories, just so I could keep my mind occupied and off
your incredible breasts."
The warrior paused and lifted her head. "Really?"
"Your breasts or the stories?" Gabrielle smiled up at her lover.
Xena shook her head, smiling. "It doesn't matter now." And she
bent down and kissed her love deeply. Since the evening practice
was off, might as well take it nice and slow, just like vacation
love making should be. Finally a break, and Xena was not going to
deny herself a slow and savoring pleasure. She paused to gaze
into Gabrielle's eyes; eyes that were dancing from her touch. "I
love you."
Gabrielle's heart melted all over again as her love spoke those
three words; words that now meant more to her than anything else
in this world. She swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat
from emotion. She leaned up and captured her love's lips in her
own. "I love you," she whispered, and no further words were
spoken.
Chapter 9
------------
I hear you knocking
But you can't come in
I Hear You Knocking
"I said don't knock!" Ellen cried under her breath.
Rosie frowned. "But it's long past dawn, and if we don't get her
up she'll be late for the match!"
Melissa paced in the background, clutching her guitar. "You never
had to wait for nothing in your life..."
"Shut up!" Rosie growled. "I need to think."
Melissa sulked and clutched her guitar tighter, singing more
softly now. "And when night after night the scent of passion
would linger..."
Rosie turned to Melissa. "So you're saying they've had too much
sex. That it?"
"Go on and close your eyes, it shouldn't bother you..." Melissa
retorted.
"Melissa!" Rosie cried in exasperation. "Do you know how
infuriating you are???"
"I got bad intentions on the soles of my shoes," Melissa snapped
back.
"That's it!" Rosie cried heading, over to Melissa with purpose in
her stride. "Give me that guitar!"
Melissa's eyes widened and she started backing up. "With your
heart in your fist, you laugh at my situation!"
"ACk!" Rosie cried and lunged.
"Break it up!" Ellen jumped in frantically, coming between the
advancing Rosie and Melissa just in time. Arms were flying,
guitar strings echoing through the morning air. "We don't have
time for this. Of course, then again, we do, seeing as we can't
knock and all, so I guess, then you could say that in fact-"
"Shut up! Both of youz. I'm workin with morons here," Rosie
cried, raising her eyes to the heavens. She turned towards the
door. "I'm knockin and she's comin out!"
"Curiosity kills if you can't read the signs...", Melissa warned.
Rosie shook her head, muttering under her breath. "I swear I'm
gonna shove that ever lovin mother of a guitar up..." She reached
out her fisted hand toward the door and hesitated, a tiny bead of
sweat forming on her brow.
*******
"Xena?"
"Hmm."
"Hey, sweetie."
"Mm."
"I think it's late."
"Who cares?" the warrior groaned, and nuzzled further into her
lover's bosom.
Hades. Gabrielle frowned and stroked her love's hair. "I think
we have to get up."
"I can't move," Xena groaned. "They can wait."
A worry crease spread across Gabrielle's forehead. "I guess this
one's my fault."
"Mm hmm." The warrior nodded against her chest.
Gabrielle lifted up the warrior's arm that was draped over her
shoulder. It hung limply in her grasp and she let it drop with a
dull thud. She smiled. "So this is you loose then?"
"Uh huh," Xena sighed.
"Different."
"Yeah." Xena finally stirred and lifted her head up to look at
her lover, smiling through half closed eyes, her head swaying
slightly. Then she dropped her head back down. "Loose."
Yeesh. "Perhaps you had one too many-"
The warrior nodded into her chest.
"And that keg. You seemed to quite enj-"
Another affirmative nod.
"Shall I throw the basin of water on you?"
Nod.
*******
Rosie gulped, hand only inches from the wood now. She poised it
with stoic resolution and plunged-
"Wait!"
Melissa, Ellen and Rosie all jumped visibly and turned around.
"Sappho!" they cried. Well actually, Melissa just strummed her
guitar in exclamation.
"Hi guys!" She smiled and headed over to give them all a big hug.
"I thought you were supposed to be in waste disposal." Rosie
cringed visibly.
"They let us all out for the big match." Sappho smiled. "Don't
knock. I'll do it."
"No!" Ellen cried, running over and blockading the door with her
body. "She'll kill us all!"
"No she won't." Sappho chuckled as she strode up towards the
door, shooing Ellen aside. "She's a big softy, once you get to
know her."
*******
"Cold."
"I know." Gabrielle leaned down and kissed her lover softly on
the lips. "Wet hair again."
"Don't start." Xena grinned and sat up finally, stretching long
and hard.
"Geez, I'm kinda tired, too." Gabrielle frowned. "How many
minutes did we sleep?"
"About ten." Xena smiled up at her.
"Hmm." The bard pondered this. "Seems like less, actually."
The knock.
They both looked at each other. "I'll get it," Xena said as she
got up and strode over to the door. Fully naked, she opened it
wide to reveal an appreciatively staring Sappho. Her eyes widened
and she slammed the door in her expectant face. She turned in a
panic towards Gabrielle, her back against the door. "Gods!
Gabrielle! Throw me my shift!"
Gabrielle burst into laughter from the bed. "Suddenly shy?"
Xena's cheeks flushed ever slightly as she looked up at the
ceiling, feigning boredom. " The shift, Gabrielle."
"Here." Gabrielle tossed it over. The warrior snatched it and
slipped it on.
"Thanks," Xena mumbled, almost incoherently, and reopened the
door.
"Xena!" Sappho smiled from ear to ear and leapt onto the warrior,
wrapping her arms around her neck with great enthusiasm. "How
rude of you to close the door in my face!"
Xena was as stiff as a board. Finally, after what seemed like
hours, though only a few seconds had passed, she brought her own
arms awkwardly around and hugged Sappho back. "Um, hi. Sorry."
Sappho let go and stood back, surveying the warrior with a
devilish grin. "Relax Xena! Gabrielle and I are already good
friends, and she'd been filling me in on your escapades."
Xena's eyes widened and then narrowed. "I see."
"Oh Xena!" Sappho cried in exasperation and reached up and to
give her a big kiss on the lips before the warrior could protest.
She stepped back smiling, reached up and tussled the warrior's
hair. "You haven't changed a bit." She eyed her up and down. "In
fact, I think you've gotten better."
Xena finally softened and smiled back at Sappho. "And so have
you." Then she reached over, put her arm around Sappho and turned
to Gabrielle. "So what lies have you been spreading?"
"Only the good ones." Gabrielle grinned.
"Terrific," Xena replied flatly, then turned to Sappho. "I'm
sorry I didn't get a chance to come around sooner... I should have
really..."
"Stop fretting ,Xena." Sappho chuckled. "It gave me an
opportunity to meet your beautiful companion here." She smiled at
Gabrielle, then turned to Xena. "You're a very lucky woman."
The warrior returned the smile with a warmhearted one of her own.
"I know," she replied softly.
Sappho looked into the warrior's eyes and saw a softness she had
only dreamed would some day be there. Sadly, it was not her own
heart that had captured the warrior. She looked over at Gabrielle
and knew at once that soulmates did exist, and she was gazing at
the living proof before her eyes. She sighed and turned back to
the warrior. "I can't let you do this."
Xena squeezed Sappho harder. "You know once my mind is set..."
"But Gabrielle..." Sappho spoke with a whisper.
"I won't lose," Xena assured her, and looked over at the bard.
"Gabrielle won't let me."
"That's right," Gabrielle agreed. "We've been working on her
backhand all night. I think she's ready."
"You guys are too kind." Sappho smiled gratefully.
"No we're not. We're drunk." Xena smiled and turned to Gabrielle
with a wink. "That right?"
"Yep." Gabrielle grinned. "And completely spent."
Sappho looked worriedly between the two. "You 're joking, right?"
"Right," Xena replied, slowly.